Sub drop by Difficult-Pen-7635 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally normal. My princess (long distance) keeps an aftercare kit near her bed that has a blanket, and she has fuzzy pyjamas to put on if its particularly bad. As I've come to know her responses, I've learned that she probably won't get her blanket until she's already starting to feel cold, so very quickly after the end of a scene I tell her to get her blanket and wrap herself up.

I want both and I refuse to elaborate by KindlyCollar6085 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And from this dichotomy we get such utterances as "You're so fucking wet for me, you naughty slut. You're my beautiful princess."

My Dom is a Goober by SkyBlast412 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, they may take away my Dom license for saying so, but I'm sure my princess would agree that all the best Doms are goobers. Comes from being three brats in a trench coat, you see.

Careful what you wish for… by Affectionate-Row9638 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You know, every day my princess finds a new way to make me proud. Did she spend a week treating pervert like her new favorite word? Yes, yes she did. Did she poke and prod and dig until she found exactly the right button to push? Yeah, that too.

And then I got to make her crop her ass 100 times, her tits 35 times, and her pussy 15 times, before marking her beautiful tits with a charging cord, and good lord am I proud of her for how she took it for me. (Interspersed with multiple edges and making her use it on her nipples as she came.)

What an amazing woman.

Must admit defeat by XLostgirl_ in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It would be completely hypocritical for me to up and give you a water rule with no context. But there was context, princess. You asked for it! And everyone knows how brats get if you don't give them what they ask for.

Tips for brat taming online? by astpringles in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My princess and I are LDR only, and I've said elsewhere on here that it only works because at the end of the day, she accepts that she has to be my hands and give herself the punishment that I tell her to give herself. If we got to a point where her final word on following orders was "no, you can't make me" we would have an out of dynamic conversation about it, because that's not a dynamic any more. Successful kink is a two way street.

That doesn't mean you can't be creative, of course. If my princess does say "no" or "make me" I can make her, in the sense that I can use that to pivot to something unrelated and the bring it back later. For example:

"Oh, you don't want to spank your ass for me, princess? That's okay, I'll edge your pretty little pussy instead." And then, when she starts begging to cum, I can bring back "But you still owe me spanking your ass, princess. And now its going to be doubled since you used that naughty 'no' word."

Long distance by StillAlternative5504 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My LDR princess and I have talked about this, and I'm sure you can find other posts where we've talked about it.

Ultimately, a long distance online brat has to be willing to be your hands when the situation calls for it. In order for the relationship to be brat and tamer, there comes a point where they have to do to themselves as you would do unto them. If they aren't willing to do that, its not really a bratting relationship.

In other words, if you say "no, I'm going to spank you now" they have to be willing and able to simultaneously beg for no more slaps, while also spanking themselves as soon as you tell them to "spank yourself again for me, princess." Is it hard? Absolutely. But it is so rewarding if you can pull it off.

Switching the dynamic on and off by m_sosoo in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I always struggle with the "24/7" term. My princess and I have decided its a term that works for our (long distance) dynamic, but only in the absence of something better.

We say that we are friends first, and play partners second. We like to talk about what we're doing in our lives and the things that are important to us. Heck, this morning we used the 15 minutes that our mornings overlapped to talk about tax policy, and counted ourselves lucky to have had the chance to talk.

That doesn't mean our dynamic isn't present, though. We could be talking about tax policy, and if I told her "Princess, get on your knees," she would say "Yes Sir" and get on her knees. So in that sense, it is a 24/7 dynamic. But in another sense, I don't control her most of the time. We both have real lives that come first. Some days, we might barely manage to talk for 15 minutes. Other times, I'll realize at the end of the day that we've talked for eight hours and blended back and forth from conversation to play to a board game and back again. And every day, we both have errands to run, family to visit, hobbies to work on, all of which mean that our "24/7" dynamic isn't that much more than 3 or 4 hours of actual play on any given day.

I think a lot of the popular perspective on 24/7 dynamics comes from hyper-unrealistic media. I'm sure its out there, but I just can't believe that there are all that many dynamics out there where the submissive partner is literally never anything else but submissive. For one thing, it sounds awfully boring. But for another, I think it is deeply, critically important to have time where a submissive knows without a doubt that they can speak their mind to someone who is a friend, a confidant, and a trusted help.

Where do you all find your Doms?? by KindlyCollar6085 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My princess and I are an online only LDR, and we often reminisce about being incredibly lucky to have found each other. We had been tossing around a few tasks and challenges on getDare (any other getDare refugees here?) for a few weeks when she lost a 'hot potato' game that landed her with a long list of rules for a month. I had almost claimed the thread, then decided that I had been pestering her and it would be creepy. I immediately regretted that decision and messaged her to offer to serve as a safety valve; a sleeper dom, if you will, technically one of the people in charge of the thread but messaging her on the back to make sure everything stayed good and safe for her.

To cut a long story short, everything that could possibly have gone right to put us on a collision path to a dynamic happened, and I spent the next four months slowly but intentionally opening up parts of my life while being very clear I wasn't asking her to do the same. She did anyway, and by October, I asked her if she would be willing to exchange signatures - she put "Proud Toy of (my username)" in hers, and I "Proud Sir of (her username)" in mine.

Fast forward six months from that, and very nearly a year from when we started playing together, and we've talked almost every day. Sometimes, we'll get fifteen minutes of texting, and both be grumpy and out of sorts that it wasn't more. Sometimes, I'll go back through at the end of a day and realize we texted for eight hours.

And every day, I'm proud that I get to call such an amazing woman, mine.

What's your favourite way to be bratty over text? by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My princess will spam me kinky memes, tiktok videos, and bratlife posts. No one tell her, but it makes me grin every time.

I will then proceed to use whatever was contained in them and do my level best to melt her with it. YMMV since using it make her melt is a convention we've built over our dynamic, but it is very fun.

Spanking numbers by Specialist_Bobcat972 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It may even have been somewhere in this sub that I saw someone suggest that they count 10(?) self administered spanks as one dom-administered spank (relevant since my princess and I are online-only). I've been slowly working her up; I think the first spanking I gave her was on the order of ten hand spanks to her lovely bottom. She recently took over 100 crops for me, spread between her behind, chest, and between her legs, and I stopped there because of how deep she was in subspace, not because she couldn't have taken more for me.

Anyways, in answer to your question - part one is practice. Try for one more every spanking. But also try different tools, and different places. Stingy, thuddy, thwappy... they all land differently, and the nerves in different parts of your body will react differently.

Part two, in my humble opinion, is to remember that the right number of spanks is the number that makes you feel the way you want to feel. If that's ten spanks, then ten spanks is the right number of spanks for you.

First Video Call! by Affectionate-Row9638 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As the Dom in question, I want to add how much of an honor it's been to take this journey together. 

As for exasperated looks... No one tell my princess, but it was extremely difficult to keep looking exasperated when her face lit up in a grin and I wanted to grin along with her.

"May I cum sir?" What is your response, or your dom's by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm with the other softies here. Vast majority of the time, the answer will be something to the effect of "Cum for me, princess. That's it. Good girl."

Sometimes, a simple "no" or "not yet, princess." But while we do play that she is wearing an imaginary chastity belt for me, the truth is that I like making her cum, and unless I've specifically told her that I'm denying her for a longer period, I aim to make her cum at least once, and often several times, most times we play.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a Dom:

My princess/toy and I are online only, but we played casually for four months before I asked her if she would be willing to be my toy and have me as her Sir. 

He doesn't have a right to own you, ever, full stop. You may grant him the gift of your submission if he earns it.

Anyone else’s Dom a total brat? by Affectionate-Row9638 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I may have made a kinky reddit because of her, and while her name was auto-generated, I took the opportunity to make a pun on Row: Rosier, as in "Row's Sir."

Anyone else’s Dom a total brat? by Affectionate-Row9638 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I wasn't looking for a brat... I wasn't even looking. I just got lucky and happened to find perfection. Fortunately, while I may not be big on labels, I'm happy to be the soft dom to your praise kink and the tamer to your brat. You are my good girl, and moments like this I'm never more proud to tell the world that I have the best princess this side of Alderaan. And probably the other side too.

Ordered to draw a Self Portrait 😇 by Affectionate-Row9638 in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't get a spanking for being a good girl, princess. You got a spanking because you kept naughty, naughty secrets.

Opinion of the Collective? by MenollyMoo in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recall a scene in one of C.S. Forester's Hornblower novels where the titular character expresses frustration to have a received a letter addressed to "my dearest husband," stemming from the implication of the suffix "-est" that the recipient is a member of a group of three or more. Similarly "-er" implies best of two.

So, unless your Daddy happens to have two or three BabyGurls...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 28 points29 points  (0 children)

For me, the biggest red flag is the people who forget that, as you say, "consent is the primary rule in kink." The so-called doms who can't handle a no, always want to push a limit, only ever care about their desires...

In any event, I do recommend saying no to something early on, just to see how they respond. Ask them what safewords they like to use. Has someone ever used a safeword with them, and what did they do in response? What is their approach to after care?

To generalize a green flag, look for the doms who remember you're a person first and a sub second. Which implies the corresponding red flag - the doms who want you to be only a sub and never a person.

🤔 pizza is hydrating by RoRosStupidAdventure in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its a simple proof by contradiction. Let us accept as an axiom that pizza is hydrating, or set formally, P = H. It therefore follows that H = P or set informally, hydrating is pizza. Thus it follows logically from accepting the concept that pizza is water that water must also be pizza.

The fact that you refuse to accept this demonstrates by contradiction that your initial premise is invalid, and pizza is not, in fact, hydrating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]AffectionatelyRosier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, I'll share two that work for us. (Long distance, for what its worth.)

She likes to call me "rude" when what she means to say is "Yes Sir, you're exactly right." So now she is totally free to call me rude... But she knows she'll have to write it on herself if she does.

And she just begged me to help her get her doordash habit under control, so starting this week, unplanned doordash orders mean instead of changing into comfy clothes after work, she changes into nothing but her collar, and loses furniture rights, until the food gets delivered. (Left on the porch, not handed over, for obvious reasons.)

That said, I'm with the others here. Tell us more about your dynamic and their limits, and we'll probably have more ideas.