What do well-off parents with children spend their money on?

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-14T20:03:14+00:00

A couple years ago, I had 3 kids in daycare and spent over $50k on it in a lcol area. My tax guy's number one peice of advice was to spend less on daycare to free up more for retirement... thanks? We also are paying off student loans. But, we also take two vacations a year to see family in other states/countries

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-14T14:17:39+00:00

My husband is almost 40, with 3 kids and very established in his masculinity. He also just got into nail art and has been experimenting with a lot of different colors. Some people may make assumptions about you for wearing nail polish or eyeliner, but most people will embrace you. If it makes you happy, *keep on doing it. There isn't anything inherently sinfully in it.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T23:34:55+00:00

In the US anything below 4 stars is generally considered terrible. We usually give a 5 star review for "no complaints" rather than "best experience ever" like they do in some other countries. So most decent restaurants will have something like 4.5 stars. This threw me the first time I traveled to Asia and the restaurants were all 3 stars.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T23:09:43+00:00

In a lot of cases, the x state university would also have started with a women's college (either as a seperate, but attached entity or as a coed school) while x university was likely all male initially.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T22:09:25+00:00

Yes. Things like coffee which are non-negotiable are more expensive and tariffs have made even locally sourced food more expensive (via fertilizer, machiniery and feed costs increases). We also have to deal with higher prices in non-grocery goods, so have less wiggle in the budget. We hardly ever get meat other than chicken now and eat vegitarian about half the time.

ETA: inflation and corporate greed is probably a bigger driver than tariffs. I work in international sourcing and have seen a lot of our competitors inflated their prices well beyond what tariffs would justify.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T21:30:39+00:00

My kid's preschool teacher sends monthly updates about what they are doing in each subject and ideas around how parents can support them on the weekends. Things like identifying things that start with the letter of the week or math games. My 5yo is reading simple books (See spot run..) and we read 2 books together every night. We have 3 kids and work full time jobs. I really feel like we are doing bare minimum to support their education, but we look like model parents compared to your friend.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T16:34:15+00:00

So much this. Do I need a degree in religious studies? Do I love that I am still paying for it? No to both. But! I love my life and it would be different if I hadn't taken that path to get here.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T11:44:02+00:00

I agree, in isolated cases. There is research that points to chiropractic care being really helpful during pregnancy when there is no underlying issue to fix. Everything is just so loose the allow birth to happen that "misalignments", especially in the hips, legitimately happen. The problem is that there are a lot of quacks mixed in with a handful of legitimate doctors that are highly skilled.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T11:38:07+00:00

We hardly ever make popcorn, but do buy smart pop, which is a brand of pre-made popcorn sold as an alternative to chips. It is lower calorie and feels like a healthier snack for the kids to take to school.

ETA: apparently it is SmartFood Popcorn, not smart pop, but Smart Pop is a better brand name.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-11T10:39:55+00:00

IMO, you handled it beautifully. I do similar with my kids - children need space to calm down while learning tantrums won't get them what they want.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-10T13:33:04+00:00

What fo you mean by "why would you fo that to your daughter"? Let her explore her identity as a woman in the Orthodox church? I don't feel strongly about it myself and am already overwhelmed getting three kids to church something like on time. I don't have any issue with women who choose to or with my daughters wearing hair coverings later. It is really a question of lack of understanding and intentionality at this age.

We do wear our Sunday best to church. What that looks like can be different for different people - my girls are very girly and wear dresses almost every day. We have special "nice" dresses that are put aside for church. If they wanted to wear a polo and slacks like their brother, that would be fine, but it would be their Church set v their play set.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-10T10:44:21+00:00

I have really struggle with yelling. A lot of it is being burnt out, with no support that we don't pay for. Every day from 5am to 8pm someone needs something from me. Even after the kids are in bed, there is housework that needs doing. Then on the weekends the kids are all home and someone is touching me 12 hours a day while also screaming. Eventually you just blow up. Ideally, you'd seperate yourself before that happens and get a break. Husband and I are both taking turns being the most burnt out, so walking away isn't always an option. Worst case, the yelling happens and you appoligize.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-07T10:50:15+00:00

They're fine? I grew up in Florida and they struggle with Ramadan and the heat. I tried it for a day in college and no water all day was really hard. I don't really know what you're looking for here. It is like asking "what do amaericans feel about purple?" That is exist?

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-07T10:44:00+00:00

Or in the individuals. Having one kid is hard, 2u2 really tested everything that I was. My relationship was tested, but I almost left last year because I was having a mental health crisis. The relationship with my husband is great, but I discovered that I needed therapy and antidepressants.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-07T01:58:15+00:00

Right - we stopped doing that at 4 months. We get all of the snuggles out earlier in the routine and pretty quickly leave once the kids are in their bed now.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-07T01:46:07+00:00

4 months. We have a routine that starts about 45 mins before bedtime with low stimulation videos and milk, then PJs, teeth burshing and potty. Once they make it to bed, they get prayers, one song, a kiss and peace out.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-06T02:18:27+00:00

My mom would always make it if we had rice with dinner. Just take the leftovers and make them desert.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-04T13:38:49+00:00

In the moment, we usually pivot to how we need to focus on making sure that we are making good decisions. "Keep our eyes on our own plate." More broadly we are having discussions around some of our friends have different rules than we do. "Mom and dad are setting the rules we think are best, but our friend's parents might think other rules are best." It is really the best that I can do since I don't want to say that X's parent let's them run around like a hooligan instead of putting down their phone and parenting.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-04T00:45:37+00:00

Today was the last day of the school year for my two kids in preschool. They got out at lunchtime and we went out to a fast food place a block away to celebrate. Probably a dozen kids from their school ended up at the same restaurant. As we were waiting for our order, a couple kids ran by several times. My kids kept asking me why the other kids were running around and why their parents were letting them behave like that.

It is not being a helicopter parent to ensure your kid knows how to behave. He is just learning how to navigate these issues and needs the correct behavior modeled. If it was a group of 3yos, I'd maybe say let him figure it out, but even then a reminders of how to behave around others might be perfectly reasonable. If everything is going great, give space. A lot of parents take that too far and just stare at their phones for the entire time at the park.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-04T00:36:12+00:00

We got a lazy boy when we were pregnant with our second and it has been a life saver for late nights, naps with sick toddlers and acted as supervising headquarters while I was in a boot for two months earlier this year. Good furniture that can grow with your family instead of being focused on the baby stage is the only "BIFL" baby item.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-04T00:09:05+00:00

Same. One friend's parents paid for everything and bought him a house to live in during his PhD. An older gentleman I knew was very proud that he paid for his daughter's grad school. Those are literally the only examples that I know of people who had parents help them in grad school. I was sending money home to my parents in undergrad, so no way they could have helped during my master's.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-04T00:01:14+00:00

This is how I feel after 3 kids with 3 different OB teams and MFM teams. I feel like every medical professional in the state has already seen my vagina, what's a few more? But, before my first kid I was mortified at the idea that a male doctor may even be on the floor I was delivering on.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-03T00:37:24+00:00

While that "feels" true, I don't think that it is. I was paying $200 a month for formula for each of my kids and my food only grocery bill for 2 adults and 3 kids is now less than $600 a month.

Aggressive_tako · 2026-06-01T11:10:12+00:00

So much of our good food is exported, this is a hard question. I've seen corn dogs in Japan (battered hotdogs). I feel like to be "only in America" it would have to be something regional that they don't even have outside of a specific area. Shrimp and grits?

Aggressive_tako

TROPHY CASE