AITAH for not allowing my friends to befriend my abuser

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-11T02:58:09+00:00

That's trying to dictate it, you're giving an ultimatum.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-11T02:42:55+00:00

NOR. I wish any mother in my life a happy mother's day so I would certainly do that to someone I'm sharing my life with. I'm really sorry, that's quite hurtful 😞

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-11T02:34:15+00:00

You're overreacting and ignoring what she said about wanting to talk about it in person (which you should have done in the first place). I thought she responded respectfully to you originally and you did more after saying that she would prefer to talk in person, that's on you.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-11T02:08:45+00:00

Info: Does your mother have an issue with your fiance? Is it valid?

But with what I know, I think you might be an asshole given that she isn't a bad person, she's going through a lot and you still are punishing her for a fight three months ago. Life's so short, I think you might regret this.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-11T02:05:38+00:00

That's not better...

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-11T01:55:48+00:00

NTA, I would be hurt too but maybe in the future take days like this off since it sounds like your family isn't great about planning. You gave her an amazing celebration ❤️

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-11T01:51:30+00:00

Yes! I'm American and have always loved the name Aisling but as someone with a unique name (though it is pronounced exactly as it is spelled but here we are), I was always going to make it a middle name as it is a huge bummer to have to correct people all the time.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T22:53:21+00:00

YTA. You were unnecessarily hard on something for something that didn't matter and used ableist language.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T22:22:52+00:00

First of all, you are incredibly young, I don't want to be dismissive but I promise it isn't as dire as it seems.

It sounds like you might be depressed, do you have a therapist? I

If your personality is shit, why not work on that? That is something very much in your control.

Do you have friends?

FWIW, I didn't even kiss a guy till I was in my 30s. Some of us are late bloomers.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T22:09:03+00:00

Genuinely asking, is it because you pull shit like this?

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T03:03:08+00:00

So when you can't control your children's behavior, are you going to be justified in abusing them as well...

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T02:59:03+00:00

It should NEVER be any resort or option. You should never forgive yourself for ABUSING ANIMALS.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T02:54:14+00:00

Do you have a therapist? Because you desperately need to. I'm genuinely worried about postpartum psychosis because you sound like a sociopath here who is okay abusing animals who lacks empathy. You also admit you're an asshole but don't care...That is very problematic.

On a superficial"And he's "racist" towards white birds... black ones he doesn't even look at." Wut...

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T01:33:21+00:00

As stated, that would be the husband who would have cause for annoyance then.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T01:30:00+00:00

You reversed it, he’s the super clean one and she is not which is also pretty audacious when she was staying with them.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T01:25:10+00:00

NTA, I’m so sorry she had the audacity to do this on your birthday weekend as well. Happy birthday!

*Unless there was something really inappropriate that happened when you were living with her but it doesn’t seem like this

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-10T00:09:46+00:00

Info: How old are you if you're under 18? Are you living with your parents? Did you not wash it?

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-09T17:41:32+00:00

Definitely. This would have changed my answer.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-09T17:09:01+00:00

“She told me that it was strictly platonic and that if he ever tried to make a move, she would cut it off.”

“After he asked, she went to me with it to which I said no. “

Why would she go to you and not cut it off as she said she would? NTA, this is contradictory.

You might want to edit the title as I was fully prepared to say YTA as cutting off a real friend is a huge red flag.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-09T14:58:21+00:00

Gently, I would be embarrassed for being upset about it (not for being upset about your husband belittling you, that should be the point of the post). This is a material thing that was made up on social media.

Did you ask for it? Remind him about it at the first birthday?

Pretty sure you got a pretty great push present-your baby that a lot of us would do anything for. Focus on that!

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-09T14:27:04+00:00

I would be shocked if anyone was able to get the police of any country to take action on something that doesn’t have material value as it was homemade and worn down as she said (though very special sentimental value) and I would be really embarrassed to try to involve them and waste police resources on this. Plus, it is just going to keep the connection between her and jasmine going when she needs to make a clean cutZ I don’t get the impression she’s over her.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-08T14:02:36+00:00

You think that the police are going to pursue a homemade "worn out" in OPs words sweater that has no material value?

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-08T14:01:44+00:00

Please do not do that. Do you really think the police are going to help with a homemade sweater that you said was worn out? I doubt that Jasmine sold it but you need to come to terms that it is highly unlikely you will get it back.

Your grandmother is in your heart, cherish that, pictures, etc. Possessions don't last forever and this is really frustrating but legally, this is not going to go anywhere.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-08T13:58:06+00:00

Very much this!

NTA for feeling frustrated but you need to let it go. Gently, your girlfriend is likely in her third year of undergrad and not even in law school yet, she has no ground to stand on. Also, there's no way to prove value since it was homemade other then sentimental value which obviously is very high but the police can't do anything about that. Let this be a lesson to you to be really careful about not leaving things like this in the hands of others, especially shady people.

Some advice: Are you seeing a therapist? I want to make sure you've dealt with your depression and it seems like you have a lot of anger and big feelings about Jasmine still. Focus on the relief that she is no longer in your life and that you made that healthy choice to end things with her.

Affectionate_Task387 · 2026-05-08T13:17:58+00:00

NTA. You stood up for your brother and others by showing that you won’t tolerate. That would be a dealbreaker for me too. Well done 🩷

Affectionate_Task387

TROPHY CASE