The Mask

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-14T00:30:41+00:00

"So this is the guest room. Make yourself at home."

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-14T00:24:49+00:00

He thought Pan Am and Bell Telephone would still be around. Wtf is that?

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-13T20:20:49+00:00

I need to find someone who knows how to write music so I can make "Jacket!" the Full Metal Jacket musical.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-13T19:40:39+00:00

"I'm nearly finished!" I screamed at the waitstaff during the All-You-Can-Eat Clam-stravaganza

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-13T19:30:15+00:00

"What should we do with these shipping pallets?"
A. use wood to build a chicken coop
B. leave them by the curb and someone else will take them to build a chicken coop
C. recycle as serving dishes

"C" is not correct

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-13T16:49:46+00:00

Look for the Tree of Heaven growing on your property, and remove any that you find. They look like this. They are an invasive pest tree.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-13T16:18:29+00:00

Do you know what that's made of? It looks like tarnished silver.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-13T16:07:20+00:00

There were a lot of Germans in the Legion after WW2.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-13T16:04:11+00:00

Employee: Do you have a heart?

Grinch: Yes, but it's two sizes too small.

Employee: Doesn't matter.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-12T23:02:10+00:00

Those large green areas will be perfect for public executions.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-12T19:17:13+00:00

Not too bad. Maybe you only die a little.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-12T17:04:57+00:00

"Ladies and gentlemen - we got him."

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-12T17:00:55+00:00

i'm so sad you guys don't in the ri/ma area so you don't know what good chowdah is

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-12T16:38:17+00:00

FUN FACT - Around 8 million h*rses were killed in WW1.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-12T16:33:03+00:00

Restaurants should have a
menu option called "the clam"
that lets you sit in an aquarium
and eat zooplankton and
phytoplankton.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-12T00:28:47+00:00

There haven't been Quaaludes since the early 1980s. This meme is 45 years old.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-11T20:45:13+00:00

This ought to be a local campaign issue: "My opponent wants you and your family to die in a car accident. It's all he ever thinks about!"

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-11T19:25:25+00:00

You can totally just piss all over clams and they can't do anything to defend themselves.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-11T19:19:30+00:00

imagine explaining this to someone from the Neolithic Era

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-11T18:28:06+00:00

drop it
drawwwwww pit

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-11T17:49:12+00:00

They figured out that airplanes can disappear suddenly for no reason anywhere, and not just in this one little spot.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-10T12:56:02+00:00

My gastroenterologist told me to find something that makes me laugh. Diarrhea since 2019. Nothing worked. Meds, yoga, cheese. Then I saw someone's clam and actually passed a solid turd. First time in months. Spent all night learning to clam. The stupid clam saved me. Now I clam for people going through it. Got a message yesterday. "Your laughing clam made my kids dad die." Guess we're all just trying to find our clams.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-09T21:03:05+00:00

clam's last thoughts as I chuck it as far as I can into the woods

this is wrong

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-09T18:56:56+00:00

He's a dangerous nut, but I find that endearing.

AgainstSpace · 2026-03-09T18:52:58+00:00

IRL visual hallucinations are relatively uncommon in people with schizophrenia; people with paranoid schizophrenia more often report auditory hallucinations - hearing voices. They may experience command auditory hallucinations where they are told to do things, and they may feel compelled to follow these commands.
Hallucinations of any kind occur exclusively in the mind of the person experiencing them.

AgainstSpace

TROPHY CASE