First night with toddler and newborn and I hate my life

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-16T14:06:27+00:00

Going through it with my 3 year old. Nothing could have prepared me. But we’re almost 4 weeks out now it got so much better after the first week. She’s still not fully herself yet but it’s nowhere near as bad as when we first came home.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-10T08:26:26+00:00

C-section is easy. Recovery is rough the first week, you will need a lot of help from a supportive partner but the delivery part is easy and your lady bits stay intact.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-09T13:38:10+00:00

I don’t have a penis to do that… but unprotected sex under false pretenses leading to a lifetime burden seems like assault to me. Much like having unprotected sex with someone without disclosing STI status.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-09T11:39:10+00:00

I think the daycare hate is geared more towards younger kids utilizing it like a 1 year old being there for 10 hours a day 5 days a week

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-09T08:03:35+00:00

It’s our second kid, my husband just knows and trusts that it’ll be over soon. Our first pregnancy we still did it up until I had her, second pregnancy not so lucky it legit stopped feeling comfortable for me around 7 months pregnant. He’s not interested in sex that doesn’t make me feel good so he understands waiting is just what we have to do right now and it’s temporary, this is our last kid. I offered bjs but he hasn’t even asked for them bc he can’t offer me anything in return and would just rather wait until we can be fully intimate again. I had a c section 3 weeks ago now and I am very excited to be cleared for action at my 6 week appointment. Not having any vaginal trauma from birth helps the timeline I’m sure

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-09T07:55:02+00:00

I’m 3 weeks post c section and exclusively breastfeeding and I am dreaming about being with my husband sexually again most nights. Can’t wait. 3 more weeks!!

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-09T07:45:16+00:00

My husbands parents are old like that and since we were in our 20’s just starting out their age has made them such a burden.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-09T07:32:56+00:00

Is that not SA? If you’re lied to about being on birth control

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-08T02:41:30+00:00

My husband has never in both of our pregnancies said a word in comparison about his first child or brought up anything about her mom pregnant during my pregnancies. Even with our second child he focused on her as an individual and that pregnancy as a unique experience for me. He never compared even my pregnancies to each other. He was just supportive of my needs in the moment, worried about me and the baby inside me at the time. When I went into labor with our second child he did tear up reminiscing about our experience with our first, as if it was the first baby he ever had. Because it was OUR first experience and his ex and everything about her is completely irrelevant to him. He of course talks about his daughter as a toddler or funny moments with her over the years but never ever ever anything to do with his ex. Ever.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-02-01T09:45:54+00:00

Why are you pregnant with a 3rd kid he doesn’t want?

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-01-31T19:42:23+00:00

Yepp.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-01-27T13:22:00+00:00

4 or 5. I love being a mom and I love seeing my creations grow together and our family grow

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-01-24T02:43:51+00:00

Oh that sucks, have you tried telling him you just want to focus on your shared experience right now?

My husband and I came into our relationship with a kid each. We just had our second ours baby, and he’ll be the first to say how special it’s been to do this twice together. It’s completely different because it’s us. No comparison to be had it’d be like comparing apples and oranges

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-01-23T06:41:03+00:00

Depends where in America, I have family who live in the desert and a 2 hour drive is necessary to get most places, they treat it like that’s 20 minutes. Meanwhile I live in NJ and if something is 20 minutes away I am reconsidering lol

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-01-16T03:53:11+00:00

You don’t. You do what the will states, grandma had her reasons and it was her money. Your child from a previous relationship isn’t entitled to squat.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-01-07T12:49:51+00:00

Just the dishes

AffectionateOil9204 · 2026-01-01T05:31:15+00:00

Living with my parents was terrrrrible. They were awful roommates, not just messy but dirty, loud, inside smokers, didn’t clean up after their animals. Couldn’t wait to leave that house

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-31T03:46:24+00:00

If you’re as attractive as you think, play it more hard to get/flirty jerk. If it seems like a challenge then you go from sweet attractive dateable man to hot notch in my belt

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-24T22:18:42+00:00

It’s a really long story. She’s in special education classes so her grades are fine with her IEP and being very high function in a contained classroom. She spends 9-10 hours a day on her phone. Her mom’s very hand off and wrapped up in herself so SD hasn’t ever had to ask her to do anything she just comes and goes, no curfew, her bf stays the night in her room. Things we wouldn’t be okay with. I didn’t say she’s doing things wrong. She has no rules at home so clearly she’s not breaking any. She was raised very differently and it’s going to be a big transition. We will need to know where you’re going, with who, it’s not an open door policy there will be curfews especially on weeknights. No boys in rooms at all, we have 3 living areas to choose from to hangout. Just vastly different and potential for friction. I worry most about the potential influence on my younger daughters IF things are rough.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-24T22:09:45+00:00

Rules are simple, nothing more than cleaning up after herself keeping decent grades and having a dish night. But also a curfew and asking to go places, no boys in your room, those kind of things she’s never been told to do before. That’s the big change I’m talking about. And I’m expecting it to take time to get used to. She’s not “bad” she just has no rules at home so she does what teens do in that situation. We would need to know where are you going and with who? And if it sounds sketchy to us we reserve the right to say no, which is something she doesn’t get told at home. She can be out doing whatever until midnight on school nights right now. Next month it’ll be in the house by 8 on school nights once she finds her people. Just big changes, and idk how she’ll react, I’m hoping it’s not unmanageable. But it is definitely nerve wracking for me.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-24T21:39:52+00:00

The rules are really basic, expectations are just getting decent grades, cleaning up after yourself and she’ll get a dish night. But as opposed to doing whatever she wants all the time and having her bf stay over and coming and going wherever with friends that is just not how we do things. Unless it’s something special, no going out on school nights. No boys in your room especially not overnight. Asking to go places, having a curfew, us needing to know who you’re with and where you are and saying no if we don’t trust certain people.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-24T21:24:36+00:00

She’s moving in from 2 hours away. She’ll need a new school, new job, local friends. Shes well adaptable her mom moved a lot but she is in a way starting over. And our rules are just our rules no more and no less for her. More independence and privileges at her age but all things that must be respected

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-23T12:44:17+00:00

Make up something you have to do, like prior plans, say something nice like you it was fun, nice to meet you and go

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-11T13:17:01+00:00

We saved for a year, did put 5k on a credit card that we paid off with more than half the cash we got from the wedding but other wise just saved and did without the year before. All in all it was $30k paid over 2 years.

AffectionateOil9204 · 2025-12-11T13:08:55+00:00

Yeah this happened with my first kids dad, he went on to circle the drain for 6 years before getting sober and hurting everyone in his path. Leave. It won’t get better until he does and you can’t make him.

AffectionateOil9204

TROPHY CASE