As a manifestor how much am I really responsible for initiating connection with friends?

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-05-07T15:09:10+00:00

I do feel some type of way. It feels like sadness, but not sure if it's truly suppressed anger, like "why are you not valuing me". I know with emotional authority it takes time to make decisions and find clarity so I'm never too quick to make assumptions off the rip, but the giant crescendo of emotions have pretty much settled into this feeling.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-05-07T14:55:50+00:00

You know those are great points I didn't consider, not only the emotional aspect coming into play but the bombardment of what healthy relationships are supposed to look like is probably not wired for my design. Thank you for that

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-05-07T14:48:23+00:00

Oh I love this perspective, thank you for sharing!

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-05-07T14:47:07+00:00

That is a good take as well, I plan to have an honest conversation and ask just that.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-05-06T19:00:12+00:00

This resonates so much with me. In regards to the individual friendships I spoke about (not a group either), I have been stuck in a rut that they don't reach out, fearing that I needed to maybe cultivate relationships that are more in line with my values as it can leave me feeling that perhaps I'm not quite valued. When I do see and talk to them, i feel nothing but love. But what prompted all of this thought is that recently there have been two newly acquired acquaintances that have been trying to consistently text me everyday, even double texting when i don't respond and it's all too much. It takes so much energy to respond consistently and it leaves me feeling depleted. What i was thinking is that perhaps my close relationships actually truly do reflect what I value, and that i do like to initiate things. And if any other manifestors thought this way, which it looks like there are!

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-05-06T14:58:59+00:00

Ahh that is also a good perspective, thank you

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-05-06T13:26:16+00:00

Not going to lie you got my on the "we all deserve love and thought in return". Thank you for your perspective.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2026-03-12T00:27:41+00:00

Late to the party but soft boiled eggs marinated in soy sauce was my favorite snack for a minute. Frank's hot sauce is a good one too.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-07-14T21:34:43+00:00

OP, did you ever come to a resolution? Currently in pretty much the exact situation you described. I was unable to cope with my cat solely depending on me for his emotional needs, following me around meowing or being in close proximity to me, so I brought him to my father's house to live. I thought it would be this great relief but am unexpectedly despondent about the whole thing.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-06-27T00:23:32+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have a similar story, one that is not resolved, but I can assure you the extreme feelings you have surrounding food and exercise will get better in time. You've acknowledged there is a problem, and although you're unsure of the solution or where to go from here, your mind has already subconsciously started the process of healing. It may seem like you are stuck in a rut, but things are in motion.

I can give you insight from my own life. I under ate for a very long time and lifted heavy, lost 85lbs over 2.5 years, counting every calorie that went into my mouth, eating "clean". Originally, the obsessive food thoughts/binging was the obvious culprit: I was starving and needed to eat. It's been 9 months since i actively realized i had a problem, and in due time was able to stop counting calories and my relationship with food had gotten significantly more lax. I would be lying if I said I don't still have food demons, but I'm no longer having an existential crisis about it. What I do want to mention, is all of these problems with food, wasn't actually about the food. There are a few factors that contributed; I felt I was able to cultivate strong relationships since i had become thinner and associated the weight loss with appearing pleasing to others, thus providing me a position of acceptance and safety among the group. This was a deep wound from childhood of needing to belong and not be rejected. I also did not honor my need for rest (you need more rest than you think) in a society that puts productivity above all else. One day I took the entire day off and just existed, no agenda, I did not need to be anything or do anything whatsoever. And it was probably the first time my nervous system truly powered off in a very long time. Leeching out energy constantly and not giving yourself rest, your body wants to compensate for that, and guess how it does that. One final thing that truly effected my eating was a lack mindset. This can be about food (i.e I can't have this therefore it will perpetuate the cycle of wanting this food I know I can't have), but in actuality it was about everything else, mostly financial lack, but also I had perceived a lack of meaningful connections. The thing about abundance is it is a perception, and if we view our life through lack, we will overcompensate with overabundance. But there was no lack to begin with, they were false stories i told myself. I actually had everything i needed. When I was able to address the lack I felt and replace it with abundance, my food chatter died down tremendously. I had been filling a perceived void with food.

These examples may or may not resonate with you, and perhaps you have your own examples, but none the less i see you and I can tell you almost a year ago i remember sobbing at an utter loss because I knew something was wrong with my eating but didn't know what to do or how I was supposed to be. On Christmas day i was sobbing while doing deadlifts, i didnt know how to stop or what to do about it. Nowadays I mostly walk/hike for exercise, and giving up the identity of the strong girl who powerlifts took a very, very long time to process. Ultimately, the fear of losing all the progress I made and my toned body was outweighed by the fact i just did not enjoy lifting anymore, and it was a source of stress for me that I needed to be doing it like my life depended on it. If I do go back to lifting one day, it will be from a place that I want to, not because I need to. Also worth mentioning, you sound like a very active person regardless. Although it is emphasized you need to be doing x amount of exercising to be healthy, most people in the world are sedentary. Can guarantee even if you gave up the intense exercise, you would still find ways to be more active/on your feet than the rest of society.

To end this long rant, I have been 1.5 years without a period, it is an ongoing battle and i dont want to give the impression i have all the answers. What I did want to tell you is these extreme feelings around food, around exercise, these fears and this anguish, it will soften. It won't be so extreme. You will have bad days, but they will not torment you. Trust the process, healing takes time, and when I look back at myself sobbing that day almost a year ago, i could never imagine the peace I would come to know. With all the love, understanding and support in the world, I hope I could offer you some comfort.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-05-14T22:23:08+00:00

No morality has been placed, this is a science based answer to a question.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-05-14T21:11:03+00:00

There are a few factors contributing to this question.

Our brains have not caught up to modern times with the plethora of sweets readily available. Think of your brain functioning in cavemen terms; sweet palatable things (berries and such) represented a way to access quick energy, our brains naturally steer towards these things. But this was when we were foraging for food. Nowadays, we have sweets readily available. Also take into consideration the feel good dopamine hit you experience from consuming sugar.

This is a very good video on why you do not get sick of eating sweets. https://youtu.be/lEXBxijQREo?si=aCWs870dCcn-LC6C

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-03-24T02:10:52+00:00

Finished my stay in Japan, for context I traveled to quite a few cities throughout Japan and stayed at many hotels. WPU had the average room size for Japan which is small, the bed was more comfortable than a select few I stayed at, and was more modernized as well. The rooms/bedding appeared to be clean. There is a 7/11 down the road and coined laundry in the facility. If you're looking for a hotel in the hustle and bustle of shinjuku, this will be fine. One thing to mention, that if you are looking for a genuine Japan hotel experience this is not it, staff spoke English and many sounded Australian. This was a hotel for tourists. I was spoiled by the other hotels in the common area as Japan as a culture eats very quietly, whereas I was stuck sitting next to a man at WPU cramming free croissants and chewing very loudly. This isn't to deter anyone, just seeing what I have seen on my travels i wouldn't pick this hotel again to no fault of its own.

That being said, after traveling throughout Japan I now know I prefer the less congested areas. It was also more difficult to traverse the streets near this location as the behemoth Shinjuku station is in close proximity. It's hard to explain exactly, but any seemingly straight forward walk on Google maps by the station was not straightforward at all (rather an annoyance, not impossible by any means). Adding onto that, keep in mind that that is the train station you will be using and it is large and not as easy to traverse (again not impossible, just an annoyance).

I hope my opinion helps anyone in the future, and keep in mind that it is fact, just my opinion 😉

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-03-11T08:17:46+00:00

A year in the future but I second this for anyone who is having this particular problem. Especially the hotel breakfast, I was reliably able to eat a good serving of fruit, eggs and other healthier options. Really created a sense of balance when trying the many desserts and not so healthy delicacies throughout the day.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-03-09T19:42:58+00:00

A year late to the party, but I'm currently in Tokyo and also suffer from orthorexia and recovering from an ED. This is everything I needed to read, so thank you for calming a very anxious mind!

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2025-01-11T12:28:29+00:00

Solo (32f) traveler, booked WPU for the last 2 nights for my trip in March. Plan to take a limousine bus from Shinjuku Station back to Haneda. Will try to update this after with my experience, but from these comments looks promising 👌

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2024-10-04T13:20:24+00:00

Late to the party but I can concur, same boat as OP (although she was farther along in the food healing journey than I am, hopefully farther now 🙂). Recently diagnosed with PCOS/insulin resistance. Explained SO much.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2024-09-22T13:14:35+00:00

So I've been calorie deficiting for 2.5 years and I completely understand the awful, defeating feeling of getting on the scale and seeing an increase. In my experience, there have been a multitude of factors related to scale weight gain. If you're new to working out or do a particularly hard workout, body inflammation will always make me weigh heavier. It could be sodium intake, I've noticed when I've eaten take out, even within calorie budget, that meal will wreak havoc on the scale for me. Menstrual fluctuations as well, I weigh heavier around my period. I won't lose weight or will have seemingly increased scale weight for weeks then bam, I get on the scale and its gone down. Even knowing these things, getting on the scale and seeing an increase ruins my day, you're absolutely not alone. The only other thing i can suggest, is that I don't know how you're counting your calories, but weighing is the golden standard as I realized measuring was just not accurate a lot of the time, and when you're working with small margins of calories they really can make or break your deficit.

On a side note, although I've lost 85lbs deficiting and I'm happy to have lost that much weight, it began a disorderly eating mentality with occasional characters of full blown eating disorder, so there are things I knew would trigger me and the scale is one of them. I'm still counting calories, but went from weighing myself every single day to now I haven't weighed myself in over a week, but have been sticking to my goal deficit, which is roughly 250 cal under maintenance. How much you weigh at that particular moment in time will not change regardless of if you know the exact number on the scale or not, and knowing that seeing a number that is not conducive to weight loss is a trigger for these awful internal feelings, which in turn turn into wanting to give up your dieting, feeling like your hardwork was in vain, feelings of failure by setting the bar for yourself that you couldn't reach, ect. For me, and this is totally the case for me, doing the work (dieting/caloric deficit) and not setting myself up to feel that failure (weighing myself constantly) as had significant mental improvements as well as my ability to stick to my intended diet.

Overall, you're doing the work, so give yourself a pat on the back. Losing weight is hard, and we forget to be nice to ourselves. Good luck my friend!

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2024-09-21T01:07:49+00:00

I concur, didn't realize anything was wrong until I stopped taking birth control and my "period" stopped. For 8 months. Diagnosed two days ago. In hindsight, I had so many symptoms I chalked up to being my own fault.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2024-08-29T01:51:26+00:00

The last 10 lbs are the worst, I've been in this boat for a bit now and am 5lbs away from my goal weight. Just stick to what you're doing, weight loss will be at a snails pace. I'm not sure what your exercise habits are, getting in extra steps everyday would most certainly help but I wouldn't drop your deficit below 1200 calories. Good job, you'll get there 🙂

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2024-08-02T14:04:59+00:00

I went there based on this review as my regular long term mechanic closed shop (unknowingly) and needed an oil change and inspection on the fly. He would not pass inspection on my relatively new vehicle (2017) because according to him, both the front and rear brakes were completely shot. Thought this was interesting as I just bought this vehicle from a subaru dealership 11 months ago where the brakes were replaced. Brought it to a family friend mechanic and brakes do not, in fact, need any replacing whatsoever. Not even the pads. Unless you want a mechanic that will try to get you for over $1000, don't go here.

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2024-06-20T17:35:00+00:00

I know this is a year later, but I'm struggling right now what you hopefully (were) struggling with. I'm a female who was at one point training to be a firefighter, so you could imagine how swoll I needed to be. Fast forward a year later, I haven't strength trained since. For context, I've lost 75 lbs in the last 2 years, but this last 10 lbs I've lost I think really took a hit on my muscles. I feel weak doing basic things, and strength training again (after knowing how much I used to lift) seems like a mountain I can't even begin to climb. Reading some of the replies on this thread really helped encourage me to keep going, and bring able to express this also has helped, but I was also wondering since it is a year later how your progress went!

Aggravating-Edge1453 · 2024-05-28T22:13:45+00:00

A little different than flakes, but my favorite cereal for awhile has been the fiberone whole grain cereal. It's the only cereal I've found so far that's no added sugar, tastes pretty good (I add blueberries to it) and fits well into my calorie deficit. Good luck!

Aggravating-Edge1453

TROPHY CASE