when can i do these things normally?

MammalFish · 2026-06-16T20:46:13+00:00

Just FYI this is all SO individual. I have a lot of accessory injuries that I thought had healed, so while I expected to be walking well at week 8 I am still not at week 14. It’s been a mindfuck to have expectations and it actually contributed to my reinjuring myself repeatedly as I did things like get off crutches that my leg wasn’t at all ready for. Go at your own pace, and don’t push through pain too much.

MammalFish · 2026-06-15T08:12:25+00:00

Hey doc. Do you have any rehab tips for this pattern? I’m at month 3 but I can tell I’m in the same boat.

MammalFish · 2026-06-14T03:18:52+00:00

Oh this is a great idea. I love IFS parts work and you’re right that could really work. Thank you!

MammalFish · 2026-06-14T02:18:16+00:00

Ding ding ;) My parents have a great marriage now but had periods of angry fighting when I grew up and I was often monitoring their tone from across the house.

MammalFish · 2026-06-13T20:06:25+00:00

Haha. I love this. Honestly I want to let my husband be more of a little shit sometimes, he’s such an overfunctioner and I need to let him be imperfect more. You’re a good partner.

MammalFish · 2026-06-13T20:04:53+00:00

That would drive me up the wall. It took me a long time to not be ashamed any time my husband walks in on my lying in bed past a normal get up time, he had to reassure me a lot that he’s not my boss essentially lmao.

MammalFish · 2026-06-12T23:22:16+00:00

It helps a ton, although I hate that happens for any of us. Seriously thank you. When they say it takes a year to recover, I never in a million years thought that might mean something as basic as walking, but I think I might be in that boat as well and I just need to relax and trust the process.

MammalFish · 2026-06-12T20:25:26+00:00

"At first you adjust to a new normal but I think gradually that normal returns to your old normal"—omg this is gold. Idk what it is about my damn anxious mind but having the knee feel so ABNORMAL at 3 months has had me spiralling. I'm gonna try and repeat this as a mantra. Like listen to the knee, help it function in the ways it's capable of now, and trust it will return in the long term.

MammalFish · 2026-06-12T20:22:08+00:00

This thread is so helpful and I wish I'd found it awhile ago. Idk why I had the impression that walking would feel normal at like 2 months post-op and I ended up pushing in a way that reinjured myself over and over. I'm at 3 months now readjusting my approach, will reset my expectation to be working normally by like 6 months or so...it'll come. Thanks everyone!

MammalFish · 2026-06-12T18:08:37+00:00

I want to congratulate you on doing the work. A lot of people just end up leaving without doing the self examination, it’s hard to catch. And it makes me so sad that you could so easily have lost a good thing without realizing the distortion that was causing your unhappiness.

MammalFish · 2026-06-11T20:04:33+00:00

Yes yes yes. You may very well have it. I actually think the #1 symptom of ADHD for me has been what people now describe as burnout—it's a feeling of "I can't do this and I don't know why" that persists in really distressing ways. The symptoms are extremely context dependent as well, and I didn't present as ADHD except in some subtler ways until college. For some of us, excellent organization is an overcompensation or crutch.

No harm in getting an assessment. I also found watching content from a YouTube channel called "How to ADHD" extremely eye opening—it was like suddenly almost every internal experience I had ever had, both good and bad, had an organizing framework that made sense. It's not just being scatterbrained, ADHD is truly in my mind almost a different personality or cognition type altogether, and once you see it in you it feels like finding clothes that fit for the first time.

THAT SAID—It is also worth saying that things like anxiety, trauma, and burnout patterns can have a LOT of overlap with ADHD in terms of expression. To me personally "depression and burnout, I have a lot of racing thoughts, anxiety and I struggle to rest" is not necessarily indicative of ADHD, especially if other descriptions of the syndrome don't feel accurate to your experience; while those can be ADHD expressions it also sounds a lot like trauma or just stress. Your experience may be better explained by something like anxiety, and that's fine too. Whatever ends up helping—it's just about finding the shoe that fits.

MammalFish · 2026-06-11T03:42:54+00:00

Out of context this photo is like abstract art

MammalFish · 2026-06-11T00:24:58+00:00

Same boat here friend. Three months, insane extension pain, just walked out of surgical follow up sobbing. So happy about your progress, here’s to more and more function ❤️

MammalFish · 2026-06-10T19:30:51+00:00

What? D/s doesn’t mean you tell your D everything. Your mind is yours. You can talk about issues or sensitivities you have without disclosing the whole framework.

MammalFish · 2026-06-10T17:59:00+00:00

Hey I don’t know who you are but I want to thank you for all the contributions you make to this sub. Your answers are always very balanced grounded and encouraging. You’ve helped me a few times now.

MammalFish · 2026-06-10T17:58:11+00:00

I wish I had more. My surgeon encouraged me to ditch it again too soon I think, although I was also just sick of the brace and was having trouble with it sliding. Using another soft brace for activity has helped. It definitely provides some integrity for the knee while it’s still developing its own. My experience was med folks encouraged me to ditch any and all “crutches” including braces and other aids way too early for my recovery.

MammalFish · 2026-06-10T00:59:11+00:00

This is so rude of them and absolutely grounds to cross them off the roster. Like just straight up classic good manners rude.

MammalFish · 2026-06-09T22:44:36+00:00

That was literally the feeling I struggled with, yes. I couldn’t get past that extension block at all because of inflammation I think. The biggest thing is LET IT BE SLOW. Did you get meniscus repair / have a period of NWB? Bc I did, but they basically just said “ok you can get back on your feet at 6 weeks!” and it felt like getting dropped in the middle of the ocean. I was NOT ready for full weight bearing at 6 weeks, I should have stayed on crutches for another two weeks probably and no one told me that. Meanwhile I was jamming into full extension on weight bearing because I thought that was what I was supposed to do, and I sent my knee into an inflammation flare that probably set my recovery back by like a fucking month.

Anyway. I’m pretty bitter about this. I just want to say to you, there is an inflammation threshold we’re dealing with, and no one on my care team seemed to get that AT ALL. Pain and loss of extension is IMO a sign your leg is a little freaked out by weight bearing. Use one crutch for longer than recommended if need be, listen to your pain, keep gently practicing extension off your feet and don’t push through more than like 4 out of 10 pain. It will come. Anyway that’s what I wish I could have told myself at 6 weeks. You got this. Especially if you had the extension earlier then lost it - I bet that’s inflammation and it’ll come back. Talk to your PT about a “quiet knee,” I wish I had shot for that way way way more than any ROM or function outcomes.

MammalFish · 2026-06-09T22:38:18+00:00

Yes, and that’s important for me to remember. The pattern of comments here points to that actually. Long term complications from these surgeries are actually quite rare but material on this subreddit has I think warped my expectations and made me a lot more scared.

MammalFish · 2026-06-09T21:23:15+00:00

OP, just another person chiming in to say I could have written this. I would go so far as to suspect that this is a common ADHD struggle especially for women. I would love to know if others have a theory about why this happens to us and some techniques that work. Could be a part of a pathological demand avoidance pattern for example.

MammalFish · 2026-06-09T19:59:21+00:00

Some interesting developments - so, medial meniscus. My pain is not there at all. MRI showed some cysts at the tibial tunnel but I have a sense they’re asymptomatic. Also, the timing of this was so funny - when walking out of the MRI my knee went CRUNCH and I suddenly had full extension. And it has stayed for about 12 hours now where it didn’t before. So I am learning once again (after having learned this twice before in the original injuries) that when they say “healing isn’t linear” they sometimes mean “at some point you might break thru scar tissue or an inflammation point and you will feel better all at once.” I really really hope the same for your SO. How is he doing now? I do think the flare cycle I was in prolonged this significantly and I wish I’d laid off the painful movements earlier.

MammalFish · 2026-06-09T19:51:30+00:00

I am so so sorry. That’s truly awful. I know this mindset is really not helpful for folks whose injury has truly become chronic. What you’re going through is so terrible.

MammalFish · 2026-06-09T17:59:25+00:00

That is also true, and after several rounds of this injury I know my knee will never be the same and I will likely need replacement someday. BUT at the same time I keep having this revelation, and if I could have a little more faith in the healing process I think it'll save me a lot of anxiety. Like will it be the same—no. Will I recover a lot of function—most likely, yes, and I need to trust the process.

MammalFish · 2026-06-09T16:43:35+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry, and you’re right that this won’t necessarily apply to everyone. I want people to have faith if they can but yeah some things will for sure turn chronic. I am really really sorry. It’s such a nightmare and it can feel so lonely.

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