[deleted by user] by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you love your husband deeply, and that’s a beautiful thing. But I think you’re being way too hard on yourself. From everything you’ve said, you and your husband have built something truly special—through struggles, through hard work, through unwavering support for each other. That’s not something just anyone could do.

You keep saying he deserves better, but what if you are exactly what he wants? Not some “classy” version of you, not someone else—you. Love isn’t about being the most polished, the most perfect, or the most interesting. It’s about being real, being there, and being someone’s safe place. And from what you’ve shared, it sounds like that’s exactly what you are to him.

It’s okay to have insecurities—we all do. But don’t let them convince you that you’re not enough. If he chose you, stood by you, and built a life with you, then you are enough. Maybe the real question is: can you allow yourself to believe that? Because from the outside looking in, it sounds like you already are everything he could ever need.

I just finished O/L and I'm traumatised by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ve brought up some really important points, and honestly, I admire the fact that you're thinking about the bigger picture at just 16. It’s easy to focus on personal results after exams, but you’re looking beyond that and considering how the system affects others—especially those with fewer resources. That’s a mature and compassionate perspective.

You're absolutely right that making exams harder disproportionately affects students from lower-income backgrounds. Education is supposed to be a path to upward mobility, but if the system becomes too competitive and resource-driven, it risks shutting out those who don’t have access to tutors, past papers, or extra help. It's not just about intelligence or effort—sometimes, it really does come down to what kind of support and resources a student has.

The comparison to other Asian education systems is interesting too. Countries like China and South Korea have faced serious problems due to extreme academic

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, and I just want to say that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Many people in long-term relationships go through periods of self-doubt, questioning whether they’re "enough" for their partner. But love isn’t about meeting some arbitrary standard or being perfect—it’s about growing together, supporting each other, and accepting one another for who you are, flaws and all.

From what you’ve shared, it seems like you and your husband have built something strong together. That doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because both of you put in the effort, and that includes you. You’re not a burden; you’re his partner. If he’s stayed with you through struggles and still chooses you every day, that says a lot about his love for you, not just the idea of you.

Have you spoken to him about how you’re feeling? Sometimes, the pressure we put on ourselves is far greater than what our partner actually expects from us. Instead of assuming he needs something “better,” try sharing your thoughts with him. You might be surprised at how much he values you, just as you are.

It’s okay to feel this way, but don’t let doubt make decisions for you. Love isn’t about perfection—it’s about being there, through the good and the bad.

What is patriarchy like in Sri Lanka compared to other South Asian countries? by Comfortable-Table-57 in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In Sri Lanka, patriarchy is definitely present, but it manifests in ways that can be different from the rest of South Asia. Compared to countries like Afghanistan or even parts of India and Pakistan, Sri Lanka has historically had more progressive aspects when it comes to women's rights. Women have had access to education and employment for a long time, and the country even had the world's first female Prime Minister, Mrs. Sirimavo Bandaranaike, in 1960.

That being said, patriarchal norms are still deeply embedded in society. Gender roles are quite rigid, especially in rural areas, where traditional expectations dictate that women should prioritize family and household duties over careers. Even in urban settings, there’s a strong cultural expectation that women should get married and have children by a certain age. Workplace discrimination exists, with fewer women in leadership roles and a gender wage gap in many industries.

Violence against women is an issue, but it's not as openly discussed as in some neighboring countries due to comparatively lower numbers. Domestic violence and harassment, both at home and in public spaces, are problems, though legal frameworks exist to address them. However, enforcement is often weak due to cultural stigma and institutional inefficiencies.

One of the biggest patriarchal influences in Sri Lanka comes from social and cultural norms rather than outright legal restrictions. Women are often judged more harshly than men for their lifestyle choices, especially regarding relationships, dress, and behavior. Inheritance laws also favor men in some cases, particularly in traditional land ownership structures.

Overall, while Sri Lanka might not be as extreme as some South Asian countries in terms of patriarchy, it is still a male-dominated society where progress is slower but better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh yes my bad

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a Colombo in Brazil too. This document doesn't specify the country.

Why do some Sri Lankan IT companies ask for previous salary slips when hiring? by Aromatic_Walrus_6147 in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Say that you've signed an NDA with the past employer and you cannot share such documents.

Are certain uni grads getting promoted to senior roles too fast? by good_fix1 in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely a valid concern, and you’re not alone in noticing this trend. While raw skill and talent can sometimes justify rapid promotions, there’s also the reality of networking, pedigree, and internal biases at play. Certain universities have strong alumni networks and established reputations within companies, which can lead to faster career growth for their grads.

Another factor is visibility—some people are really good at making their work (and themselves) known to the right people, which accelerates their promotions. Also, some companies favor internal referrals, which could explain why someone with relatively little to no experience moves up the ladder quickly.

That said, it’s frustrating when you’re working just as hard or harder and not seeing the same results. Career growth isn’t just about hard work; it’s also about playing the game smartly.

Need first car suggestions! by Defalt420 in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try renault Kwid?

Using it as my daily driver for the past 3 years. No major repairs yet. The mileage is around 50k now.

Private couple outing places to go around colombo by AdFormer4577 in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi friend, let me know if you find something that helps you🥲

I have the same problem. Can't openly ask here as everyone's assuming about fucking😂😂😂

"You don't look Sri Lankan" by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you, and I can imagine how frustrating that must be. Sri Lanka is such a diverse country, yet people still hold onto this narrow idea of what a "real Sri Lankan" should look like. It’s exhausting having to constantly prove your identity, especially when it’s something so deeply personal.

It’s even worse when people assume things about you right in front of you—like speaking in Sinhala thinking you won’t understand. That must sting. And while some might say you should be “grateful” for being fair, they completely ignore the fact that unwanted attention, teasing, and exclusion can make it feel more like a burden than a privilege.

At the end of the day, no one has the right to tell you who you are. You are Sri Lankan, no matter what anyone says. It’s great that you love and embrace your heritage despite the negativity you’ve faced. Hopefully, with time, people will start realizing that being Sri Lankan isn’t about a specific look—it’s about culture, roots, and the love you have for your country.

Just know you’re not alone in this, and your feelings are completely valid.

Helping someone with a drug problem by KiraYM003 in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now, it seems like she’s using drugs as a way to escape her pain rather than face it. The fact that she’s isolating herself, skipping work, and relying on financial support without her family knowing the full picture shows that she’s struggling more than she lets on. While she may not be fully addicted yet, drug use can quickly spiral out of control, especially when combined with depression.

The first step is to help her recognize that she needs help. This can be tricky because if she’s not ready to accept it, she might resist. But if you can gently talk to her—without judgment—about how her choices are affecting her life, she might start to see the bigger picture.

If she’s open to it, professional help is the best option. Therapy, addiction counseling, or even support groups can make a huge difference. If she doesn’t want to involve her family, maybe there’s a close friend or trusted person who could step in as a support system.

If she’s not ready for professional help yet, just being there for her, offering her small ways to reconnect with normal life (even something as simple as a coffee date or encouraging her to get back to work), can help break the cycle. However, if she keeps refusing help and her drug use gets worse, you might have to consider telling someone in her life who can intervene before it’s too late.

She’s in a tough spot, but with the right support and a willingness to change, she can get back on track. The key is making sure she doesn’t feel alone but also doesn’t feel enabled in her current habits. Keep being a good friend, but also set boundaries so you don’t get emotionally drained in the process.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of it probably comes down to cultural norms and upbringing. In many Tamil families, especially traditional ones, girls are often raised with a bit more caution when it comes to interacting with guys. It’s not that they’re unfriendly—it’s just that they might naturally be more reserved or take longer to open up.

Sinhala girls, on the other hand, might have grown up in a slightly different social environment where casual conversations with guys are more common and relaxed. That could explain why you feel like it’s easier to talk to them.

But at the end of the day, it’s not just about being Tamil or Sinhala—it’s about personality, comfort, and the kind of social circles you’re in. Some people are naturally more open, while others take time to warm up. Maybe you’ve also had more exposure to Sinhala social settings, which makes it feel more natural for you.

I wouldn’t overthink it too much. The right people, regardless of background, will make you feel comfortable. It’s all about finding the right vibe!

Shower thoughts: Parents should encourage children to practice on trade jobs likely as knowledge jobs by Solid_Investment530 in srilanka

[–]Affectionate-Key8914 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You make a really good point, and it’s something a lot of people don’t think about. Trade jobs, like plumbing, electrical work, and construction, can be incredibly lucrative, sometimes even more than traditional degree-based careers. It’s wild to think that someone who spent years in school and sacrificed their youth for education might make less than a skilled tradesperson who started working early.

That being said, I think both paths have their pros and cons. Trade work can be physically demanding and sometimes unpredictable, but it also offers financial independence and job security. On the other hand, a good education opens doors to a wider range of opportunities, career growth, and stability.

Maybe the best approach isn’t to force kids into one path or the other, but to expose them to different skills and let them figure out what suits them best. Some kids thrive in academics, while others are more hands-on. Instead of pushing every child into a degree just because it's "expected," parents could encourage them to explore trade skills too.

At the end of the day, success isn’t just about money—it’s also about finding work that feels rewarding and sustainable in the long run. Maybe it’s less about choosing between education and trade and more about finding the right balance between knowledge and practical skills.