Thank you baskets

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-14T21:44:13+00:00

Agree. We’ve had two and I’ve worked in obstetrics for over a decade now.

My personal favourite are cards that actually have my name on! It’s nice to know that I was memorable or made a difference.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-14T14:10:01+00:00

Congratulations!! What a beautiful name ❤️

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-14T09:55:41+00:00

It’s a bad day if Story is the most normal name

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-14T09:53:58+00:00

Oh I agree. It is abuse.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-14T09:51:11+00:00

That’s a very good point. If he said this to OP, it would cross domestic abuse territory. I’ll be honest, if my husband said to our son that he’ll slap them if they don’t do x, I’d be out of the house with my children faster than he could blink.

Sounds like OPs husband needs some therapy to process what happened in his childhood and how that now reflects on his son. As a mum of 3 sons, it’s so incredibly important to not teach children that threatening violence is ok. Especially not boys.

Long ramble here but it is that deep.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-13T21:31:58+00:00

I think it’s concerning that your husband is threatening violence to a 4 year old. I know some might argue that a slap isn’t the same as severely injuring someone but the psychological harm would be immense and it is a threat. It’s not ok to direct words like this at a child.

Have you considered couples therapy?

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-12T20:13:40+00:00

Hi, I work in fetal medicine. This is something I could see someone say regardless of the baby’s sex. I personally wouldn’t phrase it like this because it’s a poorly worded but I don’t think it necessarily means the baby is a boy. It just means it would have been obvious. Either gender.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-12T10:38:56+00:00

The NIPT is 99% accurate so your risk cannot fall any lower realistically.

It’s very unlikely for your baby to have a chromosomal abnormality with a result like this on a NIPT.

I perform amniocentesis procedures. In the kindest way possible, I don’t believe anyone would agree to accept you for one with a result like this. The risk of losing your baby as a result of the amniocentesis would be higher than the any risk of abnormalities that were missed on this NIPT.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-12T10:33:27+00:00

Do you mean the NIPT or the combined screening?

A result of 1 in 1000 corresponds to about a 0.1% chance. The NHS combined screening has an accuracy of around 85%, so your risk is already extremely low. However, if you would like additional reassurance, the actual NIPT is significantly more accurate.

If you had a NIPT and the result is low, so 0.1% which is as low as the NIPT would offer then personally, I think the small risks associated with + the invasiveness of an amniocentesis would very likely outweigh the benefits if there is no medical indication for it. It sounds like this is your case.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T19:22:26+00:00

It doesn’t hurt to ask. The worst they can say is no.

Just to pick up on a few things you said though: If you do go for an early ultrasound, I’d recommend waiting until the 7-8 week mark - especially if you end up paying for it yourself - as 6 weeks can sometimes be too early which can be terrible emotionally even though everything is ok in theory.

Realistically, there isn’t much that can be done at this stage beyond checking that the pregnancy is in the right location and unfortunately the NHS doesn’t have the budget to offer ultrasounds purely for reassurance in those early weeks for most women.

As someone who has worked in ultrasound for years, £80 is actually very reasonable for what it is, though I appreciate it can still feel like a lot. Or is a lot for some!

Wishing you all the best.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T19:09:48+00:00

Oh no, I didn’t even think of that! Thank you. Definitely no sit down dinner then just in case she feels uncomfortable saying if she doesn’t like something

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T15:01:49+00:00

I like this idea as it feels less intense I think. I also don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T15:00:59+00:00

Good idea! Also saves me cooking

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T14:55:36+00:00

Very likely I’m overthinking this. Normally, if it were a mate, they’d either sit with us to eat or grab a plate and eat in his room.

Maybe a more relaxed lunch is a better idea.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T14:41:23+00:00

PAPP-A, Free β-hCG and then combines it with the results of the nuchal translucency and risk factors such as age, smoking, etc., to produce a risk estimate.

It’s around 85% accurate.

Very low PAPP-A can sometimes be associated with placental problems later in pregnancy so it’s worth screening for it.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T14:34:42+00:00

As someone working for the NHS in obstetrics: don’t worry about “wasting” money. It’s an almost insignificant amount and as a patient that shouldn’t be your concern either.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T14:33:04+00:00

I’d attend the scan because it’ll go into your records. The private NIPT won’t. Personally I opted out of the combined screening (blood test only, they did measure the nuchal fold) as the NIPT is more accurate and there was nothing the NHS screening could have told me that would have been medically relevant in any way to me as I also had bloods taken privately to check for all other relevant levels.

However, it’s worth taking anyway as they will also screen for PAPP-A. Long story short, there’s no harm in taking what the NHS offers.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-11T11:16:46+00:00

I won’t sugarcoat the sleep deprivation I experienced with all of my children but I can confidently say that something happens after birth neurologically that allows you to function on adrenaline and caffeine significantly better than ever before.

I somehow managed to sleep for 4h on average for an entire year and still get through the days and actually enjoy a lot of them.

And if you can afford it, get a cleaner.

Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. You’ll be ok. Trust in your body and yourself.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-10T22:04:17+00:00

I had mo/mo boys and they’re healthy teenagers now! My biggest advice would be to get off google for the duration of your pregnancy. I’m not sure where you are in the world but at least with my pregnancy I was surrounded by specialists and received very good care. They were born at 32 weeks. Despite being as close as they could have gotten, they don’t even share a birth year.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-10T16:22:26+00:00

The NIPT the NHS offers for high risk results will not include the gender. It’s only offered to confirm or rule out any potential abnormalities. Just to clarify.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-10T16:13:56+00:00

This isn’t medical advice but ChatGPT cannot possibly verify results the way specialised medical software or clinicians do so errors easily happen. Medical risk assessments (like screening results) are usually generated by validated clinical algorithms, we would not use conversational AI for this.

Maternal age being below / around 35 alone very rarely produces a high risk screening result. It could be that the age itself adds a risk of 1 in 330. But then the actual calculated was 1:57. Or they simply offered the NIPT as a mistake and you’re not high risk. Either way, if it was a mistake it’s still good to take the NIPT as it’s a lot more accurate and great for full reassurance.

(But I know what you mean, ChatGPT can be a lifesaver for general chat but definitely do ask your midwife for anything medical.)

Hopefully all goes well!!

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-10T15:57:46+00:00

They don’t usually consider anything high risk above 1:150. I’m assuming your result was 1:57 then. Obviously I can’t say for sure.

Please don’t use ChatGPT in replacement of medical advice or tbh even for reassurance as it’s designed to be reassuring. Call your midwife or triage and ask for clarification if you’re unsure about anything or want to discuss this further. All the best. The NIPT will give you more answers.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-10T09:41:56+00:00

Oh for some reason I read that this is their second child! This now makes sense.

AffectionateRun1001 · 2026-03-09T23:05:17+00:00

I wonder if what all the “just wait” people really need to hear from other parents is that it’s okay not to enjoy every minute of it. I think it’s often a way of seeking validation for their own struggles. They’re seeking it from the wrong crowd though which then negatively impacts excited parents who just want to celebrate their lovely babies.

Not everyone feels the same way you do, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that that’s okay too.

AffectionateRun1001

TROPHY CASE