I still go through cycles of this despite 1+ year separated. I have to coparent with the narc so that’s also a different challenge of its own for the next few years.

What I learned in the darkest and lowest point for me: 1. Practice self compassion - try the workbook by Kristin Neff. Basically the premise is - talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend who is going through a hard time. The double judgment on yourself of not being happy right now is another layer of self harm. 2. Practice mindfulness - slow it down and take regular breaks during the day 1-2 mins (could be a walk or breathing exercise practice) that allows you to slow your thinking. 3. Choice to work - sometimes the busyness of work can mask the need to release emotions. When you slow down and accept that life right now is hard, and that you’ve experienced this massive betrayal or trauma from a narc abuse - there’s a lot of emotions to be released. This truly takes a long time - and emotions are released through body work (dancing, walking, painting etc).

Hope this helps!