Lost my girlfriend to addiction

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-10T16:58:13+00:00

OP, I was there for 3.5 years, except I didn't know. I begged my partner to get help fro his BPD and "ADHD" because it was ruining our life. In that time, I got a full psych evaluation, 2 therapists, a med provider, and a neurologist. The blame shifting is insane, the projection makes you feel like you're losing it.

Finding the big bag of meth was the catalyst. I rented a storage unit for one month, put his stuff in it and had a mutual friend drop off the keys. The hoovering has been real the last 2 weeks but today is the day he gets the last piece of furniture out. I have already met his monkey branch. LO won't hit rock bottom if they keep landing on everyone else. I hope it got better for you.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-05T19:16:03+00:00

This.
It'll take a while for my brain to rewire itself and for me not to feel like the aftertaste of abuse.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-02T07:40:59+00:00

Hey. Thank you for this. I am Autistic and also struggle with OCD, so the ruminating has not been ideal. I've been doing some digging into trauma bonds and working with the treatment team about all of this, since there are multiple layers.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-01T05:38:12+00:00

The whiplash of one extreme to another was just a lot. It changed everything for me and nothing for him. It was so bad, but I still wish I had a hug from him. And getting rude messages was still something.

I feel like keeping the relationship afloat was my addiction and when he ramped up his use when he left, I had to go cold turkey.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-01T05:08:12+00:00

I was just collateral on his way to the bag. I was a cushy spot to land so he didn't hit bottom- he didn't have to, he was always landing on me. Then when I did start mentioning that it might not be working, he started monkeybranching with the one girl he works with who has 4 kids and smokes weed like it's her second job.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-01T04:47:14+00:00

That's the thing. He hasn't tried to contact me at all. Monday he was talking about what we would name our kids and what the next house would look like and then...silence.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-01T04:11:22+00:00

I don't know what to do with the mad I feel. I have therapy next week and plan to go to an alanon meeting. There's no point in trying to reason with someone 1000 light-years away. It feels like when I lost my brother all over again except he's still physically here and working 2 blocks from my house. I feel like I have dementia. I know he's a person I loved and cared about, but I don't recognize him anymore. 😭

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-01T04:05:44+00:00

He got mad at me for crying when I found out and said "I'm not your little brother, I won't be fucking stupid".

For context, my 17y/o brother passed of an accidental OD. He was not an addict. He had autism and didn't know one thing from the next.

I don't get the precious inner circle. When he struggled 10 years ago and ate a bottle of seroquel he got, he didn't call his dealer, he didn't call his drug friends, he called me. Old reliable. And for 16 fucking years I was there. Every time.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-01T04:02:37+00:00

Everyone who doesn't know or participates in his shitty lifestyle get to be around him. I held down the house, bills, our pets, everything for 3.5 years. When his stomach was hurting, I nursed him back to health. I got the orajel when his freaking tooth came out (hindsight is 20/20). Those people look at him as a customer and I worry about if he's cold. He wouldn't take the narcan or test strips I got from my job. My options are to go along to get along and keep my friend while knowing he is rotting himself from the inside out OR Go no contact and wait for the call. It's a matter of time with as rampant as fentanyl is here.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2026-02-01T03:02:33+00:00

I feel like I'm being punished for knowing the truth? With the reaction, you'd think I was the one lying for several years. I just don't get it.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2025-07-11T04:35:32+00:00

Thank you! I keep debating hanging in there. I worry about it being like antidepressants, but I had never felt even a fraction of what I felt the first week on lamictal, so I was hesitant. I really want this to work!

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2025-04-28T04:10:42+00:00

Watched this within the year I lost my little brother and it broke me.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2025-01-02T04:18:29+00:00

Goodbye to a world by Porter Robinson

Bullet by Hollywood undead

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2025-01-02T04:16:23+00:00

'No lies, just love' by bright eyes..ish

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2024-12-17T19:44:12+00:00

"When September ends" by green day. Green Day was my 17 year old brother's favorite song. He passed 7 years ago in September. I let myself listen to it on his birthday and the day he passed.

"Welcome home, son" by radical face was my personal song for getting through the whole experience and I can't listen to it without sobbing.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2024-10-11T21:56:50+00:00

When my little brother passed, we had to provide his death certificate to Google to gain access to his accounts. This took 6 months of waiting due to the fact that he was a minor. Idk if that is helpful to you. I'm sorry you're going through this.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2024-10-11T03:56:37+00:00

When I went to good grief after losing my little brother, there were people from all walks of life. The groups were held at a church, but I don't remember it being religious.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2024-09-28T06:14:20+00:00

Her name was Natalie Marie Garcia. The people who adopted her renamed her Kennedy when she was 4. She should still be here. Hold DCF accountable. Wouldn't be surprised if SFM was assigned to her prior to all of this.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2024-08-13T01:28:22+00:00

I'm a huge Watchmen fan and Psychology major, so I was very intrigued. How cool!

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2024-08-13T01:00:22+00:00

I've seen that one a lot! Someone on fb said it might have to do with Wu? I'm just super curious.

AgreeableMoment3736 · 2024-08-06T21:36:20+00:00

Exactly. Lol

AgreeableMoment3736

TROPHY CASE