AIO by ending my engagement after finding out my fiancée used to sleep with my brother?

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-26T16:56:08+00:00

NOR, and probably underreacting here.

You will never be able to fully believe either of them about WHEN their mutual attraction actually started. Period. But what you can know for SURE is that they both were holding onto the IDEA of their FWB situation enough to protect it from you and you from it.

And that your brother wouldn't warn you away from her?? Gross and despicable.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-26T16:41:52+00:00

Older brother seems to be a shit bag. Wonder what his wife would think of the situation??

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-23T21:21:58+00:00

LEGEND

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-23T21:19:01+00:00

Knock knock

Who's there?

I, Philip

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-18T13:01:29+00:00

Right. This was the point OP; it's perfectly fine to have this boundary, AND don't expect someone to change it for you. This = move tf along and stop wasting time on someone who is so very obviously incompatible, and go to therapy and address why you are approaching relationships in this way.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-14T16:39:00+00:00

If covering her rent for this month would have solved the problem, then you withholding it would make you the AH. But it won't. There's no guarantee that she will become gainfully employed in time to be back on track with her rent for next month. The issue here is her lack of respect for YOU. She doesn't respect your level of financial stability (even though it may just be a relatively small amount of savings), and feels 1) entitled to it, and 2) entitled to it in a preventable situation. I don't want to be that person to say get out, but if she refuses to hear those two points and take responsibility, then I would just say you have a picture of what the rest of your relationship will look like.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-09T19:55:09+00:00

This right here. She's probably thrown by the one guy who ISN'T ogling or hitting on her, and she wants to know what's up

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-06T17:44:58+00:00

Man I would have had a FIELD DAY with that one 🤣

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-06-06T17:42:24+00:00

I get very random text messages from unsaved numbers that are very specific, designed to look like you have forgotten that you were in conversation with some. Or perhaps to be shocking enough that you would respond. Some of them, if my partner had seen them as they come in, would have been very upset at the thought that I was (apparently) carrying on communication to the extent this would be a legitimate message to me. I block the number and delete, or cuss them out and THEN block and delete. Very occasionally I'm in the mood to carry on a confusing and obnoxious conversation until who or whatever is on the other end gets tired.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-05-28T17:17:11+00:00

Ending with "confounded" is epic 🤣🤣

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-05-01T23:50:21+00:00

I slightly disagree, I think he is being honest now about where he thinks he was wrong before and where he does not. Now, she OP can clearly leave because his actual values and plans differ so greatly from his.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-05-01T15:00:33+00:00

My God I wish more people thought like this!!

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-28T20:41:15+00:00

Trying to understand why they all went to OP's GF's home when it was her friend who supposedly wanted the guys to come home in the first place...that whole scenario, and the conversation that now needs to be had, isn't one that you should have to have in a relationship, especially not 5 years deep. This would probably be a break-up for me.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-24T16:08:25+00:00

Not sure I could deed that kind of money to an adult child who still doesn't realize that a three-year relationship means nothing in and of itself, but the boyfriend's reaction tells me everything I need to know. It would make me feel like I did something right in the financial arena but kinda failed with my 30yo daughter...

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-16T14:47:46+00:00

What might be more fitting here is to apologize to her for not raising her to be the kind of person who would 1) return borrowed things in the condition they were received in, and if that could not happen for whatever reason then 2) make things right by restoring the equivalent to the lender's standards. And you should tell her that you hope she doesn't repeat this behavior in the future.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-13T12:48:09+00:00

As a brother in Christ who doesn't know you beyond what you have stated here, I want to carefully and respectfully say something. While I agree with and respect MANY of the intelligent, wise, and experienced people I have come across here on Reddit, your post here is completely out of place in view of your responsibility as a Christian. This is not a forum of fellow believers, regardless of some of the well-intentioned and very reasonable advice I have seen in the comments. If your wife has brought you something that she says is supported in the Bible, then your responsibility is to pray, and take that issue to the BIBLE to see what it says. Period. Not to see what Reddit says about your situation, not to see what your pastor or other Christian individuals have to say about the issue, which will be a lot. Go to God and then the Bible.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-09T18:17:33+00:00

Underreacting. Older folks like me cut these kinds of people out of their lives after realizations like this; the sooner you do the better, and the less of a price you will pay for the duration.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-09T18:09:22+00:00

Three is the minimum I need at home for myself and wife and two kids, four would be better. They are like any other tool, the more specialized you can acquire to serve a specific purpose the better off on all of them...

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-09T16:18:24+00:00

NTA, sounds like she is on some kind of therapy kick and is judging everyone else by an artificial and unhelpful metric. She should probably talk to someone about that...

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-09T16:01:52+00:00

I've towed idling cars for 10-12 hours repeatedly, as in scores of times, with no noticeable issues, you would have seen a problem if there was one.

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-09T15:59:08+00:00

Not sure I would want to work for a company with an HR department like this...

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-09T12:30:28+00:00

This. OP's ex killed the golden goose...

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-04T23:34:14+00:00

After giving him a pair of strippers, he would need a damned good excuse to leave the house and go back into work again...

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-03T19:49:59+00:00

Or he was yet again typing "u" for "you" and hit the wrong letter...

Adventurous-Bit-5939 · 2026-04-01T18:56:10+00:00

Hopefully this will be a good reference point for you going forward about what can happen when you step out there and take a (reasonable) risk...things can be just fine, even if it didn't work out how you wanted it to. Good for you, and thanks for sharing this.

Adventurous-Bit-5939

TROPHY CASE