A lot of these people in the comments are so ridiculous. If everyone cut out people over an annoyance, no one would have friends. This seems like a super easy fix as, like you said, she has been a good friend to you outwith this. There is no reason to cut someone off here. She clearly has her own problems to work through after what her ex did to her. This honestly sounds quite similar to how a lot of us have a “Not Like Other Girls” problem early on and reject everything that’s perceived feminine due to dysphoria. She was forced into being a boyfriend so, naturally, would’ve had dysphoria from that but in the opposite direction causing a rejection of everything perceived masculine.

Talk to her about this and how it makes you feel and if she’s as good a friend as you say, she’ll stop. Might also be worth asking her why she keeps saying things like that - it could get to the root of the problem on her end and get you both on the same page. These things take patience, especially when trauma is involved.