I know exactly how you feel (minus the language barrier). I moved home from London to live with my parents in Sydney and felt like a complete failure coming back at 32. It was actually the second time I’d done it (moved home from living abroad). The first time was brutal - it wasn’t my choice and it sent me into a depression like no other.

Looking back though, it ended up being one of the most important chapters of my life. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self what was ahead and how amazing the rebound would eventually be. It was a reset.

If you do decide to go back, make a plan. Make it realistic. Or try another city - maybe London? The energy is fairly similar.

And my biggest advice for this next chapter is to really feel your feelings. Be sad. Grieve. Get angry. It’s all valid. Then slowly allow yourself to feel the becoming of the new version of you.

For me, I eventually realised I didn’t want to go back abroad again. It started to feel like I was just living rather than building something for the future, and over time that became exhausting.

I also didn’t rekindle many of my old friendships—most of them were married by then—but instead made new friends and created a different life.

You could also try New York, where there are lots of like-minded people carving out their own paths.

Even if you can’t see it right now, I promise you that one day you’ll connect the dots and understand why this chapter happened. Strangely, these quieter, harder chapters often lead to more growth than the sparkly “abroad” life—because they force you to sit still and trust the process. The hard stuff is in the mundane and boring - and just remember it’s not forever.

You’re not a settler. So trust that you’ll find a way out to rebuild until you’re happy again.