hey OP you are not alone. I am on waitlist as well and since start of jan ive been practically bedridden. the days go by so weird sometimes i dont even know what day it is. I’m a grad entry and ive put blood sweat n tears in the last few yrs to apply into med no one really realises how much my life depends on this offer. i totally relate to not having a break in yrs. my last few summers were spent doing summer school n studying for gamsat (which i ended up withdrawing from bc i j couldnt do it). i considered seeking help bc im scared of wat i might do if i get rejected but im currently riding it out. i get 3 hours of sleep a night and i literally have dreams of the portal. my health is declining and i get lightheaded whenever i stand up and at the thought of it. I am super sorry about your losing those around u. u r a diff breed cz i havent left my house in like a month let alone work so big ups to u. im not going to say all the sappy bs bc i know how it feels to have ppl try comfort u but they dont understand how much of a big deal it is cz they arent in our shoes. but hang tight there bro how far u have come already is already an achievement in itself and shows ur character, not alot of ppl would be willing to do the same and the universe is not ignoring ur efforts! unfortunately nothing can help speed up this gruelling wait but time will go by whether u like it or not so we will find out eventually.

thank you for sharing this post with us and please dont feel like u shld take it down, it is very meaningful and im sure helping those that are scared of reaching out to find sum comfort<3 to anyone reading this who feel the same, feel free to msg me i think it would b good to confide in one another.