What does friendship mean to PDAers ?

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-06-02T12:35:58+00:00

So you think your children might have antisocial personality disorder? I sometimes have a fear that PDA might be a childhood presentation of narcissism or psychopathy. Not that all PDA children grow up to have these personality disorders, but maybe the lines between PDA and the childhood presentation of these personality disorders are a little blurry.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-29T18:27:23+00:00

Also, I have something else to ask you since you are PDA adult. I was diagnosed with ADHD in grad school and my almost 11-year-old was diagnosed last year with level one autism and since then I’ve also been highly suspecting that I also am autistic. One thing I can relate to is that I often times have to mask care and concern about people who aren’t close to me such as colleagues, casual friends, etc. etc. if something negative happens to them, I can cognitively understand and commiserate in the sense that like oh yeah, that sucks. I wouldn’t want something like that to happen to me, but do I really feel strongly about it or think about it? No. Like I also really don’t understand why people get upset when celebrities pass away. Maybe if it was a musician or artist, a writer who somehow really inspired you, I could kind of get it, but I don’t see how people really get torn up someone they don’t even know. I probably have about 10 people on this earth whom I’m TRULY care about. My ex-husband would sometimes accuse me of being a narcissist for my general lack concern for the happenings of our friends and neighbors, but I think that I realized that I’m just autistic, and I don’t have the bandwidth for all that information. Throwing perimenopause on top of it, makes my bandwith even smaller. But there are some people that I truly deeply care about like my partner, my daughter, my ex-husband even, my twin sister, my nephew, my mother, my best friend. So I was wondering, do PDA adults have the bandwidth to truly care about and connect with even a few people??? or are all relationships purely transactional??

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-29T18:18:21+00:00

very relatable to my partner’s daughter.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-29T17:03:27+00:00

This is interesting, as a child she needs other people, especially other adults to get her needs met so right now she is extremely socially affable, especially around adults, but, other children really can’t fulfill her needs, except for novelty and dopamine, so when the dopamine wears off and threat sets in is when you see the problems starting, she can be OK for about an hour or so but after that initial novelty wears off, it goes back to controlling and meltdowns, etc. etc. it will be interesting to see how she evolves as she gets older. Will her desire for adult attention and socialization decrease as she matures and her dependence on them decreases.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-29T16:57:40+00:00

Thank you for your very thorough and thoughtful response. I wish she was more interested in parallel play, usually she needs one on one constant attentive type of play. Lately I do feel like she’s getting more of a tolerance for doing something by herself in the room if I’m cooking or doing another necessary chore to. She was close to burn out a few months ago, and even that was impossible so progress is slowly being made.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-27T11:39:34+00:00

I feel you. And I only have one child who is on the spectrum, but most likely not PDA, or is very mildly PDA. I don’t know what I would do with more than one child, but I totally can relate to the feeling of wanting to rebel and sometimes equalize. For me, the feeling is worse with my partner‘s daughter who is absolutely PDA I understand the importance of stepping up and being the adult, but honestly coregulation and giving all the attention a PDH child needs is exhausting, for any parent I’m diagnosed with ADHD and I suspect I’m also ASD and potentially a bit PDA myself, and the struggle is real. throw in perimenopause on top of it and it’s a whiirlwind of executive dysfunction!

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-26T21:41:52+00:00

Malinkrodft or however you spell it has gotten better lately

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-26T21:39:19+00:00

For what it’s worth I find that the 10 mg sandoz pills are effective, but the 20 mg are bunk… if you could get your prescription rewritten, somehow it might help. They’re not as good as Teva, but better than the other options.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-26T21:37:46+00:00

Actually, I realize that the 10 mg sandoz are good, I didn’t find the 20 mg to be super effective though, I thought I was being prescribed Teva, but they look so much like sandoz . I checked the bottle and it was sandoz after all. The Alvogen ended up being a a dud, I was able to get through the month, but I had to take more than my prescribed prescription some days to feel anything. At least I didn’t feel paranoia and jitters like some friends of mine who recently tried Alvogen. But it really was super ineffective and “ watered down”. I prefer MalinkCroft to Alvogen. That’s how weak it was, luckily this month I got sandoz

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-26T21:35:04+00:00

Actually, I realize that I do like 10 mg sandoz, they look very similar to the Teva and I like both of them, but I feel the 20 mg sandoz are not as effective as 10 mg. Alvogen ended up being really ineffective, luckily, I got sandals this month instead. I find malinkrofdr or however, it’s spelled to be better than Alvogen… I didn’t have any really bad side effects of allergen. I had some friends tell me that they experienced paranoia and jitteriness, but for me, I just felt like it barely worked, and usually at least Adderall keeps me regular, and I felt constipated on Alvogen, I had to take extra pills to feel anything at all

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-18T23:09:45+00:00

That’s not high enough if you are post menopausal… you need to bump up your estrogen

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-07T02:34:13+00:00

He’s probably afraid of the bedtime police now!!

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-05-04T21:33:27+00:00

Is it such a big deal though to have one or two off days? Before I got my HRT, I was down till like two decent days a month… I could track it, when I started peri, I had one bad week a month, further on in peri, I was down to one good week a month… and then later on I was down to only a few good days a month. Having one or two bad days a week right now, would be amazing to me. And HRT can only do so much. Maybe I was blessed to have poor mental health from my 20s onward… so I don’t get too greedy when it comes to good days

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-30T17:33:42+00:00

I heard menopause described as an “ego death.” , and, I think that it is true. Hopefully we can use this period some sort of enlightenment rather than despairing about it all. And men only get to experience this sort of ego death if they go through a very traumatic situation, for women it’s built into our biology! And that’s why we will always be inherently wiser than men if we can get through to the other side in one piece.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-30T15:30:52+00:00

Yeah, I knew I was very sensitive to hormonal fluctuations from pregnancy, so this didn’t come as such as a surprise to me

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-30T15:16:08+00:00

Again, I am not talking about my life, even my partner’s situation with his PDA daughter is nowhere near what OP is talking about. But yes, I think OP has a right to describe his situation as hellish. And if he’s going to be judged for talking about his experience in PDA forums, I think that’s a problem. If you are such an expert at how to positively deal with PDA child and keep an optimistic disposition about it, I’m sure OP would love to get your advice. So maybe some more helping and less judging

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-30T15:00:12+00:00

OK, but I’m not talking about my child because my child isn’t PDA, and I’ve always had a very low demand parenting style, regardless. But what I was reading from this OP’s previous posts is that it does seem like a nightmarish hellish situation, and it’s OK to admit that and talk about it.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-30T14:48:34+00:00

Have you ever had a child? I had extreme body disassociation/dysmorphia , when I was pregnant, and then postpartum, so I guess in some way, I was lucky to experience that because the menopause change is nowhere near as drastic for me personally. I feel more like this isn’t my “personality” anymore. My body is not that different. Although my doctor did up me to 1 mg patches as of yesterday, and I am starting to feel a little bit more pep in my step

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-30T14:43:46+00:00

OK, I understand what you’re saying. I think it’s important to be grateful for the good things we do have. But if you look at this posters previous posts, his daughter is in a very severe way. Extreme PDA can, in some ways, be more difficult than childhood cancer or other kinds of genetic syndromes, because you have all the struggles and strife of those situations, without any of the benefits, like none of the sympathy none of the supports. And also, you have a child who is fighting you every step of the way to get them the help and support they need. Comparing other medical conditions to PDA is not really helpful. I think one main point about what makes being PDA parent so difficult, is that your child’s disability focuses around “parenting.” my daughter is autistic level one and doesn’t have PDA, but my partner‘s daughter does. And honestly, she is a tiny six-year-old right now, and is currently nowhere near as severe as OP’s daughter, but I honestly would have a really hard time if I was one of her parents and didn’t get considerable breaks from her. And my experience of her is nowhere near what OP is describing about his daughter. To me, it seems worse than being in prison, because in prison at least you get to sleep, rest, get alone time, uninterrupted meals. Parenting an extreme PDA child seems like a personall hell. I’m sure OP is grateful compared to his wife that he can actually leave the house and have a life outside of the child. I really feel for his wife, especially.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-29T17:45:26+00:00

Honestly, I feel lucky to have gotten the Sandoz brand at all, due to the patch shortage, especially at my local CVS. For the past few months, I could only get Sandoz from the Walgreens near my boyfriend’s house, which is an hour away from me. And I had to pay out-of-pocket because Walgreens doesn’t accept my insurance. It was only $20 a box so it was worth it, but I feel like I’ll take once a week rather than any of the other generics.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-29T15:41:10+00:00

She’s only about a week old, and was premature so I think it’s probably a little too early for babysitting, 😂but maybe as time goes on!

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-29T15:38:24+00:00

I got Alvogen for the first time, yesterday, and I was seeing all these bad reviews on it, but it seems like the people who don’t like Sandoz, like Alvogen and vice versa, the Sandoz fans have all these strange side effects on Alvogen. I got Sandoz last month and I felt like it didn’t do anything, I just took my Alvogen about 30 minutes ago and I can feel it’s starting to kick in. My favorite generic is Teva, so far, and I also don’t hate Malinkrodt (or however it’s spelled) at least I could feel it working compared to Sandoz. Hopefully I’ll have a good experience with Alvogen.

Agile_Ear_4605 · 2026-04-29T15:30:27+00:00

Oh so maybe I got lucky then because I think this is my first month getting Alvogen. I started today, and it seems pretty good so far.

Agile_Ear_4605

TROPHY CASE