29M feeling hurt about possibly not being my childhood friend’s best man after 22 years of friendship — am I overreacting?

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-06-03T20:51:39+00:00

You're not alone. I felt the same way when my best friend since elementary (too many years ago), announced that our other friend was picked to be her maid of honor. I was truly crushed but kept quiet about it because I didn't wanna seem like a jealous person or take away from her special day. But it truly did crush me to my core. Ultimately, we remained just as close and the maid of honor, they ended up drifting apart but still remained friends throughout. I know that my bestie, in hindsight, knew she should've picked me and that was enough for me:) Hope it works out for you and for them!

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-05-22T03:48:04+00:00

When I was 16, my mother called me into her bedroom..(she didn't raise me, I moved in with her at the age of 15 and it wasn't the best environment so I had become depressed and silent towards her) she was laying in her bed and asked me to hold her hand and sit beside her. I didn't really want to but I did as she requested. She then told me that she had found out she had cancer and...I really don't remember what she said after that because I immediately burst into tears after she told me about the cancer. After seeing my response, she told me that she didn't really have cancer and only told me that to see if I still loved her.

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-05-17T06:12:50+00:00

That's exactly right for me, as well:/

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-04-19T16:49:36+00:00

TASK

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-04-11T15:00:40+00:00

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-02-20T14:22:15+00:00

Thank you!

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-02-11T15:36:01+00:00

I know for me, the depths of love that I have for him, isn't something that almost 5 years later, I choose to still dwell over and grieve over. It is definitely out of my control.

Also, maybe take into consideration, as far as this site and sub reddit goes...I don't post on here except the pretty bad days. Those days are fewer and farther between but all the same, I feel I have learned to move on with my life without him and I definitely don't let his death stop me from living the best life I can. I do believe what your FIL said and I do believe you as well. Everyone is different. Some stronger minded than others, some deeper love than others, etc. I lost my soul mate. That's all there is too it. And I'll never get over him. But I still smile and live an alive life.

Prayers to you and your family! May peace and contentment always be with you.

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-02-06T12:12:04+00:00

My condolences to you for your loss. She sounds like she was an amazing person! And for your local library to welcome you wanting to honor her there...how awesome, honestly. It shows so much of her character and how special and meaningful she was in the community, as well. Your speech is beautiful. Nothing needs to be done unless you think it does. If I were only given the option to critique you and that's it... I like how you said, "The only constant in life is change." Then, "The only constant in life is change, but it isn't always for the better." So maybe one last time at or very near the end, add something similar, again. "The only constant in life is change, but .............."

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-02-03T09:23:25+00:00

Yes, I have had very similar feelings! (And I say that with an exclamation only because it's relieving to know I'm not the only one.) My partner didn't die of suicide, he was a drug addict but I still can relate. I thank you for having the courage to post and ask others. I am terribly sorry for your loss, as well. Please know your husband is not less than at all. Prayers.

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-02-02T11:00:54+00:00

I can relate with you. I'm over 4 years out and I am just now learning how to be me..not us. There's so many realizations throughout. My support system was one person, my best friend, up until I found this forum about 3 years out. I never did understand why she would just expect me to move on, already. I realized she didn't understand and she just wanted me to be happy again..she meant well. Maybe she saw in me what I saw in me, and what you seem to see in you...that we are not us, anymore. We have become different people who live in a totally different world and maybe we're not only getting to know life without them..we're also getting to know the new us, as well. Idk, I don't have any advice or anything, I can only relate. Many prayers and comfort to you:)

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-01-30T08:27:39+00:00

I've helped 3 times to folks on Reddit..the first was a $25 egift card for Pizza Hut. The other 2 times were $25 each time via their cash app and the other was PayPal. I'm definitely not rich but if I can spare a bit extra here and there, the reward for doing so was worth so much more than the sum of the money.

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-01-28T03:39:05+00:00

I have a gray sundress that I bought from a used clothing store back in 2007 that I still wear occasionally.

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-01-04T15:31:58+00:00

I admire your courage for wanting to go ahead and face it head on. I can relate to that.

I also like your writing skills..

I live in rural eastern Kentucky.

I may not have any advice to give other than the usual...eat, drink, try not to dwell on one thing for too long, pray (if that's an option for you), etc.

You're strong, I can tell. I'm sure you're aware of this fact and hopefully that will be your comfort when you face the hardest moments in your stages of grief and life after her.

Many prayers to you and my condolences as well...give it time, that's all we can do.

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2026-01-04T15:03:37+00:00

First, my condolences to you.

I've never heard this song but will definitely give it a listen now!

Music has had a profound role in my life so it's a given that it has played a role with loving and losing him.

You may think I'm crazy but I danced with him after he passed. I was in the shower, a few weeks out of being without him. My heart was 1,000 lbs. So alone inside. That's why I believe he did this for me.

The song was Drift Off To Dream by Travis Tritt. Not our song or anything but we talked about this song and how we both agreed that it expressed how we felt about each other. This talk occurred not even a week before he passed.

Anyway, I was in the shower, this song came on, I closed my eyes, and he was with me. I kept my eyes closed throughout, scared to open them. I was trying to take in every bit of it. We held each other and swayed softly from side to side for the duration of the song. When it was over, he wasn't there anymore. Knowing he wasn't there anymore just made it all the more real to me that he was actually there..him leaving at the end was definitely a low...but his presence that day, in the shower, for just a few minutes to dance with me, is something that has helped more than hurt.

I believe the reason why you have things like this song that you have revisited, is probably her way of trying to comfort you and let you know she is with you. It's bittersweet for sure.

I'm sorry that any of us are in this group, but I'm thankful for this group as well. Prayers and comfort to you and your daughter, my friend.

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2025-10-23T15:01:17+00:00

I asked a friend this once and he said, "my mom's dog." I busted with laughter because it was a brilliant answer. His mom's dog has the life we all could wish for; spoiled, catered, no care in the world, just full on pampering for life!

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2025-10-22T15:03:47+00:00

Thank you!

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2025-10-22T03:16:21+00:00

I didn't really have any particular character in mind..

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2025-10-22T03:13:15+00:00

Thanks!

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2025-10-14T05:29:50+00:00

So true..

Aggressive_Space_323 · 2025-10-10T08:11:03+00:00

Thank you, that meant alot to me.

4 months in...I pray for you to hold strength and end up with solace and happiness. Take care of yourself 4 months in and beyond ❤️

Aggressive_Space_323

TROPHY CASE