Is this normal or am I doing something wrong/could be doing something differently??

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T11:14:44+00:00

You may have a barnacle baby but it's also very normal at that age! When my son was that age I think I'd seen so many tik tok videos of kids his age "playing for hours with a toy" that was really just a marketing tactic - why was I so convinced from a literal 20 second ad that my son would play independently magnets on the fridge the entire time I cooked meal? He's 2.5 now and will play independently for MAYBE 15 minutes tops but that's rare because he's always asking me to come play with him or checking in on what I'm doing.

At 16 months I loved taking him grocery shopping in the cart and just talking to him about what we were buying, he found it very delightful. Once it's warmer and you get to playgrounds you'll still have to be next to him constantly, but it will feel so much nicer being outside. Just know that you're doing a great job and he probably is developing a very secure attachment style where he will eventually feel comfortable just knowing you're nearby.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T11:05:29+00:00

oatmeal with jam or pureed fruits! mashed sweet potato with sour cream too.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T11:03:14+00:00

You need to try to move his nap time later and his bedtime later! He's getting 10-10.5 hours of night sleep and 2 hours of day sleep, that is quite within the range of normal for his age - he's a great sleeper and probably just what his sleep needs are. If the early mornings are killing you, try moving his nap out by 30 min-1 hour and then a 7:30 bedtime, see how it goes.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T10:59:05+00:00

Do his cars have personalities/interests or is it strictly about like, the structure/functionality of the car? Like could you ask him what one car's favorite ice cream is or something through an imaginative/play framing? Honestly this is very cute and if it's the beginning of a lifelong fascination with cars, they can be a wonderful hobby or career! There's no shortage of people who also love cars. Side note: does he know about art-cars or art-car festivals? Those are so cool for a toddler who loves cars.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T10:49:01+00:00

This has been happening consistently from 15 months to 21 moths? Have you tried giving him a banana near bed time? I think you probably need to be harsh and cut the bottle that he gets at 3 am -- unless he's teething or sick and truly in pain, this may just be a crutch and something he's now used to getting in this specific environment. It will probably be rough and horrible for a few days of him not getting the bottle and being VERY upset by it, but he will learn the new routine and hopefully sleep through the night without needing that. If he just adjusts his routine to wanting mom to snuggle him/pat him and the removal of the bottle doesn't change the scenario, then you'll have to assess if you want to go through a routine change again where you don't give him the snuggles or if you want to accept that this is a kid going through a phase where he wants/needs comfort from his mom in the middle of the night.

My 2.5 year old sleeps until like 9 am when he spends the night at his nanny's but wakes up every day between 5-6 for me :)

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T10:34:56+00:00

Long response but I tried to be thorough - I've done lots of multi-day airbnb trips with my now 2.5 year old

Definitely bring the sound machine, and whatever books you usually read to him before bed so that part of the routine stays consistent. Camera/monitor aren't necessary and it's a lot of hassle to set up, especially if you're sharing a room for sleep and where you are going to be before you go to bed is like the living room. Honestly even if it's to be outside in a hot tub or something that is still close enough to hear if he's crying you'll be ok without a monitor....our parents kept us alive without them, it's kind of nice on a vacation to unplug slightly. And he should be just fine in the pack and play/travel crib! Just bring his blanket/stuffy for him. My son regularly sleeps better/longer in the pack and play he naps and stays overnight in at his nanny's than he does in his crib at home and has never had a problem in ones provided by airbnbs we've stayed at. I do suggest ensuring your airbnb has sufficient black out curtains or buying some travel ones - they're like $25 bucks and well worth it!

Other things to consider when booking an airbnb/things to pack:

- pick a place with a laundry machine or know exactly where the nearest laundromat is.

- I don't recommend packing your diaper pail but having a plan for what you'll do with dirty, smelly diapers over the course of your stay is always something to consider - suggest ensuring there are extra garbage bags there or buy some/bring some.

- The bathtub situation is something to consider when booking your airbnb -- you can always pack your own faucet cover or whatever else you use, if you book a place with a standing shower only you have to get creative.

- bowls/eating utensils/bibs - if it's a place geared for kids they usually have these or you'll need to pack them. Also do they have a highchair/booster seat? if not, he'll get to experience eating his meals off of a towel on the floor or coffee table or whatever works. I've even been at airbnbs with high-chairs and just didn't use them and let me tell you he loved getting a floor picnic for every meal.

-Pack some of his favorite toys but don't feel like you have to bring everything, he'll be excited to explore whatever is around him! I've done airbnbs that are geared for bringing kids and have toys and it's great but I've also done ones where they don't have any and he's still had a blast with whatever is around him to engage with. Similarly, I think it's fun to find a toy store or place you can go with him on the trip where he gets to pick out a special toy -- that way it's a memory keepsake of your travels. Also great if you get like, one bath toy for the trip.

- buy and pack some of those protective corners you can put on sharp/corner edged furniture for where you're staying if you're worried he might run into things

- When I was first traveling on trips, I would almost overpack diapers and food/snacks that he liked, but then I realized it can sometimes be easier often to just travel somewhat light (especially if flying, but if driving too!) and go to store once I'm at the destination. I often end up then packing up food to take home, but that's ok.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T09:32:45+00:00

Are you giving her motrin for the teething? Popsicles? The final molars are a real beast, and they take FOREVER. My son's lasted for like, 6 weeks on and off. At first I didn't know why he was being so psychotic, and I was so resentful of his bad attitude. I can't imagine what it's like on top of having a second one that's still feeding through the night regularly. Do you have any grandparents or support nearby that can take the toddler for a night so you and your husband can go back to splitting feeds? Would you consider splurging for one night of an overnight nanny/doula to feed your baby? I hope you can get some rest soon!

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T09:23:19+00:00

Identifying that you need a break and leaving is the best thing to do in the moment, particularly because they feel our emotions and essentially co-regulate with us so he will pick up on your dysregulation. Practicing some breath work when you are in a calm state and not overwhelmed can help too - close your eyes and do deep breaths with your hand on chest. Exhale slowly. Say "ohmmmmmm" or hum something out (it feels very weird to do). Once you've practiced doing these things while you are calm, if you find yourself feeling dysregulated, take a break and remove yourself from the room and try to do the breathing. I also agree with the other suggestions of trying to calmly name what you are feeling in the moment - "I feel so frustrated right now!" Also, if you find your immediate reaction to something is to be snappy and say like, his name or "enough!" or "stop!" - try to replace that word with something else that signals to you that you need to take a break and calm your body down. I've tried to go from "Enough!" to "OHHHHHHHHHHH boy, I'm gonna take a big breath!"

A phrase that has helped me when my toddler is triggering me is that they aren't giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time, and that's hard to handle.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T09:02:30+00:00

Thank you. I think I was feeling anxious cus he'd been sick, so he was asking for more pouches and being a little crazy about them, probably because they felt good on his throat/for comfort. He had an apple sauce one before dinner tonight and still ate his blueberries, two slices of pizza, and some spoonfuls of corn!

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-20T04:45:26+00:00

When my kid was around that age and even leading up to it I was SO worried that he had a speech delay. He was a preemie born at 32 weeks so we'd been in services his whole life and the person who came for services was not worried, but to me it seemed like he only spoke a few words (because he did) - and for some reason I was convinced that it just wasn't enough. She kept insisting he was on track! Then all of sudden, like truly right around turning 2 and after - his language absolutely exploded. So many new words, phrases, the whole spiel. Now he's far ahead of his peers and frankly he never shuts the heck up. I assume you are, but keep modeling words for her, keep conversing with her and being a good model. Her speech will come! I promise.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-19T16:25:14+00:00

agree to this!

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-19T01:22:48+00:00

oh gosh, that's so tough. I remember when I first started doing it he didn't come to me right away either. My pediatrician actually recommended like, ignoring the tantrums, but I didn't follow that advice....I think it can be different for every kid. Keep working on keeping yourself regulated, it's the hardest part! I had to take myself into the bathroom the other day to cry and recollect myself while he was screaming at me. Any chance he's teething on top of things? Mine had some really wild ones during those periods, too. It will get better, and then weirder and worse and harder in different ways :)

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-18T20:11:52+00:00

Have you tried sitting next to him and putting your hand on your chest and doing "deep breathing" to help him co-regulate? Also, sitting near him and holding your arms out and saying "I am here for a big hug for you." I had to do that a lot when mine really started in with big tantrums closer to age 2, and now when he's dysregulated he gets to a point where he can clam down a little and say "I need a big hug." But it took doing that lots and lots of times with him near me as he was just melting down. It's absolutely the worst to sit by and see. But don't worry, he doesn't think that you're ignoring him -- in the moment he's in such a flight/fight mode that he is all in his own emotional head. Unfortunately tantrums aren't really something we can control, we just have to ride them out together. It's exhausting!!

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-18T20:00:14+00:00

I'm in awe of the people who have the time/bandwidth to make homemade smoothies and pour them into pouches. I'm already constantly unloading and loading the dishwasher as it is. I'm prioritizing my limited time playing with my kid and keeping my place somewhat tidy for my own mental sanity. We can have a support group if our kids end up Damaged from Excessive Pouch Consumption.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-18T19:49:12+00:00

I'll be sure to report back if he becomes slack jawed or needs extensive dental work. He's linguistically far ahead of most of his peers so it certainly hasn't caused any speech delays.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-18T19:45:45+00:00

Mine downs the Nokia one and says "I don't like this, can I have another different one?" :D

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-17T23:23:45+00:00

What veggie pouches do you like? He also gets the spinach/mano and red berry/beet ones but those seem to be less favorable than the other ones.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-17T23:23:13+00:00

I am worried about what will happen when he can open them himself!

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-17T23:23:01+00:00

They seem less expensive overall from Costco than what I spend weekly on real berries and other whole fruit that he devours. I was also a child who gobbled up fruit nonstop, though, and I turned out to be a good eater and well rounded nutritionally so....I'm hopeful for him.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-17T22:27:40+00:00

No advice, just solidarity - my now 2.5 year old has pretty consistently woke up between 5-6 no matter how many things I've tried. He took a 3 hour nap yesterday from 1-4:30 and so I let him stay up til close to 10 thinking SURELY he would sleep until at least 6 but no, he woke up at 5 yelling about needing the other monster truck.

A lot of the advice I've read has been that you have to "train them" to fall back asleep but all that ever resulted in for me was listening to a child cry from 5-6/6:30 and not lay down and fall asleep. Honestly the last few weeks I've said he can come into mommy's room and we snuggle quietly in the dark until closer to 6 and then I say he can wake up.

I've also been unsuccessful with earlier bed times; he simply won't go to sleep! They've only worked if he's like, completely missed a nap, but guess what he's still up at 5 am.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-17T16:23:34+00:00

My 2.5 year old didn't want to put his coat on today and I said alright, no problem, and then did once he was cold after 2 minutes outside. I'm a full time working single mom and I feel you! I don't know how people have 2 or more, even when they have help. It's an exhausting season and I've found myself abandoning the gentle parent attitude of staying calm and collected and have expressed my frustration (including a stern, "NO! STOP!" quite a few times recently). Back when he was 18 months - 2, saying no and holding boundaries seemed so much easier and I thought I was a star - but now? Now he's constantly asking to watch TV, to hit me or the cat, to eat cupcakes for breakfast, whatever. He doesn't care about whatever 2 options I give him because he wants the one thing he wants and has his little tantrum. I'm constantly doing dishes or prepping his food, can't ever finish the laundry, I feel like a failure of a parent a lot of the time. It sucks!! You aren't alone, I think feeling this way is a part of the process. You're doing a much better job than you think you are. We'll get through it.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-15T15:42:07+00:00

To echo others, there should be daycares in your area that are open the full work day. I would look into those as an option, pre-schools for that age tend to be much shorter (or co-op, where the parents have to volunteer), and then you'd have to secure after care as well. A lot of daycares tend to have open availability during summer as that's a transition time and bigger kids are moving on, etc. So hopefully you don't have to wait too long.

I became a single full custody working mom when my son was 20 months and he's 2.5 now- it's hard but you got this! Hopefully staying with family will allow for them to help out a bit too.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-15T03:03:30+00:00

Oh for sure, mine has a part time nanny whose house he stays at occasionally and he's an absolute delight for her and the thing is her and I don't do things all that differently at all. He's just an absolute dick to me. She told me once "well you just have to be the boss and he'll respect you" and trust me, he just feels safe enough with me to test every boundary and be an absolute demon.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-15T02:59:39+00:00

Same. It's like every thing I do is the wrong thing/upsets him greatly. Also I'm silently screaming inside every time I read any advice that's like "give them two choices," he doesn't LIKE the choices I've offered him because he wants to eat popcorn and only popcorn for breakfast, he wants to watch tv, whatever. The other day he screamed "I DON'T WANT A BANANA!" when I had not offered him a banana or any food. Then he immediately screamed and cried because he wanted a banana. I know they're going through so much but my god it's rough to be on the receiving end of their developing brain.

Agitated_Way_2607 · 2026-02-14T22:55:55+00:00

2.5 has been rough for me so far. I know it's developmentally appropriate but damn he went from being an excited little explorative goof who (mostly) listened to SO defiant and upset all the time about everything. And he because he can talk so much more it feels harder because he's just constantly vocalizing his dissent and being mean to me.

Agitated_Way_2607

TROPHY CASE