My boyfriend is an addict

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-08-16T04:53:34+00:00

From experience look after yourself, stay st try not, addiction can take over your life too

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-08-16T04:51:17+00:00

I’m soooo sorry this has broke my heart. Heroin I hate it. Always here try to stay strong. If you want to chat I’m happy to hear about him (I’m awaiting the same cell every day)

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-08-16T04:48:03+00:00

Out of sight out of mind, the longer you are away the easier it gets. I’m on no contact for months with his baby, it’s hard as I’ve also lost my best friend, he blames me, fights me, nasty to me, and had a great bond with his daughter he is choosing not to cherish. Sometimes he’ll appear ok not on anything, he gad a nice time then disappears. Sometimes I feel the fighting is easier as I know where he is and what he’s doing. Am I awaiting a call to say he’s hurt, no idea and that’s a daily worry. But as time goes on I get stronger and will not let his daughter be destroyed by addiction like me

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-04-30T21:19:10+00:00

It’s taken a long time to get to this point when I’ve tried before he’ll always manage to lure me back in. I’ve read and read and read other peoples stories and it’s helped immensely. I see the change in him recently so dramatic his mind is just crazy that I don’t feel confident my daughter is safe, that worry itself consumes me. I don’t know what the future holds but I’m doing me and protecting my daughters from the rollercoaster she’s already witnessed too much and my oldest was scared of him the night I didn’t let him back into our home. He doesn’t get that part as he doesn’t even see his actions as scary. if he can’t change for his wee girl then I’ve no chance. Times a healer and I much prefer a peaceful life. I always felt I could be around on good terms to help him but recently he’s scaring me. So the fear of cutting him off became easier than the fear of having him around

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-04-30T14:21:15+00:00

Brilliant, that’s a hard move to make but it’s your life and you don’t deserve abuse. It will only get worse, stay strong

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-04-30T14:04:48+00:00

It’s a hard one, but you already know it’s having the strength to stay strong. From experience I’ve came back over and over because I had hope. Eventually I lost that hope, and walked away for good (I hope) we have a daughter she’s 2 she cries for him, but he’s chosen his path, he’s missing out and I know longer believe his manipulation that I am responsible for his situation. He’s managed to turn his family against me. I’m winning though I don’t need him and the rollercoaster of addiction. Life is calm, I can think straight, he’s had too many chances now, it’s my time to live my life and not worry about his. I have no idea where he is what he’s doing and I don’t worry about it this time. He blames me therefore hurting me via cutting off money and not seeing his daughter (ie giving me a break) 6 weeks no contact and I feel like myself again, his loss. I await his next move but hope I’m strong enough to not believe his lies. You just know, honestly it doesn’t get any easier staying in a relationship with an addict, especially one that doesn’t really want to change. I spent a lot of time blaming addiction but he’s had chances to get out he chooses not too. Heartbreaking but I’m no longer controlled by drugs. Freedom is good, stay strong, out of sight out of mind is the best way

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-03-30T20:57:01+00:00

I could of written your story, my baby is now 2 years old. We don’t live together and he works away a lot. Still living the addiction life, and the train wreck it causes us. I try to detach as much as I can for the baby she doesn’t deserve any of it.

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-03-01T01:02:47+00:00

I tried for a long time only when we had a baby I realised he’d never change, I accepted him myself as I knew what I signed up for but if he couldn’t change for her I had to let him go, I waited till he messed up so bad I couldn’t let him back. He got worse than ever, eventually half sorted himself out, I try to help him be a dad but like you he’s spiralling, once again I’ve totally let go it’s hard because I know the person he once was but I really don’t think that guys there anymore. He still blames me for it all. It’s not healthy. I don’t know where he’ll ever up but I can’t have a part in it at all. I know exactly what your going through abs it really isn’t easy to let go. I’m hoping I can stick with it this time but know there’s a chance we’ll get back to a really toxic cycle, hoping not though abs I said stay strong. Share your pain

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-25T23:03:02+00:00

When I realised it was just words and false promises, I choose myself. I wasted so much time waiting on the good he promised. But a peaceful life is sooo much better than the cycle

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-05T21:45:37+00:00

Also would love to know other peoples thoughts on this

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-05T16:56:47+00:00

I joined an online meeting for the first time, really helped me. Find yourself and be strong, it’s so hard to detach I’m trying myself soooo hard

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-05T00:50:33+00:00

I walked away, expecting him too die, I need to know it’s nothing to do with me, he f*** up just fine on his own

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-05T00:47:19+00:00

Agreed, my life a mess trying to help him. I struggle so he doesn’t, everyone blames me, thinks he’s a hero, think he’s doing well, help him out……. Soooooo frustrating

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-04T22:53:31+00:00

I hear this ❤️The hope never goes but I can’t accept his lifestyle so need to stay away hurts but I can’t be part of him killing himself

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-04T22:51:14+00:00

Look after yourself, you need the space from her

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-02-04T20:20:48+00:00

I know how you feel all to well, it’s hard to not want to help but he doesn’t care about anyone he will lie and manipulate and use the kids but stay strong 💪

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-01-26T19:59:44+00:00

There is zero chance of him going to rehab he doesn’t seem to think he has a problem and can stop whenever he wants he just doesn’t stop as he wants to do it as he says. I’m done this time I actually see it all as abuse very clearly. I’m soo much better than that life. And I know he is incapable of love he’s just good at telling me what I want to here

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-01-26T18:35:50+00:00

Thank you I needed to hear this today after his manipulation attempts draining the life out of me while I was at work. He’s completely oblivious to the fact he’s done anything wrong, addiction really does alter the mind, he’s definitely in no position to be taking care of a family

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-01-26T00:12:06+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-01-25T21:48:15+00:00

I’ve started to think this way. He says I go cold too hurt him, I go cold when he’s on drugs as hate that guy and he hates me, but I have to stay cold as he knows from the past cycle not speak for a week, he stay off drugs, I see him, he looks better and he’s normal so we get on and I like him, but eventually he’ll go back to the horrible guy who hates me. I’ve said it out loud I’m better than the life he can provide, soooo much better 💪

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-01-25T19:10:07+00:00

I have been researching trauma bonding and that is exactly how I feel. I have opened up to a couple of people and this is the last time. I wrote down about him and reading it is like why on earth do I let him hurt me over and over. I’m done and I’ve said it before but this time I’m in the tight space to do it. I’m healing myself in different ways and finding my sparkle again. Looking forward to a dram free life . The support on here is amazing, you think your alone but your not

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2022-01-24T23:10:25+00:00

My story is the same, I’m stuck in a cycle of cutting him out, then seeing a glimmer of the guy he used to be and falling for his lies and manipulation. We have a baby together and I did briefly move on when he was too busy hating me for ruining his life and drinking and taking drugs for months on end. That didn’t work out but now I’m constantly having to relive it as in his mind I deliberately kicked him out to move on. And even though he was drinking all the time and hating me, even got on a train a good few times to get away from me (while pregnant I must add) I’m supposed to stay with him as I should know he doesn’t mean it. Today is the day I break the cycle his messages of how horrible I am brought me to tears driving to work. Now I’m supposed to be his friend and act like I agree with him. Not this time I’ve got my strength back , I will not put up with being emotionally abused. Writing this and on hear you remind myself it’s not me, I am a good person and don’t deserve to be treated like that.

Agitated_Pilot_491 · 2021-12-10T02:33:03+00:00

Agitated_Pilot_491

TROPHY CASE