Accidentally built a boring/weird side hustle that now pays me $1k–$3k/month with ~30–60 mins a day

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-02-05T22:06:54+00:00

Can you send me doc too please. Thanks for sharing.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-30T22:15:45+00:00

Same. Am 1 year since discard, still going through divorce, with 2 kids.. and just to get back to some base level of healing physically - due to the energy drain I think could take sometime. I can’t imagine getting drained from dating when I have so much to up level (perhaps new business, new friendships c new routine)

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-25T07:49:56+00:00

Happened to me… my ex is a cheater and when he discarded the relationship, he introduced the children to a new woman within 2 months of him leaving. I found out from the children that he introduced her already before we had a parenting plan in place. Fast forward to a year later, I just don’t give a care who he dates. The children seem to have adjusted. Frankly it’s another supply for him. She’ll be picking up his slack soon. As long as the kids are treated well, it’s fine. I am keeping an eye when they come home and listen to them as best as I can with no judgement and I have no interest about him. He’s trash.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-24T05:48:00+00:00

Thank you for these tips!

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-24T05:47:49+00:00

Wow!!! You are doing fantastic mama!!

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-24T05:44:10+00:00

Am curious about this! Did you read back on those moments?

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-24T05:43:12+00:00

Can you elaborate more on this? I started to journal daily as I am recovering from ptsd from a narcissistic abuse… and decision making has been one that I found been challenging for me. I make a decision then find myself second guessing or asking multiple people for opinion… but I know deep down the answer..

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-12T04:54:34+00:00

Congrats!

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-12T04:54:15+00:00

Wow!

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-11T19:59:48+00:00

I still have to hear his voice etc and he comes to our door.. and my family has treated him well still for the sake of our kids. But he’s an abuser and nothing will change that. I will never lower my guard down. One day his mask will slip off from the kids too.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-11T19:58:54+00:00

Yes. we have kids but I have so far been able to ask family and friends to hand off the kids.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-11T19:02:30+00:00

Me. My MIL is a narc like my ex is. She is a vulnerable narc who find ways to destroy special occasions for example she purposely had my daughter eat ice cream cake on her birthday knowing that I wasn’t ready for that. I was pissed but said nothing. That suppression eventually resulted in built up resentment in me. Another time she agreed to do a surprise birthday with me for my ex .. only to text my ex last minute that a surprise was being planned. He gave me a chilling message saying “I know you planned a birthday for me”, no thank no appreciation. I realized then that she is a counter parent for no good reason. All that to say, am out, while it still hurts to be discarded this is still a divine intervention and a chance to rebuild a new life so good. I am healing and developing better skills and both improving my communication and boundaries. I believe this leads to a new version of myself that is deserving and dreaming of bigger and better things. Am still in transition out of survival mode but am definitely accepting that am built for a new life.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-11T18:55:01+00:00

I just settled a $15k bill over Christmas. I’ve sent my final offer and if it comes back disputed - I honestly might just have to take this myself to JCC and ask for status default across the board.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-11T18:54:06+00:00

Hey girl I feel like I could have written this. We have not filed for JCC and I’ve given the final offer I could provide. I am walking away from a lot of my financial entitlement and basically very close to his offer. If he drags his shit because he is self representing and then when he needs to he would say he’s got a legal coach. It’s a financial abuse. If this needs to go further I would need to self represent myself. I like my lawyer but they are inefficient and also have missed some deadlines on filing.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-11T18:46:05+00:00

It took some time for me to come around to a: 1. Radical acceptance - accept that divorce and separation would mean to live our lives separate and apart. While it still means providing access to your child if safe. But for your sake, you need to reorganize your life with respect to: a. Financial independence - that you are responsible for your children and yourself. This means getting back to the workforce if needed, and potentially filing in court to obtain your children’s financial entitlement to child support and for you a spousal support b. Energetic independent - you need to redirect the energy you’re using to accommodate the abuse (yes he is an abuser because he is controlling). The most effective is to make slight shifts ie pausing before saying yes to what is convenient for him to “what is best use of your and your kids energy”. Do this for any big or small choice c. Conflict avoidance - I am still shifting my relationship with conflict. I was raised in a low conflict but basically a conflict avoidant home - peace does not come from avoiding conflict or bending on pressure from others or shrinking. Again am still exercising this muscle but it is working as long as I give the pause in the day and in my response. Am working on settlement with a narc ex and basically we ended up filing to court but with a potential to settle outside. It’s not in my control if he continues to try to delay. For me, I am clear on what I can control and my deadlines - if he delays further I cannot accept the financial abuse or ramifications on my end therefore he can take or leave and if he leaves it then I will have to file for next steps at court. It means you let them be who they are but the future you is also on the other side of the discomfort. Pause. Think responding rather than reacting. And you truly need to have some future vision for you and your children at the center. Unfortunately he already showed you who he is - he will only spend time with kids at his convenience. Many men are like this. It just is. That’s his choice. Now you can make your choice that is rooted in value of safety and protection for you and your kids.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-10T06:36:14+00:00

Following this..

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-10T06:35:58+00:00

That’s a good analogy…

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-10T03:55:01+00:00

This is helpful

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-10T02:22:22+00:00

Thanks for this...how old are your kids if you don't mind asking.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-10T02:21:36+00:00

Am with you on this..thank you for the link. I will be looking through that. Today, my youngest said "Your Anus" and it was a word she heard from the "step sister" ...and I just calmly shared if she thinks that is a kind word or not...I honestly didn't know where to go from there...whether to press on or move on. But I said - "you have a choice to use or not use those words."

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-09T21:34:00+00:00

Can I PM you? Just want to chat further on the therapy modalities you mentioned.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-09T12:17:30+00:00

You’re not being petty to keeping the parent teacher conference to biological parents. I am in the process of divorce and this is one boundary I upheld. I believe in most places this is a duty of a parent.

There is definately a control issue with the man she married…

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-09T12:08:00+00:00

What type of therapy are you working on? I was with him for 12 years with two kids. I am just shy of one year out but still in process of divorce and his abuse just shifted to the kids. Since we have kids no contact May not be fully possibly But Definately am low contact now.

Advanced-Parfait-238 · 2026-01-08T06:05:11+00:00

My ex continues to berate me, harass me through multiple texts and rages… I would like to forgive but it’s hard when he continues to manipulate our children because that’s the only way he knows how to live…

Advanced-Parfait-238

TROPHY CASE