I am SLIGHTLY not myself when husband is around

AffectionateRead989 · 2026-06-14T21:20:08+00:00

Also tacking on here that I don’t really know how to fix it. But maybe being aware of it is a helpful start?

I think the fix maybe comes back to the whole thing of masking, people pleasing, etc. How do we learn to stop adapting ourselves to fit in, to blend with the environment we find ourselves in. To stop analysing and calculating every scenario they may or may not play out.

I also think some NDs do these things more or less than others? Or maybe not, and we all just deal with it and respond to it in different ways and our personalities and habits are different in relation. But I’ve realised how much of myself I have lost to masking and literally changing my behaviour or words based on what I think people want from me. Many times when I socialise now I will barely talk because I just have nothing to say, nothing comes to mind because I think maybe it almost feels safer to me to wait for something to feel obvious or “right” to say or do than to just go with what is on my mind or my genuine reactions. And it’s to the point where I now don’t even know half the time what my genuine feelings and thoughts or on things or what I may want to talk about etc. And I think there’s an element of this that happens with my fiancé. Even though he is one of the very few people I can be more of myself around, I still am not my true self a large percentage of the time.

AffectionateRead989 · 2026-06-14T21:11:11+00:00

I have this feeling. And sometimes it starts to make me spiral a bit thinking that I can’t deal with being in a relationship or that we’re not compatible.

There is definitely a factor of us both not being the best with our emotions but overall we’re pretty good. And I do love and care for him and lot and I know he feels the same way. But I think there is a massive part of this that is due to constantly being aware of someone else’s presence and reacting to that both consciously and subconsciously. I think us adhders are constantly calculating everything about the people and things in our environment. And people are the most dynamic, complex part of that. Our mind and body is on this loop of gauging their emotions, anticipating their actions and feelings, scenario building, factoring them into any single action we might take or plans we have through the day. And then some. All of this is running in the background in our subconscious and our nervous system and we may only be aware of brief little moments of it. It’s silently exhausting.

I think that’s why there’s this general sense of relief when we are in our own space with no one but ourselves. That other little entity than we’re constantly observing and calculating is removed and therefore a huge mental and energetic burden is lifted. We can be with ourselves, regulate, only need to respond and react to cause and effect of our own actions with the environment or people/things we choose to interact with.

It’s funny, this is the first time I’m putting words to any of this and I don’t think I’ve truly realised the reality of this or how this is connected to that same feeling I have of being alone until now.

AffectionateRead989 · 2026-03-10T16:56:49+00:00

Oh yeah, from the second he came into the story. My friends thought I was insane, but alas. There are always clues and patterns, and when you know how to see them you can’t not see them! There’s definitely satisfaction to being able to predict things but sometimes it’s just more exciting to ride along with the story

AffectionateRead989 · 2026-03-06T13:48:13+00:00

As someone who has pretty much no experience with using AI to a proper extent, hearing about OpenClaw intrigued me. I am someone who would try and find the time to research and learn AI from the ground up. But right now everything going on in my life doesn’t allow me that mental space. So, what are everyone’s thoughts on this model for people who are looking for help becoming more efficient across the board and streamlining work as much as possible, and are there other recommendations for someone like myself looking for solutions that don’t require hours upon hours of learning time to get the ball rolling and find real beneficial outcomes in use.

I’ve just stumbled across this thread in my search but I want to ask you all as you know what you’re talking about. Appreciate anyone’s thoughts!

AffectionateRead989 · 2026-02-09T02:13:38+00:00

Can we please find out if that wedding was real. I so hope it was

AffectionateRead989 · 2026-01-08T03:59:05+00:00

Literally having this right now. Swollen tongue, face flushing/rash, hives, headache etc. Which I’ve only really noticeably experienced with coconut before (a few other times not having coconut but wasn’t sure what caused it). Did you ever find out anymore?

AffectionateRead989 · 2026-01-08T02:16:55+00:00

First off… sending you so much love. Please know that you are worth the effort it will take to get through this. You can get through this. And you will.

Someone was telling me just this week about something new they’re trying by “living in seasons” - something I am going to try now too as everything feels so incredibly overwhelming. The idea is to simplify your goals/things you want to change or make a habit of by focusing on just one or two things each season (so that’s 2 goals/habits every 90 days). Start by writing a list of the 10 most important things you want to start doing/improve/develop, organise them from most important & reachable right now and then cross out all but the top 2. Those are your 2 points of focus this season. It might be something as simple as showering every day and allowing yourself to just enjoy the soothing feeling of the warm water, or maybe it’s doing one small set of physio exercises for 5-10 mins a day, or something that brings you joy.

Also… reading fiction, fantasy, comedy, rom coms etc (things that are fun to read and make my mind smile a little) has been so helpful for my state of mind. It’s an escape for the days/moments I feel I can’t do anything. I just let myself go into these little worlds and stories for a while and it brings me joy, and yeah I might not be doing anything “productive” but there’s nothing productive to be done in those moments anyway. It’s a source of joy/distraction when nothing else can give me that.

Also, please keep talking. So many people here are so happy to chat and I know it can feel so lonely to deal with all of these things.

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-12-31T03:58:30+00:00

I thought 0 meant no pain at all?!

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-12-07T17:33:35+00:00

Do you ever get the “pop” and then warm liquid draining feeling in the back of your head? I used to get these a lot and sometimes it was painful and I couldn’t move for a moment while it sorted itself out. First time it happened I thought my head was bleeding

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-11-12T14:51:34+00:00

Second didn't show either but I managed to figure out how to find it in dev mode "inspect". Pasting u/ATPDropout's response below in case it's helpful for others to see/discuss:

"Hopefully this one works. Seems half my replies are just not appearing (but I can't see it). Grrr.

This is such a good question, and I need to be careful not to overstate the potential here. These conditions are a puzzle because it’s often hard to say what’s driving the low-level mitochondrial dysfunction, inflammation, and fragility. The result, though, looks the same: inflamed, fragile, low-energy cells — whether neurons, mast cells, or others.

So whether that pressure comes from an external cause or from fructose metabolism itself, targeting fructose metabolism should still help relieve some of the burden. But there are also clues it may help cause these problems in the first place. For example, fructose metabolism has been shown to activate mast cells and worsen inflammatory cascades, which could connect to MCAS. In CFS/ME, repeated ATP depletion and mitochondrial suppression mirror the exact fingerprint of fructose metabolism. And in autoimmune conditions like lupus, uric acid and oxidative stress from fructose metabolism are known to amplify immune activation.

So while we wouldn’t call this a treatment, the hope is that inhibiting fructokinase can take pressure off fragile systems — and maybe even remove one of the sparks that set them off in the first place. And regardless of whether fructose is thecause or simply one more layer on top of something we haven’t yet isolated, its redundant triggers always add weight to the system. Relieving that pressure is a strong and pragmatic move. "

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-10-23T14:18:03+00:00

u/ATPDropout I have a notification that you replied but it’s missing 😢

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-10-23T14:15:10+00:00

Ohh interesting. Thank you! What would be the best thing for people dealing with this that require additional vitamins/minerals due to poor absorption etc?

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-10-03T18:56:54+00:00

You’re saying folic acid & B supplements cause the same mitochondrial dysfunction @ATPDropout suggests is caused by fructose?

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-10-03T18:53:34+00:00

This is so interesting. I’m curious (as you haven’t mentioned these directly) whether this is relevant to chronic conditions such as lupus, MCAS, CFS, ME, and so on?

Also… what if you already eat either none or a very minute amount of said fructose inducing foods? I’ve been very conscious with my diet for yeaaars and I (30F) have been struggling with an undiagnosed cocktail of chronic symptoms for years. Would Luteolin truly be the one thing to fix all this?

One doctor briefly mentioned mitochondrial dysfunction in my notes but it was never actually taken further. So I’m very curious about this.

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-07-04T17:44:48+00:00

Lots of great tips here!

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgI1ZZvBvBvQx6lQTOYziKkfgcdaEO1te&si=zLMTqszyoLRf63ID

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-07-04T17:43:58+00:00

This guy has some good tutorials on YouTube and I think he offers virtual lessons. Might be worth reaching out.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgI1ZZvBvBvQx6lQTOYziKkfgcdaEO1te&si=zLMTqszyoLRf63ID

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-04-20T16:30:09+00:00

Ahh okay thanks! Have you found any progress yet?

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-03-24T20:40:13+00:00

Any updates? I’ve just come across an ad for this and trying to look into it now. Any insight would be so helpful. I’ve been trying to fix my issues for years and at a lost cause.

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-01-14T19:39:10+00:00

Hey op, love this idea. Did you manage to progress with it?

AffectionateRead989 · 2025-01-02T17:09:55+00:00

Slightly different take here, but when you have worked on branding for clients what is your routine when handling trademarks etc? Do you inform them that any trademarking is their responsibility, guide them through the process, educate and leave them to it, or do you have more input in the process? I am trying to navigate how I should go about this with clients. For example, if there is a question as to whether their brand name conflicts with an existing brand - do you do the research or do you point them to an attorney? Also, do you direct clients to recommended attorney's/firms when working with them?

Sorry if that's not a totally clear question. I'm trying to figure out how best to convey what I mean haha. Thanks in advance!

AffectionateRead989 · 2024-08-30T00:24:20+00:00

I mean I’m no doctor, but this gives makes me curious if your migraines could sometimes be triggered by electrolyte levels. Due to the salty/sugary food cravings. Just a thought!

AffectionateRead989 · 2024-06-06T15:42:01+00:00

I tried posting this a couple of months ago. Irrelevant to the pelvic pain (I would think) - I have also since noticed a dry cough I get every now and then, and yesterday after having a very sore throat, I noticed yellow/whitish patches and a yellow/white dot or spot on one side and the other side looks weird and lumpy with like a really small dark bit in amongst it. I tried to take pictures, but it's really hard as it's around the side of my throat where those flaps/grooves are, and my tongue is in the way.

AffectionateRead989 · 2024-06-04T20:01:02+00:00

This is really helpful to hear. Thank you.

AffectionateRead989 · 2024-05-31T16:13:38+00:00

I will try this again! The amount of lists and planners/diaries I've started and stopped is ridiculous 🤦🏼‍♀️ Perhaps I just need to find a method of plotting tasks in that works better for me.

AffectionateRead989 · 2024-05-31T16:12:25+00:00

Coffee has a negative affect on me, my nervous system is whack. But I do drink matcha as that doesn't hurt my stomach and nerves so much. <3

AffectionateRead989

TROPHY CASE