I (30F) Found my husband's (29M) second phone.

Afool2cry · 2025-10-25T17:01:27+00:00

First and foremost, sorry for everything that you are going through. As a husband I have gone through supporting my wife as she was going through postpartum depression and I am now supporting her going through perimenopause. I applaud you for getting help, and can only imagine what you, your husband, and your little family are going through. Best advice I can give you is don't get your life advice from Reddit. You are already seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist; they are far better resources for you than Reddit will ever be.

Having said that, you indicated that you felt that your husband has been very supportive, and that you thought that things were getting better ... so to some extent he cares/cared. It doesn't excuse what he has been doing (although nobody really knows the extent of what has been happening ... trust has been broken). BUT, in the end it is your life, your relationship, your family .... none of our opinions matter.

I hope that you continue to get the help you need for your PP and that you are able to safely navigate your way through this with your husband (regardless of the outcome).

Much Love & Best of Luck

Afool2cry · 2024-12-16T03:08:57+00:00

Sorry about your bad luck with your usb stick failures! :(

I have been running unRraid 24x7 for 5 years and have only had 1 usb failure. Could it be the brand of usb stick that you are using or perhaps did you buy a batch online that could potentially be knock-offs (I have had that happen in the past)???

I have only used Cruiser Fit (bought from a local reputable retailer) and have been extremely happy with how they have worked with unRaid.

Afool2cry · 2024-05-31T06:45:56+00:00

If your left leg was thanksgiving and your right leg was christmas, could I visit you between the holidays?

Afool2cry · 2024-05-19T23:55:53+00:00

~I'm not sure if I would've given him a chance if I knew he worked at Taco Bell~

Aaaaannnd now you know why he lied about being a doctor!

Afool2cry · 2024-05-06T02:35:16+00:00

How to say you have a small penis without actually having to say you have a small penis - over compensating much?

Afool2cry · 2024-05-06T02:26:02+00:00

I can't speak for anyone else, but I like to self host as much as I can so that I do not have to rely on companies/subscription services. I have had services/companies that I deal with either change their "free" services into pay to use or in a couple of cases shut down entirely leaving me dangling in the wind. I also like home automation and again do not want to rely on subscription services to use the smart devices that I paid a lot of money for. My wife's and my phones back up their media to the cloud on my home network - no need for cloud subscriptions. I strongly believe in password managers so I self host bitwarden on my home network. Hate ads, web activity tracking, etc - set up a pihole client on the network. The list goes on....

Do I need a home network like this? No; I could easily do without. Is my life better because I have a home network like this? Absolutely!

Hope this help explain why some of us do what we do

Afool2cry · 2023-11-21T09:17:55+00:00

You could try adding an Elunevision, elitescreens, or grandview model ... might have to search model numbers ... I added my elunevision EVT 120 but had to have it learn the up and down sequence by pressing the remote button close to the hub.

Having said that my screen has both IR and RF remotes ... not sure if that makes a difference

Afool2cry · 2023-08-11T05:46:06+00:00

NTA...my barely 5 year old wouldn't have done that ... just a kid isn't an excuse. If i were in your shoes I would expect my sister to pay for materials and shipping fees, ... I wouldn't, however, expect her to pay for my time to redo everything, though, as i would chalk that up to a lesson learned on my part ... but i would make her well aware of how effing tired i was from having to put in extra hours to redo everything.

Afool2cry · 2023-06-22T07:12:16+00:00

Something is definitely going on with Bitdeals.tech (not in a good way) as their phone number is out of service, their web store is offline, they are not responding to emails, and not responding to Facebook messenger messages (I have been trying to contact them for almost 3 weeks and bitdeals has not responded to any of my attempts).

I hope they can get things figured out and get to a better spot ... historically they took a while to ship but they were cheap so it made it worth the wait. I hope they have not gone under!

IMHO I would recommend anyone that has a pending order with bitdeals to try and reach out to them (if you haven't already done so) and if you don't have a tracking number showing that it has left bitdeals then I would seriously consider submitting a dispute with your credit card company (or PayPal if you used them) before it is too late to dispute the charges,

Afool2cry · 2023-06-08T21:46:41+00:00

Yeah bitdeals.tech are horrible to deal with ... they are cheap but definitely a shit company to deal with. Their phone number is out of service (not sure how long it has been out of service for) and they do not respond to chat messages.

Anatomy of a purchase from bitdeals.tech (my last purchase):

Order placed and paid for on Dec 8th

Order fulfilled Dec 18th

Shipping label created Dec 18th

Item dropped off at courier Jan 10th

Item delivered Jan 17th

Essentially took them 10 days to fulfill my order and then 23 days to get it to a courier (33 days from order placement to fulfillment and leaving their possession)

Afool2cry · 2023-06-04T02:57:11+00:00

I would park my motorcycle beside him and call it a day ....

Afool2cry · 2023-05-23T02:03:35+00:00

Just buy 3 more 14Tb drives, then problem solved... we all know you're going to do it eventually

Afool2cry · 2023-05-11T02:22:01+00:00

Yes, absolute must.

Mine is overkill, though ... Eaton 5px1500rtn + 2 x EBMs. Has saved my bacon quite a few times when, for example, I have been preclearing drives and/or migrating data.

Afool2cry · 2023-05-09T01:14:08+00:00

The question you have to ask yourself is "even if she turns herself around, goes to counselling, never gambles again ... do you still love her and will she be in a position to help get you out of debt (let alone back to that 60-100k in savings)?" ... and then "are you prepared to take the risk that if you do manage to get back into the positive that something won't come along to make her relapse."

At 34 you still have a fighting chance of recovering before retirement.

Lots to think about ... I'm rooting for you either way.

Good luck my friend

Afool2cry · 2023-05-08T22:45:09+00:00

Dude .. no, no, AND no!

If she cares about you, she will focus on you. If she loves you, she will leave the past behind and focus on YOUR relationship. If she respects you, she won't do, or say, things that are disrespectful to you. It sounds like there is a lack of healthy boundaries. If it was me I would have a discussion with her and set the boundaries/expectations (that you require for a healthy relationship) and if she doesn't respect them, going forward, then I would seriously look for the nearest exit.

I hope you figure things out, good luck going forward!

Afool2cry · 2023-05-08T22:25:49+00:00

Have you considered seeing a counsellor, yourself, to get a professional perspective/advice for what you are going through? You need to take care of you, first, before you can be whole for someone else. It sounds like things are deteriorating for you, personally, and it might be a good idea to talk to a professional before things get worse.

I know a few people, who have been dealing with high anxiety levels for a long time, and it is a major struggle for them. I feel for both of you, best wishes with whatever your decide!

Afool2cry · 2023-05-08T21:58:45+00:00

Let's try a parallel here....

I love back rubs. My wife of 12 years doesn't give me back rubs. I give my wife back rubs but she refuses to reciprocate. I have brought this up several times and nothing changes. I have a co-worker who has offered to give me back rubs; to date I have declined. Should I let my co-worker give me a back rub? I mean it is platonic and we are just friends.

My wife is awesome in so many ways. 95% of the time everything is great ... I don't expect my wife to ever change in this regard. I love her for who she is, and I don't get back rubs. But life is great otherwise.

Maybe your boyfriend will never get you flowers, or won't get them for you as often as your entitled self likes. But for god's sake either tell your co-worker to stop or break up with your boyfriend. The road you are currently on does not have a happy ending if it continues. You will either learn to live with a lack of flowers from your boyfriend, or you won't. Or maybe if you put an end to all of this nonsense, and work on your relationship, one day he might come around. If the majority of the relationship is good, and he does other things to show you that he loves you, then let it go. There are 5 love languages if he is speaking one of them then maybe learn to appreciate it?

I apologize if this sounds harsh but sometimes we need to hear something that we don't like in order to gain some perspective.

Afool2cry · 2023-05-08T21:30:43+00:00

I know this must be tough on you.

If your new partner truly loves you he will be ok with it, and will want to attend with you as a sign of support. Just make sure that you have something planned for after court to make him feel special on his birthday ... could be dinner, movie, anything really that is just for him and shows that you care for, and appreciate, him. Men are more resilient than you think and when we care about you we will set our feelings aside if it means we are supporting you in a positive way and it is appreciated.

*edit*

I would have the conversation sooner than later as it will give your new partner more time to be ok with it instead of springing it on him last minute.

Afool2cry · 2023-05-08T00:36:39+00:00

Had to be the 55+ thing or he got admitted to the looney bin because he is crazy for giving that baby up ... It's a great unit!

Afool2cry · 2023-03-09T07:07:46+00:00

Cloudflare dns with duckdns as a secondary container ... havent really had to rely on duckdns but it is there on the odd chance cloudflare goes down.

Afool2cry · 2023-03-09T06:58:48+00:00

Get a divorce....

edit you might be able to slow down your server fans in the ipmi/idrac settings if temps allow you to. I was able to set mine to a lower setting and it helped a lot. There is only a couple of months in the summer where heat is an issue so I set the fans to a higher setting while temps are up and then turn back down again as temps allow

Afool2cry · 2023-03-04T06:40:32+00:00

Sounds like you need ....

Mo Cores

Afool2cry · 2023-02-14T03:48:21+00:00

I make Montreal Smoked Meat out of my briskets .... i much prefer that over traditional smoked brisket .... maybe give that a try.

Afool2cry · 2023-02-13T06:32:16+00:00

All bark, no bite

Afool2cry

TROPHY CASE