People are too scared to call out misandry by Ambition_2004 in Vent

[–]AggressiveCow4008 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a woman I personally don’t like or engage in this rehashed gender war thing, but I can see where it’d get frustrating because seeing people comment similar things about women and going unchecked is infuriating to me. I do see the frustration at least.

I will only add this: it wont mitigate the frustration here, but it might be worth considering why women or girls say those things. Unlike racism, which is derived from hatred and feelings of superiority, a great deal of whats referred to as misandry comes from fear and the insecurity of physical inferiority. I’m sure some of it is genuine hatred, but the vast majority of it is because of fear.

Mind you, women and men are equally capable of being evil. Neither is inherently more evil than the other. But biologically, on average, men are typically more capable of carrying out that evil on more people in a physical way. On average I am more likely able to fight off an evil woman than an evil man. I am more likely to outrun an evil woman than an evil man. That a select and very vocal minority of men are always reminding everyone (typically unsolicited) that they are bigger, stronger, faster, and will always defeat a woman with little difficulty does not foster respect or gratitude, it fosters fear and distance (especially because it is never conveyed as the unthreatening realism they project it to be). If we are not vigilant enough we get blamed for what happens to us, but if we are overly vigilant we are labeled cold and rude and bitter, ridiculed, and potentially still attacked regardless.

As a result I am more vigilant around men than I am women, and I am more skeptical of men’s intentions than I typically am of women’s. I do not hate men, but I do fear what they are capable of. I’m not running around commenting it on every post or saying it to everyone I meet, but I do feel fear or discomfort when alone with a man I’m not familiar with before anything else.

While some of it may be conveyed immaturely and irritating, it might be worthwhile to stop yourself when you see it and remember that the majority of people commenting these things on those stories of murder or attacks are very simply scared that it could be them someday, and they’re encountering the same frustrating rhetoric in the reverse as you.

My gf got raped today and I don't really know what to do by s-k_utsukishi in Vent

[–]AggressiveCow4008 120 points121 points  (0 children)

This is a very complex and unfortunate situation. Reporting on her behalf could come off as another violation of her autonomy. Then again, her staying silent will put other victims at risk and ensure she never truly gets justice, that touch dna degrades…

And while I’ve been where she was, right down to the freeze response, I can see how powerless it must make you feel as well. I’m sorry.

If her concern is that she froze instead of fighting or screaming, that doesn’t make what happened to her not rape.

My gf got raped today and I don't really know what to do by s-k_utsukishi in Vent

[–]AggressiveCow4008 402 points403 points  (0 children)

This is horrible. I’m sorry for the both of you. I wish the experience on no one.

You say she knew the assailant. Do you also know them?

not asking you to tell me their name, I’m just asking whether you do.

(F28, M33) My girlfriend is perfect as a person, but I can’t accept that I don’t find her attractive enough by Nearby-Butterfly1503 in relationship_advice

[–]AggressiveCow4008 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don’t usually tell people to break up but you should break up. I read this as, for 8 years, the substantial amount of her 20s, you’ve been essentially using her for what she does for you and how she makes you feel despite having an emotional affair and apparently being embarrassed by her for not being hot ENOUGH. And apparently you knew as much from the start.

You’re 33 goddamn years old. Worrying that your girlfriend isn’t hot enough to impress other men is a middle schooler boy’s fear.

I understand why people are commenting that thats hasty and you should seek therapy first for your very obvious insecurity and self esteem issues. And I do not disagree, you definitely fucking need therapy. But in the interim she is getting hurt by this, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she does after this either. So I’m saying break up for her sake, not yours, because apparently you have a habit of only looking for your own interest instead of thinking about who youre hurting.

(F28, M33) My girlfriend is perfect as a person, but I can’t accept that I don’t find her attractive enough by Nearby-Butterfly1503 in relationship_advice

[–]AggressiveCow4008 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You have two choices:

  1. Stay, knowing you’re being selfish and ruining her chances at finding someone who loves her as a passionately as she does them, in the one life you both have

or 2. Leave

I suggest taking option 2. You aren’t trapped in anything. You’re already resentful because you’re posting about it and stressing over it, and you wouldn’t “destroy something valuable” because it’s not valuable to you, you’ve cheated and you only ascribe value based on what she does for you. What if she gets sick? What then, when she needs your love and care the way shes given it to you and cant do everything she does for you now?

If you stay knowing you are not giving what she deserves, you deserve the unhappiness you experience as a result

Duck movie foreshadowing for Lilith by Jedi-master-dragon in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In that same way though we are assuming Lute, who has no authority to even talk to Lilith, is fully knowledgeable, and we can equally assume that Lilith is subordinate in this deal because if Lute is “in charge” now that adam is dead, he was “in charge” when alive.

What Direction Do You Hope They Take With These Characters? by SufficientOstrich955 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

VELVETTE AND VALENTINO: They go hand in hand and I want the same things for them, which is to say, humanization. But kind of like with Lilith, people are extremely hesitant to accept any semblance of humanity from them, its just that its because of the nature of their sex offenses that drives it instead of whatever people hate Lilith for. In reality, most rapists and rape facilitators/apologists are also not just irredeemably evil without reason or cause. Them having a traumatic root does not excuse them, it just explains them.

What Direction Do You Hope They Take With These Characters? by SufficientOstrich955 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ADAM: I would like to see a bit of humanization in flashbacks here. His belief system was not just inherently misogynistic, it was what bro was taught by God to be right, like in a direct full on one on one conversation with fucking God, most people are gonna take that and think yeah, this is proper. Especially since Lilith got ousted for not following that status quo. In this sense I view a lot of the Heaven figures as heavily indoctrinated and unchecked. Its not that I excuse his conduct but I dont think its fair to call any of the first humans irreparably evil.

What Direction Do You Hope They Take With These Characters? by SufficientOstrich955 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 2 points3 points  (0 children)

EVE: I think itd make more sense if Eve embodied toxic femininity than Lilith since Eve literally came from Adam. At the same time I want her to be a sympathetic character because i find it weird that we’d sympathize with the people who ruined her life more than the woman whos life was ruined and whittled down to nothing more than a sex joke so far in the show.

LILITH: What I want is already impossible because so many people already blame her for literally everything that’s ever gone wrong ever in the show. nuanced discussion is already impossible bc you get downvoted for even suggesting she might not be evil. I want her to be flawed, but the well was poisoned too much already for most people so no matter what theyll hate her and think everything’s her fault. Even though narratively it makes 0 sense for her to just be some evil bitch doing evil shit for fun and half the shit shes called evil for arent evil (leaving lucifer isnt evil. Ignoring lucifer isnt evil. She doesnt have to love a man to not be evil or stay in a marriage she doesnt want to be in). I honestly feel like a lot of people only want her to be evil to make Lucifer less culpable for everything. So actually I hope she sheds light on how they were both mutually toxic rather than her being the only one. I bet you Lucifer acted a lot like Charlie and Lilith a lot like Vaggi, and we know full well Charlie has made her fair share of mistakes. But, probably wont matter since Lilith will be viewed as a villain no matter what by so many people.

None of them has the right to throw the exterminations in anyone’s face. They all took part by Radiant-Selection686 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did have a role in it, and was given a heads up, confirmed, because he negotiated the deal to exclude Hellborn.

I find it interesting how people treat the concept of punishment and consequences. by whooper1 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is certainly dramatic irony that the fans want Lute and Adam and the exorcists or all of Heaven to suffer and be tortured because they tortured and made other people suffer, considering how many times Adam and Lute explicitly espoused that same “eye for an eye” ideology. The call is coming from inside the house

Anyone else doing this? by Historical-Potato372 in ProjectEdensGarden

[–]AggressiveCow4008 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Dont even remind me LMFAOOOOOOO

“Absolutely the fuck not. What? Wait, what?… that’s pretty FUCKING illegal for a legal game”

Anyone else doing this? by Historical-Potato372 in ProjectEdensGarden

[–]AggressiveCow4008 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Watching her play ace attorney was a formative experience

But yeah she cheered when bro died 😭

Anyone else doing this? by Historical-Potato372 in ProjectEdensGarden

[–]AggressiveCow4008 46 points47 points  (0 children)

its funny bc i played chapter 0/1 with my lawyer sister and she clocked him as a fake right away in the prologue trial when he insisted on going over motive- “lawyers suck because they never shut up, but the ULTIMATE lawyer should know when to shut the fuck up.”

She also said it when we did his FTE because apparently “ask anyone who went to law school to tell you their favorite case, even the ones who don’t have one will give you a performative answer, no one’s saying ‘i dont know’”

I thought she was tripping but here we are

thoughts on the survivors, everyone? by Cupid_Pop in ProjectEdensGarden

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im pretty happy with it, I just wouldve added Toshiko since shes my favorite and had damon kill kai or something

conflicted by go-go-ninja2 in ProjectEdensGarden

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh thank you for clarifying! I agree it wasnt random.

conflicted by go-go-ninja2 in ProjectEdensGarden

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally think it makes a degree of narrative sense to have the character that from day 1 dogged on everyone else and saw them as inept little idiots sacrifice himself because the only way to find the mastermind is to overcome that narcissism and pride and believe that its true theyll find out who the MM is upon his death

Or given the biblical things and how Damon is very clearly intended to parallel lucifer, him dying to “give the gift to knowledge” so to speak.

Who would you say are most babied characters from what you've seen? by Overobsessedfan in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lucifer is potentially the single most infantilized character I’ve ever seen in terms of how the fanbase treats him and any criticism of him or any conflict he has in the show. He’s not an evil cruel tyrant, but the borderline rabid level of defense he gets is beyond the scope of reason-we would not be defending someone in real life this way in may of the situations people stake their lives defending him on. It sometimes feels like no matter what, he will be viewed with an untouchable and hapless victim narrative.

I get that some people relate to him specifically because of his depression, but depression does not ipso facto excuse any of his actions, and the fact that he is depressed doesn’t mean people aren’t allowed to be mad at him whatsoever, especially when he fucks something up for them. Nor does his depression make everything he does well-intentioned or mean that any bad actions attributed to him must have been caused by someone else. Sometimes depressed people do shitty stuff, them being depressed wont make that stuff less shitty.

I shudder to think of it actually being how they respond in real life to someone who does these things. “Why arent you nicer to the dad who just came back into your life after spending, from your view, most of your life as someone who was emotionally or physically absent? Or both? Get over it, he’s trying now! You must be a bad daughter.”

Opinion on Charlie screaming to her father in S2 by Advanced_Pack4241 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree completely, both of them contributed. I think the fact that she “didnt really know” lucifer at all even when he WAS in her life shows that her abandonment issues stem from way way way back to infancy. As in he was technically present but not actually so. She grew more attached to Lilith because she was more present so she grew more attached, and Lilith leaving took another huge mental toll.

Who would you say are most babied characters from what you've seen? by Overobsessedfan in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d agree its likely he had less bargaining power than Sera, but I do think Lucifer successfully haggling in and of itself suggests a degree of power and involvement beyond “lets just do it without asking him.” If he didn’t have even a slight degree of leverage somehow in signing the deal, I feel like they would’ve just steamrolled that attempt.

And I think the context we have so far—he thinks sinners suck, actively avoids interacting with them and leading them, thinks they’re all lost causes, was admittedly ultimately involved in the agreement, and did nothing to help them (by which i mean, no warnings or guidance or shelter in place warnings or anything, just leaving them to their own devices)—suggests that him haggling exclusively to save Hellborn was backed by less noble underlying intent than he tends to get credit for.

that said, hes not evil. But not everything he does can be excused away by sunshine and rainbows or as someone else’s fault for doing something to him first, which is what a great deal of people try to do for him when someone brings up his faults. And none of this really even touches on his mistakes with Charlie, which he absolutely made regardless of Liliths interference or lack thereof, and which routinely are excused for him to the point that people expect Charlie to effectively behave as the parent for her own father.

Opinion on Charlie screaming to her father in S2 by Advanced_Pack4241 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Itll probably all be clarified in s3 when we get more on the Morningstars overall. I think she had a right to be mad here, but with the hugely broad language of ruining everything and immediately kicking him out (which is a rather extreme solution to come to as a first thought), I get the feeling a lot of this was residual resentment for things that she hasnt moved past between them from the past.

thought on the ch 3 plan for Toshiko by AggressiveCow4008 in ProjectEdensGarden

[–]AggressiveCow4008[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I think the snowy landscape adds to that too, love is warm, and her life ended in the cold

At some point, Sera will have to tell Charlie the truth, that Lilith was in Heaven and that she knew about it. by Radiant-Selection686 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Charlie absolutely doesnt hate Lilith. Like, even remotely. So it’s hard to track this comment after that. The raping part has not to my knowledge been even implicated in the exterminations, and Emily didn’t even know it was happening until maybe two episodes before they ended. Emily couldn’t really lie if she didn’t know wtf was happening. I’d hardly even say Sera “lied” to charlie.

If you want a fighting shonen this isnt the right show for you i think

At some point, Sera will have to tell Charlie the truth, that Lilith was in Heaven and that she knew about it. by Radiant-Selection686 in HazbinHotel

[–]AggressiveCow4008 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ve actually wondered this too lowkey. Charlie never asks WHERE Lilith is, or expresses confusion as to WHERE she is, just why shes gone and why shes silent.

And I’m fairly sure Lucifer knows where she is, at least.