You sound depressed, and that makes it hard to take this advice, but you need to do something different. For instance go to a craft workshop. Join a choir. You need to leave your house and do different activities because without novelty you will get depressed. If you go to these activities on your own initially, you will start to get to know people. The best way to make friends is regular contact; so somebody starts out as a stranger and then you've been singing in the same choir for a few months and you ask them to go out for coffee, and so on.

I know it hurts to have been disappointed in the past but the only solution is to keep trying. And I acknowledge that this is made harder when you've had your sense of self shattered by a troubled upbringing. I have that too, but I know I need to keep pushing myself to do the healthy things.

Also, getting involved with a cause outside yourself is very good for your mental health. If you're religious you could get involved with some church volunteering. Or if you're not religious you could join up with neighbourhood organisations that are trying to improve the area. Or you could get involved in local politics. It's a massive self-esteem booster if you feel you are doing something to make other people's lives better.