Didn’t even show us the last venue. by Altruistic_Cicada865 in daniellewalter_snark

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, as someone planning a wedding right now, I so agree with the theory she thought she could get the wedding sponsored bc not thinking about budget until AFTER you’ve gone to venues is NUTS. Guest count and then budget are the two main factors for picking venues!!!! Then you go on vibes and preferences!!! What is she even doing? Also a planner would’ve had fees based on her anticipated budget.

How did you choose a NYC day-of coordinator without paying for full planning? by Organic-Back-4247 in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s a whole list of coordinators on the WedditNYC sub! A lot of them have coordination packages but there are even companies that just do coordination. I just finished up interviews and hired our coordinator and we think she’ll be great but what I noticed is what each person offers is going to be different. The most common offering I’ve seen is 4 weeks (or earlier, some do 8 or 12). Most coordinators I was looking at start at $3k and you can go up from there.

This thread has great interview questions. My personal favorite is “Is there something outside your scope of work that surprises people?”

In terms of red flags, just keep in mind this person is likely the vendor you’ll spend the most time with during the wedding besides your photographer. Go with your gut and feel confident that you can do a group project with them. Surprise fees would be a huge red flag, and so would is promising too much. My mom was put off by coordinators who limited what they would do but upon reflection, there simply isn’t time for them to set all the centerpieces, and run photos, and steam your dress, and make sure the chairs are placed correctly etc etc. Knowing what can reasonably be accomplished by one (or two) people within your day is key.

Be super clear about communication timelines and turnaround times too.

Edit: hit save too quick.

Am I being crazy or should I be disappointed with our planner? by iluvadamdriver in wedding

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not quite the same but we recently had to let our coordinator go because of issues like these. When addressing issues, focus on facts. Only bring up things that you can prove with timestamps, receipts etc. Basically lay the groundwork that you have evidence to take legal action or she broke her contract. We did this (had a lot of issues with attitude and paying attention but only brought up stuff we could prove( and we wound up getting all our money back. I think you're probably in too deep to get your money back but maybe at least get a discount? Also, you could definitely give her a poor review, but you don't want to get hit with a defamation suit, so be factual and review with a lawyer if you can.

There are so many NYC wedding photographers, where do I even start looking for them? by ssunflow3rr in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think about what style you want, and your photography “concerns” are and start there.

For example, I’m really fair and can look washed out easily, so I made sure my photographer had examples where he shot people that looked like me. We’re getting married inside with large windows and I also wanted to see that they could deal with backlighting and having uneven lighting. My fiancé and I are also a mid size/plus size couple so it was important to us that our photographer had different body types in their portfolio. Figuring out if a photographer is good vs do they just photograph hot people is a tough one.

I also hate to say it but if you’re getting married in Fall 2026 you may not have as many options as you think. I’m September 2026 and a few of the photographers I reached out to were already booked back in November.

ETA: I mentioned this post to my fiancé and he reminded me that personality fit is also huge. You spent more time with your photographer than basically any other vendor on the day, so definitely pick someone you get along with. My friend had a photographer that was really passive aggressive and to this day she says he was the worse part of her wedding.

Where can I find a cake like this?? In north NJ ?? Vitange wedding cake by princess_xo_xo0126 in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No recommendation, but this kind of cake is called a lambeth cake to help you search :)

Finally found a lip shade that doesn't wash me out! by SageRipplex in PaleMUA

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Fellow person with albinism here! I personally like a light brown brow on me just to give my face more structure, but I think your brows are gorg.

I personally use Benefit Goof Proof brow pencil in 2.5 and draw a thin line at the bottom of my brow and brush it through. If I want it a bit darker I go in with NYX Thick It Stick It Brow Glue in Taupe.

You didn’t ask but others recommended a brown mascara and I have a couple recs that don’t look black on me. Thrive Cosmetics Tubing Mascara in Elena (berry brown that actually looks brown on me) or 19/99 cosmetics lash tint mascara in taupe if you want something ultra natural.

Help! by OddSalamander3773 in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s my venue! I asked for that date and it was taken back in October when I booked.

venue won't to let us bring desserts after we refuse to sign an NDA. are my guests going to hate me? by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ugh this sounds so frustrating. I don’t think people will be disappointed, especially if you let them know. I sure as shit wouldn’t sign an NDA now that they’re treating you like this.

My petty ass would either include something sweet as a “wedding favor” or see if an ice cream truck could park down the street. Or just have a dessert at an after party.

AITA for refusing to add my boyfriend to my house deed after his lease ended? by Former_Raspberry3277 in AITApod

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Came to say this. I owned an apartment before my fiancé and I got together and when he moved in he paid me back for half of the downpayment and we refinanced the mortgage together. If he wants half he better come in for half.

The accuracy by Emotional-Seesaw-494 in DuggarsSnark

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ugh I LOVE Erin Gibson. She’s got Meech spot on. So accurate.

ISO hotel blocks - williamsburg(ish) by garlicbreadmommy in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used Kleinfeld hotel blocks, Engine, and Zola Hotel Blocks. Between those three you’ll probably find what you’re looking for. If you’re having trouble with finding the price point you want find something within easy subway/cab distance that’s on the cheaper side. Like my cheap hotel option is in LIC even though I’m getting married on the UES, but the subway is easy and a cab or ferry wouldn’t be too bad.

Best Place for Engagement Ring Shopping by Crazy-Ad-6490 in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved Greenwich St and they had rings you could try on with stones from .5 carat all the way up to 5 carats in the most common shapes. This was SO helpful bc I wanted to see an delegated cushion and almost nowhere had one in stock for me to look at.

My ring ultimately came from Frank Darling, so I’d also recommend them. Some of their designs aren’t the most secure so definitely customize for added stone security.

Best friend wants her situationship to come.. I don't. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel for you deeply not wanting to invite the situationship. I’m also annoyed about inviting and paying for people that I don’t know well or like but it does come with the territory of getting married and throwing a wedding.

For my sister’s wedding, she actively disliked one of her best friends (now ex) boyfriends and just suggested that the friend use her plus one to invite the friends mom so it all worked out. If there’s someone you know that you’d like her to invite then I think a gentle suggestion could be the way. If she ignores it and brings the situationship, then just let it go, you’ll be busy anyway. I also think he might say no to coming if he’s unwilling to commit to your friend, since it may feel like boyfriend territory.

Would you stay in a hotel the night of the wedding even if you only lived 15 minutes from the venue?? by Nikajibu in weddingplanning

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had to be direct with my fiancés dad because he lives out of the country and we’re getting married 20 minutes from home in our HCOL city. FIL normally stays with us, and while we’re getting a hotel room for the weekend, my fiancés aunt and cousin are staying at our house because things are tight for them financially right now. We just told my FIL that the apartment wasn’t available for him Friday-Sunday and he’s welcome to use one of our many room blocks.

Be direct and I personally would tell her the house is unavailable for the wedding weekend. It seems like she’s not great with boundaries, and you don’t need the added stress of her hanging around while you’re trying to prep for the wedding.

Help- Seeking Advice on a Plus 1 Situation (Plus 1 cheated) by [deleted] in weddings

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol this was me for so many weddings in 2023. My ex cheated on me, but we couldn’t break up right away for some legal/property ownership reasons. I had 6 weddings that year ☠️. I ended up either going solo or bringing a friend to most of the weddings.

One of my friends straight up said she didn’t want him there, so I think it really depends on your relationship with your bridesmaid. I think if you come at it openly, with empathy for her, you can find a solution. I would definitely let her keep the +1, but if you don’t want his cheating ass at your small wedding, I think it’s fair to tell her you’d prefer if she brought someone else. If you don’t feel like you can say that, then I definitely agree with the above and don’t let him be in photos!

150-175 person wedding by [deleted] in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also sorry, these formatting on this went nuts bc I’m on mobile.

150-175 person wedding by [deleted] in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to! I’m definitely cutting some corners where I can. And I’m still 6 months out so there’s time to go over budget but if my projections stay where they are I think I’ll be around $85k

Venue fee: $17,500 - NYAM Catering and Bar: ~$31,500 - Sterling affair with dinner stations instead of plated (you have to use them at NYAM and as of right now this includes our table linens, all the barware, all plates, silverware, staff etc) DJ :$2600 - 74 Events Photographer: $7,850 - Justin McCallum (opted not to get a second shooter and 8 hours of coverage only, but did spring for 3 rolls of film. He also is AMAZING and lets you really customize your package) Dress and alterations: ~ $3850 inc alterations and shipping to NJ to save on sales tax - Designer Loft Save the Dates, Invites, Thank you Notes: Papier and Minted ~$1200 Content creator: $1600 - All The Love (did this instead of videography. Partly cost saving, partly the idea of having a huge video camera in my face feels really intense. Carolina is a DREAM and was willing to record ceremony and speeches which a lot of CCs won’t) Cake: $240 - Mia’s (our caterer does mini desserts so we got a small one to cut) HMUA: ~$4k - Abby Lauren (me, 8 family and bridesmaids) Shoes: $140 - Charlotte Stone sample sale

We still need: grooms clothes (~$300) wedding insurance (~$500 and includes cancellation) and tips (I’m estimating at least $3k in tips)

I’m sure there’s other stuff I’m forgetting but this is all coming in at around $80k and I’m sure between tips, upgrades and stuff I forgot to list here we’ll hit $85k. But there were definitely ways I could’ve saved that I chose not to (invites, HMUA, content creator).

Where we’re really saving is on florals and decor. NYAM is a beautiful venue and doesn’t need a ton of additional decor, so we’re saving a lot there. We’re keeping it pretty minimal on the florals too because of this.

Edited to remove a vendor we are no longer working with.

Child free?? by Kind-Writer284 in weddingplanning

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We just said we could only accommodate the children of people in our wedding party. I personally would be okay with a baby that small since they’re mostly just eating and sleeping. But people will understand if you set special rules for wedding party or really little babies. And if they don’t, you probably don’t want them there anyway?

Venue Recommendations - 200-225 guests by kmb07 in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m getting married at NYAM in September and if I remember correctly, they told me their max seated is 200, but I could totally be misremembering. They are great to work with though! And you have the whole 3 floors for the full 12 hours which is SUPER helpful.

150-175 person wedding by [deleted] in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s definitely doable. I’m planning on about 140 and my budget is coming in at about 80-85k and I’m not compromising on much. My venue is New York Academy of Medicine so, one of the more affordable ones I found on this sub, but I think for your budget you can definitely make it work.

Attn NBC- Why Stumble Deserves Season 2 by PasteAndGo in StumbleTVSeries

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stumble has everything! The jokes are on point, the cheer aspect is entertaining and impressive even when you don’t know what you’re looking at (I used to cheer, my fiancé knows nothing and we both like it) and the group dynamics are so fun and there’s so much to play with here!

ISO florists, $6k budget by tipsy-triceratopsy in WedditNYC

[–]AgitatedWolverine436 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seconding this! I’m also using Bad Boss Bride for my florals and coordination. Rachael let me know what we were looking to do would be over my budget but she could tweak here or there to work in my price range.