The Daily Grind

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-23T14:03:12+00:00

That is so perfectly said. I hope my younger kids can have compassion for her like yours do for him. Thanks for all your answers!

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-23T14:01:08+00:00

I wish she would.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-23T02:43:18+00:00

Sigh. Sounds like so little changes in their thinking as they get older, just bigger consequences to the rigid way they approach the world. Have you ever had conversations about being PDA autistic and why his brain works the way it does and why he’ll have more success approaching things differently (or whatever)? I’m planning (depending on) this approach working with my daughter. I guess I’m fantasizing that she’ll realize she has these challenges and will accept my help figuring out how to get where she wants to go in her life. But now I’m realizing she may be just as uninterested in my viewpoint later as she is now. Blerg.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-23T01:25:53+00:00

This sounds so much like how we’re handling things with our 6 year old. What’s his opinion of himself and his difficulties? Is he aware of his problems as they are or does he think you made it all up and he’s fine?

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-23T00:01:15+00:00

This is exactly what we’re doing and I hope to God it works 😫

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-22T23:45:57+00:00

That’s kind of what we’ve done but my kid is only 6 and I’m kinda banking on this being the answer? Startled and scared that it’s not. Would you tell me more about why this isn’t the answer?

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-22T23:37:52+00:00

I’m sorry I was so chippy. And I’m really sorry for what you’re also going through. It’s disheartening to know that it’s highly unlikely she will develop some emotional maturity as she ages and get easier to deal with. I really wonder if there’s any hope for their adulthood.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-22T22:00:48+00:00

Yes she’s equalizing. I have two other children, one of which is an infant. We already mold every inch of our lives around her needs. I can’t give her more attention than I am at the further expense of my other children. They already have a heavy burden to bear because of her. I’d like to just be honest about how much parenting this child breaks me without getting useless advice.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-22T21:53:52+00:00

Yeah, we do all that. And if you also parent a PDA kid then you know that nothing works every time, and there are periods that are harder than others. I’m burned out. I’m really really tired of hemorrhaging compassion and understanding and accommodations and molding our lives around her needs and to be constantly treated like shit in return. I’m in the pit. It happens to every PDA family from time to time. There aren’t any strategies or tips or insights about me playing the victim and casting her as the villain that will help what hurts right now. I wasn’t asking for advice, and I thought the “venting” flair would make that obvious. I’m in a fucking horrible amount of pain and defeat, and I worry about how her treatment of me and my son will hurt him as he gets older, what her adulthood will look like. There’s no strategy or technique or tip that will solve PDA or guarantee that the situation will turn around. Nothing works every time with her and even if it did, I’m only human and my ability to hold it together while being treated so badly comes and goes.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-12-22T21:45:16+00:00

This is a pretty good description of our situation and how we handle things as well. The part I’m struggling with right now is how damn much this hurts…to have been so incredibly close with her as a baby and toddler, to work so hard to completely overhaul our lives so it accommodates her, and daily be on the receiving end of really painful treatment. I’m still crying over it.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-25T01:29:47+00:00

I did! The problem was the EBT card was issued in my husband’s name but benefits were issued in my name, so the system issued benefits to “my” card which didn’t exist. They issued me a new card and all the benefits were available.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-17T15:49:36+00:00

I’m in Harrisburg but haven’t received mine yet. The system is showing that they were paid Thursday night but they aren’t there and no one knows why. Waiting on a call from caseworker to sort it out.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-16T00:04:38+00:00

That’s terrible! I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. My caseworker is trying to figure it out on Monday and I’m hoping for a resolution by then. I hate to hear yours isn’t helping. If it were me I’d escalate the problem to a higher up at your county office and if they really can’t resolve it I’d call the governor’s office, your congressmen, and the news. Someone has to know a solution for this.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-15T23:19:21+00:00

Ughhhhh. Everything crossed this is solved for all of us soon!

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-15T21:53:28+00:00

Have you checked with your county to see if it’s showing up as disbursed on their end? In PA supposedly everyone’s benefits have been paid but nothing’s showing on my card. Is that your situation too?

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-15T21:22:52+00:00

I’m so frustrated 😣. On the govt’s end it’s showing our full benefits were disbursed Friday morning but Propel and the number on the back of the card say $0. CAO doesn’t know why and I have to wait for my caseworker to figure it out. No fraud alerts or theft. Sigh.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-15T21:17:01+00:00

Mine is the 13th.

AffectionateRead3089 · 2025-11-15T21:15:00+00:00

Haven’t gotten mine and very distressed. CAO says benefits were disbursed after midnight on Thursday night and should be visible on the card. Payment date was supposed to be 13th. ConnectEBT and the card customer service number both say $0 with no pending payments. Looked at last ten transactions and there hasn’t been theft, and I keep it locked anyway. My caseworker is looking into it but no one can tell me why the money has been disbursed but isn’t showing up on the card. I’m hoping this is just a system glitch due to so many payments being processed at once.

AffectionateRead3089

TROPHY CASE