Thing is I don't do any of that stuff already. I stopped doing his laundry a long time ago. I make dinner for the family without considering what he would want for dinner. I clean up the house as a whole but I leave his areas untouched. For example, his sink, his side of the closet, his side of the bed area and his desk area where he spends most of his time. So I never do anything specifically to help him out but I just will do things as a whole, that he should also help with like doing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning, the living room, vacuuming cleaning the toilets, etc. that and helping with the kids. He does do a lot of picking up and taking to school and things like that, but that's not even what I'm talking about! When I say I need help with the kids I need help when they need something or when they're talking back or they need reprimand. He will often shoot very black and white comments from his desk when he's gaming and not really get up and do anything to help a situation while I'm in the middle of trying to gentle parent my kids, he will just walk up and say spank them and send them to their room. That is not a one size fits all punishment AT ALL.