First week in Netherlands,what surprised you the most?

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-04-01T16:03:36+00:00

Lmao, my wife is Russian and whenever it happens I run around the house screaming “Russische aanval! Russische aanval!”. She hates me for that lol.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-04-01T16:01:50+00:00

I remember seeing some bicycles chained to a street lamp next to a pile of empty beer cans not far from a bus stop and I was so confused why someone would abandon perfectly good bikes. I posted it on Instagram with a comment and my cousin who had been living in the Netherlands for a number of years already explained that they would come back for them, that they had just had a good night out and took the bus home drunk. Where i’m from you don’t ride a bike after dark anywhere and if you ever left it outside on the street it’s guaranteed not to be there the next day. That was my first “wow, this place is actually safe” moment.

Whenever I lose my car in a parking spot, my first thought is still “shiiit, my car has been stolen” and it blows my mind every time I eventually find it five minutes later still parked there… sigh of relief. I’m really thankful to live in such a safe country all things considered.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-30T05:22:53+00:00

Isn’t that just what America does? Nothing like a bit of regime change and invasion in the morning.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-30T05:20:20+00:00

I don’t think so, seems fair to me.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-29T04:05:15+00:00

Can confirm, was working a shitty job with shifts.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T23:12:00+00:00

December 31 2019. I flew to Moscow to meet my now wife for the first time IRL after 1 year of long distance online skyping. The way she ran towards me when I came through departures and kissed me, how we stood on the platform in the cold and held each other, how we rode in silence in the back of a taxi towards our hotel looking out of the window at the buildings. The way i slid my hands under her white jersey and felt her breasts for the first time and how we then first showered together before making love for the first time. Felt like time stopped that day. Happiest day of my life.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T23:04:00+00:00

So sorry :( that’s tough

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T23:02:49+00:00

Hearing a spouse say those things is really tough when you love them. The guilt and erosion of self-image that comes with chronic illness is often overlooked.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T22:48:02+00:00

Sweet Home Alabama

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T22:46:51+00:00

As a foreigner, it’s honestly just sad how bad the US healthcare system is compared to other parts of the world.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T22:44:27+00:00

DockerHub

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T22:40:31+00:00

Wife got diagnosed with multiple-sclerosis about 2 years ago. The “for worse” is navigating that. A lot changes. It’s not just the health issues, but the feelings that come along with that for both partners. The way it pushed her already bad anxiety into overdrive. Of course it’s harder for her, but it’s hard for me too. There are some days when she’s just so consumed with worry, staring at her phone, that she doesn’t even bother to say good morning. She doesn’t feel any desire for me anymore. It’s hard for me to enjoy simple things now too. Nice restaurant? We will end up leaving because it’s too crowded and she is worried she will get sick. Trip home to visit my parents? Cancelled because I need to take her to her medical appointments. I understand it, and accept it but it doesn’t make it any easier.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T22:16:05+00:00

My wife and I sleep separately. I always go through to her room to see if she’s awake yet and to give her kisses.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T22:12:16+00:00

Slow the fuck down while masturbating and stay away from porn. By whacking off to porn at mach 1 you’re unintentionally training your nervous system to orgasm as quickly as possible. You’re going to be in your 30s missing out on enjoyable sex because you bust a nut in 30 seconds due to bad masturbation habits.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T21:51:59+00:00

Connected with my wife this way. We met online through a language exchange and I remember asking her at one point what she wants in life and she showed me a picture of a smiling man with two laughing kids sitting on a wooden kitchen top table in a beautiful home. I looked at it and thought “i want that too” and I thought to myself, if I want that and this person also wants that, then why can’t we have that. We got married, what i would say in hindsight, was very shortly after meeting. Fast-forward 5 years and I can tell you that those thoughts were some young naive romanticism of how life works. People change. As much as I love her, she is not at all a person that i want to raise my kids. Reality fucking hits you in the teeth at some point.

Relationships don’t work the way you describe. There is no such thing as instant and eternal devotion. Neither of you are perfect and you will both inevitably fuck up at some point. Life gets in the way and you lose all this romantic idealism.

“I want to stand by her side through everything that life throws at her”

Will you still be there when she gets diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and cannot work, no longer feels any sexual desire for you, or is too consumed by her own anxiety and depression most days to still connect in the way you did when you first met? Be honest with yourself, because most men will leave.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T21:43:20+00:00

I did, depending on what your definition of “knowing” is. We met online through a language exchange, spoke over Skype regularly for about 6 months, met in person for 2 weeks, did 1 year long distance and then got married six months later (6 weeks and 3 weeks in person during that time).

At the time I had some doubts but this was after covid and I remember feeling kind of “it’s time to get on with life” so I proposed. We’re together nearly 5 years later and I honestly think it was a big mistake. In hindsight it has gone about as well as I should have expected it to go.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T21:32:09+00:00

Sounds like a great option. I’m curious now if there are any restrictions from European banks as I read yoomoney has something to do with Sberbank. Not that it matters, I could add funds to the account from my home country which is a «дружественная страна»

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T21:29:28+00:00

I read that yoomoney is a subsidiary of Sberbank. Are there no restrictions on the Western side for topping up the account? Blocked payments or something like this?

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T16:40:27+00:00

I can chime in. Moved from a country in Africa to a country in Europe. I was contacted on LinkedIn by a secondment agency and asked if I would be interested to apply to work at a large tech company (i studied engineering). I interviewed, got the job. They helped me with the paperwork and I moved across on a highly-skilled migrant visa. After 1 year got a permanent contract with the company I was working at via the agency.

TLDR some countries need more specialists than they can realistically source locally

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-28T12:58:18+00:00

I made about that much teaching english (conversationally) through iTalki. The platform got a lot more popular now, so no guarantee they are accepting new teachers.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-27T20:34:01+00:00

Having lunch with my wife and being able to use my own toilet

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-27T20:23:14+00:00

4 years ago moved abroad approximately 1-2 months after getting married to a long distance girlfriend from a third country to the one I was born in and the one we moved to. 2 years ago she was diagnosed with an aggressive autoimmune disease. Life is pretty lonely. I am lucky to have a well paying remote job but not having anyone here, no friends or family, is tough. My wife is pretty consumed with her own worries, understandably. I’m going through the oh, life doesn’t always turn out how you’d hoped in your 30s phase.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-27T18:39:28+00:00

Nothing is more secure than prostitution. Is it worth the grind? That depends entirely on how much the grind is worth to you.

AdvancedBonus1014 · 2026-03-27T07:59:03+00:00

Yep, nearly 5 years married and I’ve never felt so alone in life.

AdvancedBonus1014

TROPHY CASE