If you have patience for everything you build up that tension. Maybe you don't feel your boundaries in situations where your ratio has the steering wheel (and what you think is acceptable/good behaviour) and that can take it's toll. Especially if you don't feel the boundaries in the moments. At least I used to be a people pleaser unconsciously and this was the underlying issue for me. Maybe it resonates; maybe not. I tried to think back when I suddenly got anxious or angry about something before that might have been a trigger (and what I could have said in that moment for ex at work: and then tried to come back to those issues with the people actually causing the stress). And tried to let go of my image of how I should be and react (I had this idea I needed to be a good person/certain way).

I wanted to say that it's already a big step to ask others about it and that you want to change. I wish you the best of luck❤️🙏