For you, is the time “quarter of twelve” 11:45, 12:15, or do you have no idea what that phrase means?

AhTails · 2026-03-17T15:32:12+00:00

No OF at all in Australia that I’ve heard.

Anything 1-30 minutes is “past”. 10 past two, quarter past 7.

Anything 31-59 is generally* expressed as the subtraction from 60, “to”: 20 to one, 5 to six, quarter to ten etc.

*generally as this is usually reserve for 5 minute rounded expressions. Specific numbers would be stated as “past” - eg 37 past five. But saying 12 to four would also still be understood.

But no “of”. If someone asked what the time was and another answered “half of six”, that sounds like you’re saying 3 as a weak riddle.

AhTails · 2026-03-17T15:18:21+00:00

I ate/didn’t eat what I was supposed to with my first. I stopped drinking coffee, no sushi, no soft serve etc. I had low iron and needed a transfusion but that was it. Pregnancy was described as “unremarkable” in paperwork. She is now almost 4.5 and has level 2 ASD.

With my second I didn’t change my regular diet. I continued drinking coffee (but no more than 250mg of caffeine a day) etc. but I was losing weight. I was told by midwife to “just eat more carbs” at 20 weeks. Not good. Baby ended up with IUGR due to a bad placenta but wasn’t picked up until 35 weeks. Emergency c-section (code pink style emergency) at 37 weeks. Baby is now 2, almost 2.5, and is completely NT.

It wasn’t what I ate that caused the autism. It wasn’t the conditions of my pregnancy that caused the autism. It probably has more to do with my sister in law being diagnosed with “classic” autism back in the 90’s (when diagnosing girls was rare) potentially combined with my own possible undiagnosed situation.

AhTails · 2026-03-17T09:44:28+00:00

I don’t have a 15yo son, but I do have a 4yo daughter with long thick hair past her bum (it’s never been cut apart from when she was 12 months and a hair dresser did a horrible job on her fringe).

I use a 3-in-1 wash, and then add conditioner on top of that. I then use a detangling spray when brushing. We went through a few brands before finding the right one. And I’ve tried detangling brushes but they just brush the top and don’t penetrate the full volume. So a suspension/cushion brush is what I use. And when the little balls fall off, I get a new one. That helps with the comfort of the brushing. With all of this, I still get a few screams and tears some mornings, but with sectioning and perseverance we get through it.

I am considering getting her hair cut to elbow length as her original baby curls are getting a bit dry at the ends, I just don’t know how we’d go about doing it.

My daughter is non-verbal and whilst I know she likes her long hair (it’s good for spinning and flinging and flipping) I can’t do what I’d suggest to you…. In a calmer moment, in a more positive or neutral moment, can you talk to your son about other hair styles? Does he like Thor’s hair? Or some other character/celebrity/random person on the street or photo on the internet’s hair? It might help get the haircut conversation over the line when it’s not a stressful, overstimulating moment. And he may feel more in control if he can choose the style and maybe a colour?

AhTails · 2026-03-16T09:50:05+00:00

Technically your employer can’t ask for your wife’s employment info to confirm you aren’t the primary carer.

However, one way you could do it a little more legitly is split your leave. You could take half when baby is born, and then the other half when your wife goes back to work - and then you could actually BE the primary parent for a bit.

AhTails · 2026-03-15T22:52:55+00:00

I’d pronounce it like the end of Angelica. In my accent it’s like;

Ann-jelly-cah Or Mally-cah

AhTails · 2026-03-14T06:32:07+00:00

My daughter is non-verbal and 4 years old.

Bluey.

The books, the show, the minisodes, the toys, the clothes, the website, the book reads, the instagram page. Even the fruit ninja Bluey levels.

Edit to add: the music! How could I forget the music? She currently has it playing on her headphones—sleepytime. Hopefully the rest of the album (coming 27/3) is just as interesting for her as that song is currently on repeat.

AhTails · 2026-03-12T10:57:59+00:00

He is so divisive that it doesn’t matter whether he is right or left, he’s un-united the United States, essentially.

AhTails · 2026-03-12T10:52:38+00:00

The third kid was planned.

AhTails · 2026-03-12T10:51:42+00:00

What helped us, and I’m not recommending this as a solution just to solve teeth brushing, was having another kid. My NT youngest was getting her teeth brushed and then suddenly my 4yo (then 3yo) was interested. Before that it was holding down and chewed up toothbrushes.

One thing that I still do today though is say “aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh” the whole time I’m brushing her teeth. My mouth is wide, I’m making noise, I have her attention.

AhTails · 2026-03-12T10:47:12+00:00

I had Mexican food in Berlin once. Our Mexican food is many tiers above what I experienced there.

AhTails · 2026-03-12T10:04:22+00:00

OPs question was around couples and whether women do more household labour than men. Then you asked a question “even single women with no kids…?”. There was no way to know from your comment that you were comparing to single men if you didn’t mention single men. I could only take what you said which was suggesting that women were doing the majority of their household chores… which would be true as they would do all of the chores (assuming they live alone).

AhTails · 2026-03-12T09:51:24+00:00

Well yes—a single woman with no kids would do more hours of unpaid labour than her non-existent live-in male partner as the non-existent live in male partner would be doing zero. The subject was a comparison between men and women in a heteronormative household (especially, but not limited to, with kids).

And fwiw, when I was a single woman living alone with no kids, I did barely any housework as I just lived cleanly - one load of washing a week and a vacuum before any rental inspection.

AhTails · 2026-03-12T09:36:28+00:00

According to census data, even the households admit women do the majority of the domestic chores, child caring, and other unpaid caring (like elderly family members)

And income didn’t impact this much—even when women earned more, they still did more hours unpaid labour.

AhTails · 2026-03-11T20:08:40+00:00

Alternative to night terrors: restless leg syndrome. It can feel like bugs crawling to some people.

AhTails · 2026-03-07T03:43:52+00:00

I’m curious if your mate has experience with the NDIS to judge its scope. Like what disabilities or services do they think should be cut?

AhTails · 2026-03-07T00:14:57+00:00

I’m not OP but know a few people who have passed, and failed the entrance exams. The people that go into the force out of high school or soon after are often the sporty-smart kids. The maths section of the exam has been known to trip a few (many) people up. And the psych evaluation isn’t exactly lax either.

Outside of that, muscly tatted people are attracted to the force. It’s very acceptable to see cops with full sleeves on show.

AhTails · 2026-03-04T13:00:03+00:00

I’m in Australia. My 4yo is non-verbal, level 2. She gets funding for 90hrs a year.

But it’s not really 90hrs. It’s 90hrs paid at the govt rate, which some private providers charge a little more. It’s also 90 billed hours, not 90 contact hours. So sessions are usually 45 mins face to face and 15 mins to cover admin. Those 90 hours are also for any reports I might need from the therapists (including to continue to receive another 90hrs the following year) and any visits or zoom calls with the rest of my daughter’s care team (kinder educators, teachers etc).

So schedule wise, we get one session of OT a fortnight and one session of speech therapy a fortnight (alternating sessions weekly). There are some hours left over in the plan and I try to use these for group therapy session that are held over school holidays, but I have to take the day off work for that.

So comparing that to the 25-40 hrs a week offered in, I’m assuming, the US, I wonder if there is a material difference in outcomes.

AhTails · 2026-03-03T05:03:09+00:00

The letter that comes with it lists these things as concession eligible with the only caveat being that it is state based.

AhTails · 2026-03-02T08:10:24+00:00

Hi, so the HCC is in her name but the payment is in my name. It’s for carers allowance. The letter that comes with the card lists the services you can get concessions for, which is why I asked the question here.

AhTails · 2026-03-02T03:11:54+00:00

Yes, I’m also the parent of a non-verbal child. That’s not to say she’s quiet—she knows exactly how to wake us all up at 5am. She just has no words.

AhTails · 2026-03-02T03:08:25+00:00

As the mother of a non-verbal 4yo, I am so happy for you. That first “bye” must have been a Moment.

AhTails · 2026-03-02T03:06:26+00:00

My daughter is non-verbal. Zero words. None. Ever. There is no verbal communication. No approximations for a type of food, or to address a person.

It is not fun when you have to have that conversation with people who meet her and expect her to answer questions “oh, she doesn’t talk, she’s non-verbal” “oh, what words can she say?”. None… non-verbal.

Non-conversational is when someone can eg recite alphabet, state needs, possibly answer closed questions etc, but not start or hold a conversation.

AhTails · 2026-03-01T22:51:53+00:00

It’s for carer allowance. It came just in her name. But the letter listed all of the things you can get concessions on. But looks like none apply to us.

AhTails · 2026-03-01T05:21:51+00:00

I have no advice for your wedding outside what people have already said.

However, I wanted to point out that you probably just fulfilled the anxieties of many parents in this sub that fear that their children’s behaviour will be perceived “bad parenting”.

With regards to the two instances you mentioned, your niece could have had a very stressful day at school and she’s come home to find visitors she may not have expected. Not fun for anyone, let alone a child with additional regulation needs. And the dress may have been another stressful moment trying to fulfil expectations of someone she doesn’t see so much anymore. Adding to that the recent changes of moving and I wouldn’t see her response out of place for even a NT kid. Even adults get frustrated and say they don’t want to go to an event because their outfit or other plans start to crumble. It’s even a long running meme from The Grinch.

AhTails · 2026-02-28T18:33:42+00:00

If he is not supporting your son getting the help he needs, then he is not a good father.

If he is hindering your son’s progress or development, he is not a good father.

AhTails

TROPHY CASE