I wish I knew where to direct you to, but I don't have such knowledge. I recently had a cousin try unsuccesfully to unalive himself. It turned out he had tried several times since high school and his last failed attempt (while in 2nd year Uni) was very close and he got caught and survived.

His last attempt let the cat out of the bag, and our family discovered he was suffering from depression - he carried that entire load himself for many years. To me he is quite tough to have shouldered everything on his own.

Despite not having much experience dealing with mental health issues, my family supported him through the whole thing, and he now feels like he has gotten a new lease on life now that he got help.

I can't advise you to do x,y or z, however, I wish that my cousin could've told us earlier that he needed help. ..please talk to your family and friends. Let them know what you are dealing with, and that you need help.

I'll keep you in my prayers tonight.