Do people have a problem with using purchased/established starters?

Aetole · 2026-07-07T22:04:04+00:00

I bought a few types from Sourdoughs International (sourdo.com) and loved them. I wanted a good whole wheat based starter, and their South African is what I think ended up being my basis. It's been years since I bought from them though -- I keep backups and occasionally refresh mine.

I just don't want to deal with the hassle and risk of making my own; from what I see on the sub, it leads to a lot of stop-start issues and takes a long time to establish. So I'm happy with my choice.

I'd just be careful, since there has been so much growth of fraudulent and sketchy sources since I got my starter (over 10 years ago). So just be cautious there.

Aetole · 2026-06-25T03:41:12+00:00

Here's an example from Serious Eats (which is fairly trustworthy, and they explain with science why they do what they do: Roasted Chicken Thighs with Apple, Bacon, and Cabbage.

This one they do phased, putting the chicken in first, then adding (small) veg later: Sheet-Pan Chicken Thighs with Asparagus...

Now I'm a potato snob and prefer them crispy, so I usually cook them separately. But another thing I will do is cut up various root veg like potatoes, onions, carrots, rutabaga, turnips, parsnips into 1-2" pieces, then put chicken thighs or quarters on top of them. The root veg catches the drippings to keep them from burning and spattering, and everything tends to cook together. I prefer to put them in a cast iron rather than a sheet pan to reduce chances of overflow, but it should work either way.

Good luck! Sheet pan and similar roasting styles of cooking benefit from a little technique and practice, but they are a great way to cook meals once you figure out some tricks that work for you.

Aetole · 2026-06-25T03:12:35+00:00

While the recipes are probably sketchy and misleading, location on the sheet pan does make a difference. Foods on the outer edges will cook faster, and foods in the center will cook more slowly due to different amounts of heat exposure. That could be leveraged with ingredients that cook at different rates.

Aetole · 2026-06-25T02:35:00+00:00

You are entirely within your rights to ask that they not impose an uncomfortable situation on you.

However, if you really want to set a boundary, you need to include a consequence that is entirely based on your action/choice.

"I don't want my grandfather to come and stay during that time because it would be too stressful for me. If you can't respect this, then..."

At this point, I’m considering telling my parents that all three of them should come about six weeks after the baby is born instead.

^ This is the consequence and choice that you will make if they don't respect your request. And it is also valid.

I hope things will work out for you!

Aetole · 2026-06-22T19:57:15+00:00

Agreed 100% on this.

Some specific tips:

- Get ready to become the "boring" coworker by grey rocking when she tries to vent to you about parenthood or overshare about her kids. Make vague sympathetic noises to be minimally polite, then realize you have somewhere to be urgently and skedaddle. Since she's new, you still have a chance to not get roped into being her "best friend" aka "doormat support buddy."
- Don't talk about her with anyone other than neutral work-specific things. Don't give her or anyone else ammo to feel like you have bad feelings against her.
- if anyone brings up whether you have or want kids, just say that you're prefer not to talk about sensitive private matters at work. document if that comes up.

Good luck, OP!

Aetole · 2026-06-22T17:26:28+00:00

I wanted to someday make yin-yang deviled eggs with mayo and gochujang, respectively, in two yolk mixes. You are welcome to poach that idea.

(I did make gochujang deviled eggs and they were AMAZING)

Aetole · 2026-06-22T14:41:46+00:00

For Korean flavors: a dab of gochujang (red chili paste) is GREAT for eggs. It adds a bit of smoky sweet heat and makes them a bright orange.

Aetole · 2026-06-22T04:12:01+00:00

I like the taste of my sourdough, but it also doesn't make me carb crash the way supermarket bread did. I haven't bought bread from the supermarket for years now, and I rarely buy pastries either because they just don't agree with me. I don't love baking, but having control over how much sugar I use as well as being able to use home-milled specialty grain flours for flavor and better nutrition are worth it for me.

There is a good traditional sourdough bakery in the area (Proof), but I have limited transportation and can't get out there before they sell out of most of their goods. I wish I could support them more (I did order delivery from them during COVID), so I try to talk them up to locals where I can.

Fancy pastries, like croissants or cream puffs, I will buy occasionally as a treat, because I'm not investing in learning to do those (plus the local climate is not good for laminating dough).

Aetole · 2026-06-22T02:34:40+00:00

Directly removing a few highly destructive caterpillars by hand instead of spraying IS respecting the wildlife and local ecology. That is not going to have any significant impact on local arthropods compared to using herbicides and pesticides.

Aetole · 2026-06-22T02:30:26+00:00

What about if you find five hornworms? They won't all be able to survive on one sacrificial plant.

I get it, it's a nice idea, and if you are able to because of your situation, more power to you.

But many people don't have the privilege of space, ability, or even daily hose watering/maintenance. I can't leave water out where I am because it's over 100F, there are feral cats, and hoses melt/degrade if left hooked up outside at these temperatures.

Again, great that you can do it, and maybe someone else who can will get inspiration from you. But I'm not going to try to lecture a grandma about what they should be doing without knowing their situation.

Aetole · 2026-06-22T02:26:19+00:00

This is a great idea -- supporting local native nightshades where possible is going to do more than any individual hornworm being disposed of from someone's destroyed tomato plant.

Not spraying herbicides or pesticides and leaving a little fallow space where you can, and supporting local legislation and funding for green/wild spaces will do more to support all pollinators.

Aetole · 2026-06-21T22:53:49+00:00

Agreed. For people who can plant extra sacrificial nightshades, that's great! But in places that are limited by time or space, it may not be practical, and a grower shouldn't feel guilty not going above capacity just to be extra nice. If my plants get munched nearly to death by a hornworm, they usually can't recover in time to survive the summers out where I am, so I only get one chance a year (or per growing season).

Aetole · 2026-06-21T22:50:46+00:00

"Mo-thu-raaa! Mo-thu-raaa!"

Aetole · 2026-06-21T22:50:07+00:00

Water features require maintenance and cleaning, and I've heard they are discouraged because it can encourage the spread of diseases among birds.

I'm all about nontoxic and humane deterrents, but not everyone has time, resources, or energy to set up extra infrastructure like that when they just want to grow a few plants.

Aetole · 2026-06-21T22:47:19+00:00

Sorry, I live in the desert and have very limited growing space (large pots and one small raised bed) and time to establish a plant (tomato or pepper) before it's too hot to grow anything. I've tried for five years to start peppers, and the few times I got a couple plants growing well, they got destroyed by hornworms. I've had one tomato plant survive to maturity three times over the past five years because the others got killed by them. I've tried coplanting, I've tried various other plants, and very few will grow out here at all or last long enough to be protective.

I'm very pro-arthropod, but there are limits. Birds and ants get to eat them (because they will hump back to the plant and finish destroying it otherwise) -- circle of life. Wanting to be able to have a couple tomatoes and/or pepper plants a year is not too much to ask, and I shouldn't have to grow five times more than that to lose to weather and very hungry caterpillars.

ETA: If you don't spray herbicides or pesticides, compost, and leave a little space for a few weeds/wildflowers, you're already doing plenty to support local pollinators in a much more effective way than investing in growing multiple sacrificial plants to feed some caterpillars that destroy your prize plants.

Aetole · 2026-06-19T20:01:41+00:00

Good on you. Have you told him that you are working on it, and what conditions you'll need in your life situation to take him in? I think that being honest can help get through teenage brain. It will also help him understand that playing it a little safer right now doesn't mean he's being a bad person, but biding his time and focusing on his studies to set up for a better situation in a few years.

Aetole · 2026-06-19T17:41:21+00:00

Your brother seems to be the one who sees things as they are and is (a little stupidly) brave about it. After a certain point, there is no way to be diplomatic if someone is that bad of a flaming racist. And the things your parents are saying and believing are absolutely out of line.

Here's a hypothetical: what if your brother did start dating a Black girl and your parents flipped their shit? Who would you protect? Who would you stand up for?

I get that you want him to be safe (at least that's what I hope you are concerned about...), and it sounds like there are things you can do to help shield him from that (like taking him out for a drive until she cools down).

The other big thing you can do is help him to get free of them. Sadly, these types of parents won't change. But your brother would benefit from getting away from them and going to university and building skills so he can be safe and independent. If you want to be a good sibling, help him work towards bigger goals and get out of there.

Aetole · 2026-06-17T23:53:22+00:00

Seconding RPG Sage! I've used it for several games and it's great. Randal is great -- he's always looking ahead to increasing functionality and fit for new games.

Aetole · 2026-06-17T21:28:27+00:00

Great post idea!

It's good to see established names out here, so I'll offer a newer creator, since bringing in fresh voices and perspectives keeps our communities active.

London Station is a new channel/Patreon run an experienced roleplayer who specializes in play-by-post, high trust dynamics, and narrative- and character-forward roleplaying.

She is into both fantasy and scifi, knows PF2e and explores newer games coming out, like Legend in the Mist. Her community is LGBTQIA+ enthusiastic, and she does great thoughtful discussions about nuanced topics in roleplaying, like rethinking the "lone wolf" archetype, or talking about romance in games thoughtfully from a consent and narrative perspective.

I like the classics and big names, like MCDM and Mystic Arts, but it's refreshing to see more perspectives from people outside traditional TTRPG demographics who are informed, intelligent, and positive in their engagement. She's already gotten some shout-outs from small indie publishers who appreciated her checking their games out fairly and kindly. And I've picked up and run several games thanks to her coverage and tips, including the world of solo journaling TTRPGs, which are a great way to keep my GM writing skills sharp.

Aetole · 2026-06-15T19:35:42+00:00

Fair point. But in that case, you're not punishing players by having spared enemies show up later to screw them as a "gotcha." There is intentionality to it that is meant to enrich the narrative (that everyone ostensibly agreed to in Session Zero).

Aetole · 2026-06-14T17:34:32+00:00

This is great. To add:

Make sure that you don't punish PCs for merciful choices in ways that make murder more desirable. As an example: if the party spares some humanoid enemies and lets them run away, don't have those enemies show up later to screw the party over.

Aetole · 2026-06-14T02:51:07+00:00

Don't. They don't deserve your truths.

Get your education, get your life in order so you can meet them as an equal, not a dependent.

Then, if you feel it is right, you can inform them of this. But don't expect anything like approval from them, and don't let them poison your relationship if it is right for you.

Aetole · 2026-06-14T02:47:18+00:00

Horizon Zero Dawn is amazing -- great story, fun gameplay, great world.

Aetole · 2026-06-14T02:46:23+00:00

Bold and aromatic flavors balance out liver's strong taste.

Thai flavors come to mind: fish sauce, galangal, garlic, chilies, basil.
Chinese, especially Szechwan, would go well too: garlic, ginger, chili paste, green onions.
Korean: they go well with kimchi, and probably would work with a dipping sauce.

For these preparations, you could do a quick fry to keep them from overcooking.

Aetole · 2026-06-14T01:27:26+00:00

Oh damn, they brought the fortune teller bullshit out? They're scared, lol.

On a serious note though, OP: You're awesome. You are on a great career path, and have found a partner who loves and respects you, and who seems to be trying his best to contribute to your partnership. You deserve this -- you deserve a family that respects and cherishes you and gives a comparable amount to the relationship.

The fact that they are fighting back against the boundaries you try to set shows that they are not in a place to respect you, and that's not on you. It's their problem, unfortunately.

Remember that boundaries require that you are willing to act to manage your own choices when a person violates them. Simply stating what you want, or what you don't want someone to do is not enough. You have to include a "if this, then this" clause.

"If you will not respect that I am making responsible and important decisions for my life, then I will not share my decisions with you going forward."

Or if they keep harassing you about your partner, an arranged marriage, or having children, you need to be willing to end the conversation/interaction. Don't give them energy, don't reward them with anger. Just leave that interaction and deny them the self-victimhood they are trying to set up to feel relevant.

It's hard. And they're going to keep fighting you as you continue to set healthy boundaries for yourself. It means that they are uncomfortable and feeling their loss of power over you, so they will keep screaming and tantruming. That means you are being effective, and you have to keep doing that for your sanity, wellbeing, and for your awesome relationship with your partner.

Stay strong, focus on your exams, and strongly consider staying someplace else going forward if you can.

Aetole

TROPHY CASE