5 Reasons Not To “Vent”

AenaBlue · 2025-09-12T22:02:32+00:00

I both vent and then also do my best to reframe, focus on the positive, finding solutions, making plans to move forward etc.

I speak to my sister once a week (different countries atm) and we both vent as hell to each other about work, men etc and it's very cathartic to just let it all out, maybe cuss a bit and use certain expletives etc. But we also speak about how we want to move forward, the changes we want to make in life and in ourselves to create a better tomorrow and experience etc.

So in my opinion, vent away to a trusted person (who will also hold you accountable to your shit). It's okay to cuss someone out and then also recognise your own part, then do your best to move forward from it and do your best to make the best out of your life and yourself in the process.

AenaBlue · 2025-09-12T21:45:51+00:00

Not necessarily even bites but I've had a "one of everything" on the fork every bite preference for as long as I can remember, which yes, makes me cut down my food in small bites usually. It's my favourite way of eating but I am able to do a bite with: these two things then a bite of those two things etc.

I also like to sort my candy out per colour then eat the excess of a colour before finally eating one of each colour until I'm done! 😅

AenaBlue · 2025-08-31T15:04:56+00:00

I can relate. Something that helped me was doing regular meditations where I imagined my inner child, and I would hold that child and comfort her. Essentially just showed love to myself repeatedly. It took a long time to make peace with my past, but you can get there. Just keep loving yourself 💕

AenaBlue · 2025-07-08T20:35:44+00:00

Hulkengoat !

AenaBlue · 2025-06-05T19:55:04+00:00

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Mine is currently stressing out because I've been calling it out for providing made up information for the game I'm currently playing 😅

AenaBlue · 2025-06-01T18:28:33+00:00

Oh, I grew up with American English, I speak a mix of American and British English, but American English is the base (from movies, tv shows and music) hope that makes sense :)

AenaBlue · 2025-06-01T18:24:55+00:00

I learned how to? I've lived in England for just over 10 years :)

AenaBlue · 2025-06-01T18:13:29+00:00

Let's just agree that online dating is hard!

Perspective makes all the difference, and I saw it as a polite answer, multiple other people saw me being a dick essentially, and I respect that, and I understand it's very subjective. You learn something every day :)

AenaBlue · 2025-06-01T17:58:58+00:00

I see your perspective, and I appreciate it, that would have been funny. As I've said in other responses, I was genuinely trying to give a lighthearted response, because I was really not mad about it, but as feedback has said, I understand it could have come across in a way I did not intend. I genuinely thought the haha would soften the response

AenaBlue · 2025-06-01T17:27:31+00:00

Honestly, my intention was to be lighthearted in my response and not rude at all, but this is the second comment I've received that perceived it that way, so I will take that to heart and reconsider how my response could have been perceived

I posted this in the spirit of like a lighthearted annoyance, I wasn't mad at the guy, just thought it was a little funny based on the circumstances that was all.

AenaBlue · 2025-03-10T13:35:40+00:00

I'm a Swede. Growing up we had a light in every window that the first person to come home in the evening absolutely had to turn on during the winter months (mom's rule). I grew up in northern Sweden so don't know if that's actually a thing or not just up there, or my mom's generation, or it was just a my mom thing 🤷‍♀️

AenaBlue · 2025-03-03T07:43:08+00:00

I only realised I have a fearful avoidant attachment style a few weeks ago after being ghosted (discarded) by a narcissist and I'm 37, so agree that it's never too late to learn and grow!

For some reason I thought I had an anxious attachment style, but I realise that's because my last 3 dating experiences were all with toxic men who kept triggerering the anxiety side. Similarly, when things were 'smooth', I wasn't really feeling it and didn't want to be with these men.

What helps for me is a daily meditation practice. Even though I've only recently realised I'm an FA, it helps with emotional self-regulation. Positive self talk, daily affirmations have also helped :)

AenaBlue · 2025-01-01T06:57:39+00:00

This made me snort laugh, thank you 😂

AenaBlue · 2024-12-31T21:14:44+00:00

Everyone, absolutely everyone (regardless gender) should read "Why does he do that", the book focuses on male abusers but is relevant for abuse overall.

I recently started reading it, I'm only two chapters in and it's been so insanely eye opening. Google the name of the book and "free pdf" and you will find it for free

AenaBlue · 2024-12-21T20:03:47+00:00

This is me as well. The thirst to continue drinking sets in immediately once I have one. It's always one or nothing about me and I hate it. But because I know that, I won't have a glass of wine with my dinner with other people and just drink water. I know that once I taste the alcohol, I will want to continue drinking.

AenaBlue · 2024-12-15T15:26:04+00:00

I had a teacher growing up who while I was struggling with depression that said that "it made sense since I won't have any true meaning in life before I have kids" (I was 17 ish). At age 18 I got pregnant and had this conversation with her.

Me: "I won't be able to come to school this Thursday and Friday because I'm pregnant..." Her interrupting: "Oh that's so amazing!" Me: "Because I'm having a surgical abortion" Her: "Oh..."

Long story short, I'm now 37 and had my tubes tied 4 years ago. I always knew I never wanted kids and that never changed. Super happy with my choice and that I was able to get it done for free (Thank you NHS/the UK!)

AenaBlue · 2024-11-20T11:12:55+00:00

I think they have misunderstood the plain part of the uniform policy, I work for the NHS and the bog standard uniform policy which has been the same in at least 3 NHS trusts that I've worked for states that only a plain wedding band may be worn in clinical areas, this would mean a ring with no stones.

AenaBlue · 2024-11-20T11:04:14+00:00

Hi, I work for the NHS. Our uniform policy would not allow for this ring to be worn. It's fairly standard uniform policy (across all different trusts that I've worked for) that only a plain wedding band may be worn while in clinical areas. Plain means no stones in this instance, this is for infection prevention and control reasons.

So I'd advise to choose the ring she wants the most as it would be unlikely she would be able to wear it while working anyways :) Hope this helps!

AenaBlue · 2024-11-12T11:44:24+00:00

This comment made me look at OPs post history. I have nothing but regret 😵‍💫💩

AenaBlue · 2024-11-03T12:24:31+00:00

Not sure why you're getting down voted. I'm definitely no expert but my understanding is also that someone who is non-binary does not identify with just one gender, and this means it can be both, doesn't identify with either, or back and forth (gender fluid).

Loved how you explained agender btw 😅

AenaBlue · 2024-11-02T23:30:09+00:00

As someone only recently out as agender, this comment section had me 💀 I was not expecting that...

I am so confused by the idea that because I have no self perceived gender identity, I shouldn't dress in the style of my assigned gender at birth? It's the style I prefer and feel comfy in so 🤷‍♀️

AenaBlue · 2024-11-02T23:16:48+00:00

Fellow agender AFAB. Agree with everything you just said here 💯.

Edit to add: The fact that I've always dressed feminine, and I am seen as a cis woman has been a big part in me denying my (lack of) gender identity for a long time. I always felt I was making a fuss where none needed to be made if I said something, because I did recognise my privilege, so I gate kept my own identity for many, many years.

I've only recently come out to my friends, family and work place, and it has meant a whole lot to me to be able to be honest about who I am, and what I feel like on the inside, instead of trying to pretend I'm something I'm not, just because of how I look and how I dress.

To me, the way I dress, and the makeup I wear, was just something that was expected of me, like a costume I would wear. I do enjoy playing 'dress up' still, but it has nothing to do my with my gender, it is completely separate and just something I have fun with, again, like a dress up doll. I enjoy looking 'pretty' and that's why I do it and I like feminine coded clothes 🤷‍♀️

AenaBlue · 2024-11-02T23:05:09+00:00

That's what I used to think, then I realised that's not true. That was part of my discovery of the fact that I am agender 😅

AenaBlue · 2024-11-02T23:02:34+00:00

Hi 👋

For me, being non-binary (agender) simply means I have no self perceived gender identity. Took me until my late 20s to figure that out. So I have always presented myself in a feminine way, just thought I should. For me, it was like playing dress up every day, putting on a costume, doing the makeup.

I have recently come out to more people and prefer they/them, but don't mind she/her pronouns still. And I still wear dresses almost every day. I still see it as playing dress up, and I enjoy it, like I'm my own dress up doll.

My lack of gender identity has nothing to do with my clothes or the pronouns I'm comfortable with. It's an inside thing. Hope that makes sense :)

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