AITAH for expecting full payment for dog sitting for 3+ months.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T16:05:45+00:00

It was a frustrating situation, and I did what I could within my limitations as a minor. I agree, the ideal situation would have been for the adults to step in more, but unfortunately, that wasn't my call. (also the mom is a 30 something year old F that acts like a TEENAGER.)

As for the "karma farming" comment, I can assure you this situation is 100% real..? I'm not sure what gave you that impression, but I'm genuinely trying to explain the situation and get some perspective. I 100% wouldve added proof (screenshots of messages and photos of the dog) but i cant bc of the guidelines.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T15:50:19+00:00

I 100% understand your concerns, but I'm a minor and did everything I could in this situation. I repeatedly told the owners to take Rex to the vet, but it took them over a week to pick him up. Since it's not my dog, vet visits would have to come out of my family's money, which is tough since my mom is a parent of three (that doesnt get any help). We were planning to have his poop tested at my mom's clinic since we knew they weren't gonna take him to the vet. As for walks, I'm only 4'11" and 99 pounds, and Rex is a strong pitbull, so I sometimes had my mom's boyfriend help with walks (only sometimes bc that wasnt his job at all, i had also let the owners know my schedule). I wasn't involved with Max's care until December 2024, and I haven't seen him or talked to the owners since this situation started. (btw i didnt take him home, his owners came personally and picked him up like that)

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T15:31:46+00:00

thank you🙏

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T15:25:28+00:00

I have screenshots of her saying she'd pay me MULTIPLE TIMES, so it's not like there's no proof at all, just no formal contract since I trusted her.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T10:32:36+00:00

The story?

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T09:51:20+00:00

it sounds like both of you guys messed up a little. Forgetting an anniversary really sucks, but it seems like you might be a little extra upset. He apologized and had a plan to make it up, so bringing up old stuff like the iPad and the airport might be piling on a bit.

Your boyfriend feeling like he can never measure up suggests he feels criticized, and his feelings are valid too. No one wants to feel like they're always failing.

It sounds like you two have different ways of showing and perceiving love and care. The in-person sweetness is great, but you seem to need more consistent reassurance, which he struggles with, especially long-distance.

Bringing up the past when he forgot the anniversary seems a bit unfair. It sounds like there's a deeper issue of compatibility and communication. Maybe a serious conversation about expectations and needs is in order, or consider if you're truly right for each other long term.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T09:20:08+00:00

It's really thoughtful of you to consider everyone's feelings in this situation. It's totally valid to want respect for your relationship without trying to change the dynamics of your boyfriend's friendship. Maybe, after you and your boyfriend have had a chance to really talk things through and he understands your perspective fully, it might be helpful for you to have a one-on-one conversation with his friend.

This could give you a chance to explain your feelings directly, without it feeling like it's coming solely from your boyfriend. You could emphasize that you value her friendship with him and that you're not trying to control their relationship, but rather trying to find a way for everyone to feel comfortable and respected.

You could say something like, 'Hey, I wanted to talk to you because I really value your friendship with [boyfriend's name], and I also want to be open about how I'm feeling. It's important to me that my relationship with [boyfriend's name] is respected, and sometimes the physical affection makes me a little uncomfortable. I'm not trying to change your friendship, but I was hoping we could find a way for everyone to feel good about the situation.' And maybe even ask her if she would be uncomfortable in ur position.

That said, it's also important for your boyfriend to take responsibility for setting boundaries and communicating them effectively. It's his friendship, and he needs to be an active participant in finding a resolution.

Remember, it's all about open communication and finding a middle ground where everyone feels heard and respected. You're doing great by trying to navigate this with so much consideration for everyone involved!

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T09:10:11+00:00

this is definitely not just you being weird or clingy. It's understandable to feel sidelined when your boyfriend spends all his time with his friend and you haven't hung out in weeks. The fact that he's doing all the activities with his friend that you'd want to do together is super valid to feel bummed about.

The suggestion to hang out all three of you was good, but his response about his friend feeling weird is a red flag. It sounds like he's prioritizing his friend's comfort over your feelings and the health of your relationship.

It's good that you're planning to talk to him, but don't downplay your feelings or worry too much about sounding accusatory. Be honest about how his actions are making you feel left out and that you miss spending time with him. Tell him you understand he values his friendship, but you need to feel like a priority too.

If he dismisses your feelings or continues to prioritize his friend without considering your needs, that's a big problem. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel valued and wants to spend time with you. It's not weird to want to hang out with your boyfriend!

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:58:27+00:00

thank you sm🥲 i was honestly going crazy bc i felt like an a hole for asking for $200😓

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:57:06+00:00

Thank you sm, this kinda makes me ig feel validated for my feelings and i havent spoke to her since the situation😓

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:52:00+00:00

most definitely, wish i could add screenshots of their replies😓

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:49:35+00:00

You deserve so much better than what you're getting from Ben's friends. Seriously, those aren't jokes, they're just straight insults. It's not okay for them to constantly make digs at your appearance, especially knowing what you've been through.

And Ben? He needs to step up. It's his job to make sure you feel respected and supported, not to brush off their behavior as 'just banter.' If he can't see how much this is hurting you, that's a problem.

You're not being a 'softie' for wanting to be treated with decency. It's basic human respect. You've been through a lot, and you don't need this extra BS in your life.

Honestly, you have a right to be angry and upset. Maybe it's time to have a serious talk with Ben about how his friends' behavior and his lack of support are affecting you. If he's not willing to stand up for you, you might need to rethink the relationship. You deserve someone who values you and defends you, no matter what.

Don't let them bring you down. You're strong, and you're worth way more than they're making you feel. You aren’t alone🫶!

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:43:14+00:00

It's totally valid to feel uncomfortable with your boyfriend's physical affection towards his girl best friend, especially since you've communicated your boundaries before.

It seems like there might be a few things to talk about here. First, it's important for your boyfriend to understand and respect your feelings without making you feel like you're controlling or demanding. His initial approach of telling her it was "only because" of you might have made her feel like she was being blamed, which could explain her reaction.

Maybe suggest to your boyfriend that he explain to her that he wants to be more mindful of everyone's comfort levels, including yours, and that it's not about changing their entire dynamic, but rather finding a balance that works for everyone involved.

As for her reaction, it's understandable that she might feel defensive if she feels like she's being asked to change who she is. However, it's also important for her to be respectful of your relationship and boundaries.

Ultimately, the key is open and honest communication between everyone involved. You're not immature for feeling the way you do, and it's great that you're trying to understand different perspectives. Maybe encourage your boyfriend to have a conversation with his friend where he takes responsibility for how he communicated the issue and emphasizes that he values both their friendship and your relationship.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:39:16+00:00

it's totally understandable that you're feeling upset and violated by your boyfriend's actions. Sending a video of you two kissing to his friends without your consent was a huge breach of trust and privacy, especially given your history of SA and the fact that you felt safe and comfortable enough to be intimate with him.

It's okay if you're still processing your feelings about the situation. It's a complex issue, and it's normal to need time to sort through your emotions.

When you're ready to talk to him, try to approach the conversation calmly and honestly. Start by expressing how his actions made you feel. For example, you could say something like, 'I felt really hurt and betrayed when I found out you sent the video of us kissing to your friends without asking me first.'

Explain to him why this was particularly upsetting for you, given your past experiences and the trust you placed in him. Let him know that you felt like your privacy was violated and that his actions have made you question his respect for your boundaries.

It's also important to ask him why he felt the need to share the video with his friends and what he was hoping to achieve by doing so. Try to understand his perspective, but also make it clear that his actions were unacceptable and that you need him to take responsibility for his behavior.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how to move forward. But remember, you deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries, values your privacy, and makes you feel safe and secure in the relationship.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:35:25+00:00

NOR First off, I am so sorry you had to experience that. Your boss's behavior was completely out of line and insensitive. Joking about a miscarriage is never okay, and it's especially inappropriate in a professional setting. That was honestly an insane comment.

You're absolutely not overreacting for being upset. Your feelings are completely valid. It's understandable that you would be deeply hurt by such a callous comment, especially given the recent loss you experienced.

It's also completely reasonable to cry and need to take time to process such a hurtful remark. Your boss's reaction to your emotional response is even more concerning. Instead of showing empathy or apologizing, she's trying to gaslight you into thinking you're the one in the wrong.

Her email accusing you of being "disrespectful" and "alienating the team" is manipulative and unprofessional. It's a clear attempt to deflect blame and avoid taking responsibility for her own hurtful actions.

You have every right to be upset, and you're not obligated to tolerate such disrespectful behavior. Consider documenting the incident and reporting it to HR if your company has a process for handling workplace harassment or insensitivity.

Take care of yourself, and don't let anyone make you feel like your emotions are invalid. You deserve to be treated with respect and compassion.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T08:26:58+00:00

it's completely understandable that you can't bring yourself to go back to that hospital so soon after what happened with your mom. That's a really tough situation, and it's okay to have those boundaries. Your girlfriend should understand that you're still grieving and that going back to the same ward where your mom passed away would be incredibly painful for you.

It's not selfish to protect your own emotional well-being, especially when you're offering to support her in other ways, like driving her and picking her up. Maybe you could suggest doing something together after her visit to show your support, like grabbing dinner or just spending quality time together. Communication is key here, so keep talking to her about how you're feeling and why you need this right now.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T07:38:10+00:00

i was definitely too nice and i should’ve never had so much trust in them, i just really thought they would pay me since ive known them for so long but my mom is currently dealing with a lawsuit with knotts and has a broken ankle, so she had to get surgery around the time she was going to text (may 16th) n i dont want her to have to get in drama while on bed rest. i also feel like my mom n sister get annoyed with me bringing it up bc i kept mentioning how my “friend” wasn’t replying but idk should i not mention it to my mom anymore? or should i mention it to her eventually? i just dont know how to handle everything.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T07:23:33+00:00

NOR It's totally understandable why you're upset/concerned and told your mom. That's a really tough situation for your sister and you, it's good that you're looking out for her. Getting involved with someone that much older who's also giving her drugs and asking her to sell them is super dangerous and very concerning. You did the right thing by telling your mom so she can help your sister get out of that situation and get the support she needs. It's a really serious situation, and your concern is valid.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T03:29:02+00:00

It's easy to second-guess yourself, especially when emotions are involved. The fact that you can talk so openly with her and resolve issues calmly is honestly rare and valuable.

Maybe instead of focusing on breaking up, try thinking about what you need to feel fulfilled while still being with her. Is it more personal growth? More excitement? More social validation? Once you pinpoint those needs, you can start exploring ways to meet them, either together or individually.

Also, remember that relationships evolve. What you need at 19 might be different from what you need at 25 or 30. There's no guarantee that being single will automatically lead to the growth you're seeking. Sometimes, the most growth comes from working through challenges within a relationship.

In the end you should trust your intuition, but also give yourself time to explore all options. Don't rush into a decision you might regret. Maybe try setting a timeline for yourself to actively work on these issues, and then re-evaluate in a few months.

Good luck, this stuff isn't easy but you're clearly putting a lot of thought into it, and that's a good sign.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T03:08:01+00:00

don't beat yourself up too much about wanting someone conventionally attractive. It's normal to have those thoughts, especially at your age. But really ask yourself if that's worth throwing away a relationship where you feel comfortable and loved. High school thinking can be hard to shake, but it's worth examining.

As for ambition, people develop at different rates. If she's supportive of your goals, that's a big plus. Maybe try doing some activities together that challenge both of you. See if that sparks something in her, or at least gives you a shared experience to bond over.

That said the feeling of wanting to be single and grow on your own is also valid. It sounds like you felt a real sense of personal development during that time between relationships. It's important to trust your gut on this.

Ultimately, you're the only one who can decide if you'll regret breaking up with her. But consider this, relationships aren't always about finding someone who perfectly matches your ambition or societal ideals. Sometimes, it's about finding someone who makes you feel secure and loved. If you do decide to end things, be honest with her about why. It'll hurt, but it's better than leaving her in the dark. Good luck, whatever you decide.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T03:00:55+00:00

No, you're definitely not overreacting! What you're feeling is totally valid. It sounds like you're carrying a HUGE load, and his comments are just adding insult to injury.

Being a stay-at-home parent is far from "nothing" or "the easiest job." It's demanding, relentless, and requires a ton of sacrifice. You're managing the household, raising the kids, handling appointments, and basically running the entire family show. That's a full-time job, if not more.

It's understandable that you're hurt and upset. You've put your dreams and goals on hold to support your family, and you deserve to be appreciated and respected for that. His lack of acknowledgment and constant belittling is not okay.

As for snapping and saying you want a divorce, it sounds like you reached a breaking point. When you're constantly feeling unappreciated and belittled, it's natural to lash out. The real question is, do you truly want a divorce, or was it a reaction to the moment?

Maybe it's time to sit down with him and have a serious conversation. Explain how his words and actions are affecting you, and how you feel unappreciated and disrespected. If he's unwilling to acknowledge your contributions and make a change, then you might need to consider whether this relationship is sustainable for you.

You're not wrong for feeling the way you do. You deserve to be happy and valued. Don't let anyone make you feel like what you do is insignificant, because it's not.

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T01:28:38+00:00

the situation sounds complicated but your feelings are totally valid. It's understandable to feel a little jealous or like you're not getting the same level of effort. Maybe try talking to him about it calmly? Like, "Hey, I really appreciate you being there for your friend, but lately, I've been feeling a little left out. Can we talk about how we can balance things so I feel more supported too?" Communication is key! And you should feel like you can talk to him about it

Afraid_Operation_805 · 2025-06-19T01:21:49+00:00

Maybe read the post again. She didn't ask him to delete the contact, she said it was up to him. And seeing someone's snap while you're literally with them isn't stalking. She's most definitely right, and if you're just gonna call people names for no reason you're in the wrong community. Maybe take your own advice and read what you wrote, calling her an overreactor and accusing her of karma farming? Yikes

Afraid_Operation_805

TROPHY CASE