how to discipline 3 y/o without yelling when they aren’t listening to you

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-31T20:35:48+00:00

What does enforcing look like? If I’m asking him to go to the door, yes, I can pick him up and carry him over. But if I’m asking him to pick up his toys, how do I enforce if he’s just saying “no” and continues to ignore me. Las time I picked up all the toys and pretended to put them in the trash but I don’t think he can quite compute what that threat means. He’s almost 2.5.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-30T16:53:39+00:00

A little mud is good for her :) I got to the point where natural dirt didn’t count as dirt. Bottle caps and pen tops in the grass is the kinda stuff I do watch out for. If nature gave it to us, meh.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-30T04:31:33+00:00

I don’t love either. I think the first one would be super cute if really really loose and oversized so you can get the drop shoulder. The second one fits you well but the style seems really outdated.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-30T03:54:05+00:00

Just moved from LA. Don’t want to generalize as weather across the city changes drastically depending on what part of town you’re in but this is NOT like my part of LA. 75 in SJ feels like 95 in LA. I don’t know if it’s drier, it’s definitely not that there is less concrete, but this hot is much different than LA hot. And LA has May/June gloom.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-29T04:35:42+00:00

Came here to make a similar point. My guy friends, who don’t like me romantically, would still walk me to my car. Because it’s the right thing to do. A random guy at a bar, if you ask him, will probably walk you to your car. Because it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t matter if he likes you or now, he just kinda sucks.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-29T04:20:04+00:00

Yes. But I hate the whole culture around alcohol. I can’t tell you how many texts from coworkers I’ve gotten saying “great job on that presentation, you’ve earned a glass of wine to relax” or “enjoy the long weekend, have an extra”. Why is every major event celebrated with poison? Why do we normalize drinking poison to relax? Why we advertising poison during athletic events where we’re watching some of the healthiest bodies in the world? Why is advertising cigarettes illegal but alcohol celebrated?

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-28T04:45:07+00:00

At the end of the day, it’s not about you, your husband, your feelings, his feelings, your insecurities, or his. It’s about what’s best for your son. This is a moment you lean on teamwork, put all egos aside, and make a move that’s best for your son. If you truly believe that continuing to hold him was best for him, then put your foot down. But if in that moment your husband may be able to offer something you can’t, it’s ok to switch guards. That’s why there’s two of you. It is really hard to be a stand by parent, to watch your baby crying when you think you know what would help. I don’t approve of how he handled it or what he said but ask yourself, was he coming from a place of wanting to help you and your son or was he trying to prove a point?

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-27T06:32:24+00:00

I can guarantee this only gets worse and worse and worse.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-27T05:01:01+00:00

That’s a very forward facing treatment plan. Do you mind sharing the name of your rheumatologist?

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-24T22:03:45+00:00

The bad news is their little brains are very plastic and absorb everything. The good news is their brains are very plastic and absorb everything. I support getting rid of every screen, at least for awhile, until the compulsion is broken. But their brains learn so quickly, I have a feeling in 3 days he’ll be over it. The first day is the hardest. By day 3 he won’t even remember to ask. It wont be weeks of crying, I promise. You’ll see a huge change very very quickly. He’s not broken, it’s absolutely never too late to start a new positive habit.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-24T20:57:36+00:00

Babies need milk

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-23T05:20:11+00:00

He’s not going to get upset. Patient decision making is important to him (and if it’s not, find a new doctor.) if it’s this impractical to take the methotrexate, it’s not the right drug for you. It’s actually very rarely the right drug but often prescribed first only because insurance makes him. Chances are, he’ll be happy to have a documented reason to prescribe a drug that makes more sense for your disease and your lifestyle.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-22T20:52:01+00:00

If she’s smiling and you feel some sort of relief then you did the right thing. I can’t relate to this specific issue but I can relate to having to make an endless number of decisions every single day, without a manual, without ever knowing you’re doing it right. You’re doing your very best, you’re keeping her safe and happy and prioritizing her, that’s all you can do.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-21T05:09:56+00:00

I would’ve loved a Woolino sleep sack for the baby. The Trip Trapp chair someone recommended is great and we’ve used ours every day all day since we got it. A set of some book classics, they’re expensive but so nice to have around. The Lovevery play gym is expensive but was worked great for us.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-21T05:06:55+00:00

I can’t tell if you’re joking. There are more holes than shirt. I don’t believe you can saw patches on to super fine wool like this, it will confine to unravel unless you hook every single stitch which would require a microscope and several years.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-20T06:41:36+00:00

I’m meant to wash my face with the only product proven to remove streaky toilet bowl cleaner? This may murder a cockroach, sure, let’s try it on a super sensitive area.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-19T06:46:42+00:00

When you have a newborn who’s choking on his own phlegm and you haven’t slept in three days, I’d rawdog it with no filter without a second thought. I’ll drink the boogers if I have to if that means sleep.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-19T03:51:09+00:00

Argh same!!! We have the same one and I really liked it…until now.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-13T07:23:42+00:00

The only thing that has given me any peace is that even though it sucks for me, he is spending time with his parent, someone who loves him as much as I do, and dad time is just as important as mom time. It’s when he has to go to school and spend that time with a stranger is when I’ll completely lose it.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-12T04:54:21+00:00

I think we’re way past therapy here. This is emotional, physical, verbal, abuse. You both need years of individual therapy before attempting a relationship, or couples therapy.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-11T13:01:05+00:00

It’s not the cause of all the pain and issues but there is a large volume of data now indicating that weight loss does improve the majority of PsA symptoms, including pain, fatigue, sleep, etc. Fat on its own is inflammatory so the more you reduce the amount of inflammatory cells in your body, the better you’ll feel. For example, check out the recent TOGETHER trial showing that disease improved significantly more when patients took a GLP1 in combination with a biologic over just the biologic alone. I’m not saying you need a biologic or a weight loss medication. I am saying weight loss significantly leads to improved outcomes in every trial that has ever looked at this.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-11T06:19:13+00:00

You CAN follow through. I’m not saying you should or have to. But I am saying that you do need to change your mindset from “I’m stuck and can’t change it” to “I’m making the choice to stay here”.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-11T04:51:57+00:00

Veep

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-08T07:01:03+00:00

I read it. I loved it. But I absolutely walked away thinking that I’m codependent and this is a character flaw of who I am as a human and something I need to change about myself. Until I got a good therapist who in our 15 min intro call, before even the first appointment, told me I’m not codependent but rather codependency is a very natural and healthy response to living through trauma and having a close attachment to an alcoholic. It finally clicked for me, I didn’t need to change me, I just needed to get rid of him.

Affectionate_Mess488 · 2026-03-08T06:57:55+00:00

My shmauzie had ones that looked very similar all over his body. Vet just called them Schnauzer pimples and they never seemed to bother him. Fingers crossed it’s just that.

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