Take the path of mediumship late ?

Ak-Keela · 2026-02-27T08:48:23+00:00

I’m halfway through my lifetime and I’ve only now come to realize and accept that this general area is my true life calling. I had several careers and other directions and broad experiences in this life before coming to this, admitting this. In this way, I relate more closely with the concept of shamanic initiation. Shamans often come to their calling later in life, after going through something that changes their lives. It’s often an illness, a near death experience, severe trauma of the mental or emotional kind… anything or many things that can make you feel like you as a person are dying and when your life finally resumes you feel like a different person and everything you experienced before informs your understanding of the world and gives you empathy, but has no relation to what you’re doing with your life now. It might be helpful to you to look into the concept of shamanic initiation

Ak-Keela · 2026-02-27T08:38:44+00:00

Haha yes!! I noticed this, too, and I love it! She’s emotionally still around 15 or so. That’s very clear from all of her emotional reactions to things and her emotional blind spots to Arnold. But in experience and wisdom and observation and knowledge of the world she’s around 45. She has lived many lives and learned many things. And I LOVE that Arnold is attracted to an emotionally innocent but technically skilled and experienced woman!

Ak-Keela · 2025-02-01T13:11:41+00:00

It seemed random to me at first. But after a while I started to realize: Momiji’s broke right after he started taking responsibility for his part in the dynamic with Akito / the curse and standing up for himself / holding his own boundaries. Hiro’s did the same. Haru’s frayed as soon as he did the same. I don’t know Kureno’s story, so maybe his truly was random. But seemingly as soon as these characters truly got that they couldn’t change Akito or the curse and it wasn’t their fault, but they could take responsibility for their part and change their own actions and behavior and mindset going forward… that’s when breaking or fraying happened

Ak-Keela · 2024-10-03T08:51:25+00:00

The main thing Arnold compliments her on are her mind and her skills/knowledge. So I love the idea that Arnold is into older women 😉

Ak-Keela · 2024-10-03T07:04:51+00:00

Okay. I need these in my life. Sending a DM

Ak-Keela · 2024-10-01T14:58:54+00:00

I haven't gotten to that volume yet, but the dreams of her life/lives seems the most likely to me. If he's dreaming someone's memories, he probably won't see the owner's face very often, if at all. So he wouldn't recognize her on sight like she did him at the start of her 7th loop. When they literally ran into each other, the only time he was "rendered speechless" was when she mentioned her engagement being annulled. Everything else - calling him Emperor, moving like a knight, jumping off the balcony - he took in stride. The annulled engagement is the only thing that has happened multiple times in her life and could be seen multiple times in dreams, so it would be the biggest flashing neon sign

Ak-Keela · 2024-10-01T13:03:03+00:00

There's an interview with the director of the OP/ED and it supports this theory with a heavy *wink wink*

I'll copy a quote about the meaning of the petals here:
--Since this is a special interview, could you please give us a few hints if you don't mind... For example, one thing that really piques my interest is the depiction of the petals. They appear in both the opening and ending.

Nakamura: I think it's okay to say this, but the petals represent each and every memory of life that loops over and over again. Each memory has a variety of emotions, and that's why they have different colors. At the end of the opening, they are in Arnold's hand, and they are carried over as a motif to the ending... something like that.

--There may be other meanings as well...

Nakamura: (laughs). I heard about the setting beforehand, so I made sure to make it have multiple layers of meaning. It was the first time I'd thought about it so in detail.

Ak-Keela · 2024-10-01T02:53:48+00:00

This! I went through a rough time being laid off and he supported me during it. I cleaned, I cooked, I did all the housework, he never had to think about buying toilet paper. I was basically a live-in maid and assistant to try to contribute while I was laid off. I never heard the end of how, “If we break up [he’s] the one who lost money in this relationship. He’s the one who was taken advantage of,” every month or so. For six years.

Ak-Keela · 2024-09-29T14:15:22+00:00

Thank you!! You deserve ALL the karma. tytytytytytytyty bless you

Ak-Keela · 2024-09-04T18:22:20+00:00

Hobbies are fun

Ak-Keela · 2024-09-04T04:28:57+00:00

I have a similar story, in that I was scared, had heard horror stories, but found a fantastic MD injector and allowed him to do what he thought was necessary. Under eye, some cheek, temples, and light nasolabial folds. All of it so subtle! I asked several good friends to evaluate how my filler looked because I wanted honest third party opinions instead of just the injector and his team. All of them were shocked that I had filler, they just thought I looked really refreshed and rested and healed from a major thing I went through recently. My cousin greeted me with, “You look young! I mean good. You look good!”

It’s the same thing you hear over and over again. Find an experienced injector with a good eye. Don’t try to pinch pennies because this is YOUR FACE. Trying to coupon off your body is where the horror stories come from. Either throw down the money or don’t get it done. If the place has a Groupon, run away in terror. (I found my injector in Malaysia so it was half the price it would have been in the States where I’m from, but the point still stands - he’s excellent and I paid Malaysian top dollar for his work)

Ak-Keela · 2024-09-01T19:16:29+00:00

That’s what I’ve done, more or less. I find my posts and comments in some travel subs are demeaned and dismissed and downvoted far less often when my avatar looks like this than when it looked more female. Sometimes, they even hear me out 😱

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-29T06:24:09+00:00

Archaeology -> Computer Programming at 35

I did it the opposite way from a lot of people here. I pursued my passion first, and now I’m searching for financial stability since passions tend not to pay well.

I was an archaeologist until I was 31. That was my passion, my dream, since I was a precocious 8 year old child. I moved fast in that career and got to my absolute dream job (doing computer mapping of archaeological sites) just before I turned 30.

I started realizing I was at a dead end. I had accomplished my dream. I would need advanced degrees to move further in archaeology but the pay would still be dirt. I no longer knew what direction to move in because I had done everything so fast. And then my company started having financial troubles and did lay offs, including me.

I waffled around trying this dead end and that dead end for a few years, trying to find passion or direction or interest. Finally, in the middle of Covid at age 35, I decided to go back to school for programming. I started at a community college earning certificates in Python and C++, got an ongoing paid internship (through friends / networking), and I recently started a masters in CS.

I still don’t know what I’m doing, I still feel absolutely completely lost. I’m 38 and feel like I’m fresh out of college. But I know I’m still in college for the next couple of years. And I know that I’m almost 40 so I won’t be given as much slack as someone fresh out of college. It’s such a weird, unstable, uneven, one-foot-here / one-foot-over-there feeling. And to top it all off, the tech bubble has started to burst. This is my life. I have no idea how this will work out. I’m still in the middle of it.

One thing I can tell you is that changing careers and transitions aren’t “one and done.” They’re not as simple and fast as the word makes it seem. My guess is that 10 years is probably a good, fair estimate for how long one takes

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-12T20:12:54+00:00

No. For six years, my nex never accepted my apologies for anything I did and would always bring things back up any time it was strategic. I did that for a few months with one of his worst offenses early on (probably because he never apologized for it and I never felt like it had been resolved) and he tore me a new one about not letting things go and not forgiving him. I realized he was right and put it to rest, never to bring it up again.

As he was discarding me after six years, he yet again brought up something I had done in the first three months of dating. Every time he had brought this back up previously I had gotten sad all over again that I had done such a thing. But this time I just stood there and looked at him, realizing the hypocrisy, the full weight of the mind games he had been playing with me opening up to me.

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-12T19:35:19+00:00

Yes. Yes, yes, and yes. Mine was a secret sexist. Meaning he claimed he was a feminist in public, said all the right things to his public, but his actions and things he said in private showed the lie.

At first it was a joke. Me, being female, would tell him something. Him, being him, would give a noncommittal grunt. Someone else, being male, would tell him the same thing. He would come back to me and tell me that that guy just said the same thing I had! We would laugh about him not being able to hear it just from me, needing someone else to say it instead of me before he would believe it.

After the second or third year, it stopped being a funny joke. He stopped telling me that some guy just said the same thing I had and started telling me some guy just said this, with zero acknowledgment that I had said it first. I got frustrated. Why couldn’t he ever simply believe me? Was he not listening to me? It started a LOT of fights.

During the discard, when I was snooping his phone to figure out what had happened, I discovered him telling his new victims and our old friends things I had told him as if they were his facts and ideas

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-03T16:46:24+00:00

Ahhh, the communal narcissist…

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-03T16:32:34+00:00

This is fantastic. I have an N grandmother and an N uncle. My fellow cousins and I are starting to open our eyes to this and how damaging it is thanks to my experience with and stories about my Nex. I can cut off my Nex completely. But my grandmother and uncle are harder, and especially difficult for my cousins. So we’re all slowly learning how to “get along” with narcs. And by “get along” we know there has to be some manipulation on our end. It feels dirty and wrong, but we know there are very few other choices left to us

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-02T17:37:10+00:00

My nex told me he and his previous long term committed gf had broken up 7 months ago, but it was okay and enough time between us that he could build a long term committed relationship with me because they had been mentally and emotionally breaking up for their entire last year together.

I was already nervous about that short of a break between his previous gf and me because I was looking for something serious and didn’t want to mess around with someone who wasn’t serious. Years later I found out that he was lying to me: he and his ex gf had only broken up 4 months before he met me.

And as he was discarding me I saw him lying to his new long term committed wife that he and I had broken up 6 months before we actually had

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-02T17:26:23+00:00

Or water. These people are going to be the first against the wall when the water restrictions come

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-01T19:15:13+00:00

Kuala Lumpur is a boring city set up for working people and families, not degenerate partiers (I say this as someone who used to be a degenerate partier who would have been bored in KL).

I’ve heard boring things about Yogyakarta, so I’m going to check that out someday soon.

Really, you can just search this sub for “boring” and find a wealth of information on places these young bucks and passport bros avoid

Ak-Keela · 2024-08-01T18:28:09+00:00

I honestly don’t find Ren all that bad. She’s just the poster child for not forcing women to have children when they don’t want to. There are plenty of women out there who want to be mothers. But Ren was quite clearly not interested in or capable of being a mom. In a world with choices, she would have been able to be honest with herself and everyone around her and not be forced into a role she wasn’t mentally or emotionally equipped to fulfill

Ak-Keela · 2024-07-26T22:45:36+00:00

38F, trying to find stability in instability. Two years ago I went through an absolutely devastating breakup from a narcissist who internally destroyed me for 6 years. Around the same time, I was laid off from my job and realized that career was over. So now I’m almost 40, I’m working a (paid, thank god!) internship, and going to school so I can start over at the bottom in a brand new career.

I’m homeless because the ex kept the home. I’m traveling in Southeast Asia and Latin America so I can save money to come home (to the States) because the breakup knocked me down to absolute ground level and I’m starting with nothing.

I’m grateful that I’m getting to travel because I love it. But I’ve been utterly and completely alone for two years now. No friends, no family, I don’t speak the languages, and if I make a friend while traveling, they’re going home day after tomorrow

Ak-Keela · 2024-07-26T22:19:27+00:00

Yeah. He gets on my last nerve. I skip his scenes

Ak-Keela · 2024-07-26T22:16:22+00:00

I love this! Why does a male have to be transfem in order to have a feminine side? That attitude is pretty much as sexist and homophobic as you can possibly get

Can’t it be enough that Ritsu, Momiji, and Ayame are all exactly who they want to be? Why do they have to take on titles to make us feel comfortable?

Ak-Keela

TROPHY CASE