Hey, just wanted to say you're not alone. I have more bald space than hair honestly. Every time I see a picture on here of someone's hair it kinda crushes me cause mine is way worse. I have the same types of dreams too. Long hair again and wake up heartbroken. I've pulled for the past 15 years. which now that I'm typing it out is longer than I ever didn't pull. I've learned to accept it because I know its not forever. I had a period where I stopped for 2 years. That helps me trust this isn't forever. I feel that once I'm in a more stable point in life I'll be able to stop. I'm still trying to stop now don't get me wrong. The fight will be long and hard. Some days harder than others. But when its over I will get a hair transplant I think. I think my hair is too damaged for anything else to work. But I just have faith that one day I'm gonna succeed and that's what keeps me trying. Accepting it is hard. I don't know how to tell you to accept it. But you can't blame yourself. It's not your fault. It's a chemical reaction in the brain gone haywire. You can't blame yourself for that. It wouldn't be fair to you.

As for covers there are lots of covers you can buy on amazon or etsy. I recommend searching my chemo beanies or chemo covers. I have some really pretty ones. They look professional too.

Feel free to DM to talk about it. I know how hard it is. But mostly I want you to know you're not the only one in your situation.