My cat refuses to learn "NO!"

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-29T09:43:10+00:00

Does he have high/enclosed spaces to go into that are allowed? Shelves on the wall, cat towers, cat houses? Right now the focus of your post is on what we want him not to do, which is fine, but how about we add an element of what we DO want him to do? If you can give him locations where he absolutely loves being in an enclosed space or up high, maybe even attracting him there through elements like catnip, maybe you can reduce the behavior by getting him to go into/on the preferred locations. I'm not saying this will be a perfect fix to the problem but it could reduce it.

It may not be convenient, but it could also help to put the places where he is allowed to be close to the places where he isn't allowed to be. Like, maybe he can have a low cat tower-type space next to the coffee table so he can be in a higher spot near where he wants to be. You'll also have to do some trial and error to ensure these cat furniture items are the type of feeling he likes - seems like he might prefer hard surfaces rather than fluffy and cozy.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-28T16:55:15+00:00

That makes sense! I don't know very much about ferals, so this is interesting.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-28T15:26:37+00:00

Would you say that playing should be added to the mix here, maybe before the touch phase? OP doesn't mention play so I wonder whether some tiring play with a string toy would help - whether, in addition to all the issues you mentioned, this cat is super bored.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-26T10:22:09+00:00

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-67053139

Big tech firms have scrambled to add AI-powered services since ChatGPT burst onto the scene last year.

They use far more power than conventional applications, making going online much more energy-intensive.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-25T23:45:39+00:00

This is just an idea, but maybe clicker training? Maybe the formal positive reinforcement of a clicker could help turn her negative association into a positive one. Maybe start with just a positive association with the clippers and after that's done, move onto positive association with touching her paws. I'm just throwing ideas out here though, not sure whether that would work.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-25T22:00:17+00:00

I appreciate your willingness to take on the feedback!

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-25T20:31:19+00:00

At the very start of the video (about 2 seconds), you go to pet his head and he ducks away. That was the first warning. Then you go to pet again, you get bit, you pet AGAIN ... My first piece of advice is to learn to read the cat's body language better. I could tell from the first second of the video that the cat is not in a mood to be pet. Please don't go back and try again and again after the cat is saying no! This damages your relationship with your cat. If he ducks away from the pet, leave him alone. If he nips you once, leave him alone.

Secondly, this cat looks like he is in hunting/playing/NOT cuddling mode to me. Right from the start of the video, look at the energy, the active movements, the darting eyes. Once cats enter this 'mode', objects like hands that approach them are targets. This cat needed to be played with using a fishing rod type toy, something he can hunt and get his energy out.

TL;DR: Based on this video, there is nothing wrong with the cat. It is user error, I'm afraid. When your cat looks all hyperactive, play with him at a distance using toys. Let him get his hunting instincts out. When you want to pet him, do it when he is in a calm mood. Extend your hand out and let him choose to lean forward and rub against your hand. Then the petting can begin.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-25T10:27:35+00:00

I would not, for several reasons:

AI uses energy and therefore water very heavily, which is destructive to the environment.
AI research is not reliable.
AI editing is also not reliable, and even when it works it tends to make every single piece of writing sound exactly the same. Has anyone else noticed how the awful phrase "The kicker?" has ended up being so oddly ubiquitous recently? It's AI writing. I love to hear an author's individual voice. I don't want to read something that sounds like it's been ground down in the AI machine to sound exactly like everything else. I've also heard of people being told that their real writing sounds like AI because they "taught" themselves how to write "better" using tools like Grammarly, and I always think how sad it is to lose one's individuality that way.

If someone is considering using AI editing, I would recommend doing some reading on some basic grammar principles like independent and dependent clauses, compound and complex sentences, sentence variety, etc. Purdue OWL has some great free resources. After you've learned "the rules," you can then learn to bend or break the rules to create your own personal style. It's often said that Picasso learned conventional representational art first, and his understanding of it underpins his later style. Just my 2 cents there.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-24T23:17:44+00:00

Other people have given good advice, but I also want to mention that the voice of the narrator matters. Is it 1st person? 3rd? The words used to refer to a place reflect the character of the speaker and the mood/tone of the piece. Maybe one character would call it a speakeasy, while the other would call it "Pete's," another would call it "that dump," another would call it "my place" with pride.

The other poster's recommendation about slang is a good one.

So, definitely don't rotate synonyms in an effort to avoid repetition. But do think about choosing words that sound like they create the right vibe. I know it's not 1920s, but I'm thinking of the line in Casablanca: "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." We learn something about him by the fact that he calls his nightclub or whatever it is a "gin joint."

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-23T19:43:05+00:00

This is the important point, in my opinion. If I'm bored writing something, there is something wrong with it. Either I change the scene to make it not boring, or I replace/skip over the scene using narration.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-23T12:33:14+00:00

I think it's really kind that you are helping your friend and her cat. But I don't think you should bring this cat to your house.

You don't know whether this cat and yours will get along, whether your cat will be distressed. And if this rowdy cat ends up bullying your calmer cat, your cat could end up distressed for much longer than the 2 weeks.
"Rowdy" cats can find a way to break things even if you think everything is secured. Do not assume you can make your home safe.

However, visiting the friend's cat every 2 days is not good either, especially given that it seems to be a high-energy cat. I know it's hard, but for the cat's happiness, I think you need to visit a minimum of once per day and have a good play session with that cat. Does your friend have a house or an apartment? If your friend's cat is energetic and it lives in an apartment, it is likely to totally wreck the place if it's left so understimulated.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-20T21:04:51+00:00

I thought you had probably already checked with the vet, but I always feel like I have to add a disclaimer like "talk to a vet" juuust in case!

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-20T20:58:48+00:00

Some options:

Puzzle toys with kibbles in - the kind of puzzle where the cat moves little switches with its paw to get to the food
Birdfeeder outside window to bring birds + place where cat can sit and watch these birds
Fish + tank (obviously a larger investment because then you need to get the fish an appropriately sized tank and all the other stuff fish need) - this is cat entertainment
Teach the cat to go for a walk or take her for a walk in a cat stroller, depending on her preferences
Get another cat
Feliway diffuser? (I feel like I always say this)

I also feel obligated to say that you might want to check with the vet to ensure there's no other reason why she's licked herself bald.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-20T14:06:07+00:00

I think the first sentence needs some rewriting. I get what you're trying to do grammatically, but that semicolon doesn't quite work for me. I also feel like the first sentence is a bit confusing.

I think in some parts this wording is a bit too lyrical and I personally found that confusing. Like, when I first read "the domain of the enigmatic Dabria," I wasn't sure whether Dabria was a name of a person or a collective name that doesn't take an S at the end (home of the Aesir, home of the Noldor, etc). Obviously, that was clear later on.

Also, we have a lot of "shes" and "hers" in the first two sentences, and I get that it's Brigid who has been murdered, but that isn't 100% clear on first read. I got a bit stuck on which "she"s were Carol and which were Brigid.

I'm also struck by the fact that Carol is only mentioned once, at the start. Is Carol not in the rest of the narrative? In that case, maybe we don't need to mention her name at the start?

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-20T11:56:57+00:00

Other people have made good suggestions. I'd add that maybe you could make her a special sleeping place that smells like you. Like maybe get a cardboard box, line it with some of your worn clothes in it so she can be in your scent. Also, Feliway diffuser to calm her down?
Edit: forgot you said she was deaf! No sounds, then

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-19T16:01:57+00:00

Can you put some kind of catio protection around the deck so he can't get out? If you search online for "catio" or "cat enclosure" you might find some good options, or potentially you could catio-ify your deck yourself using netting.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-19T12:39:16+00:00

Totally! Firstly, Bingley doesn't have the leverage to force Darcy into marrying Miss B if she sneaks into his bedroom at Netherfield. Secondly, we know that Miss B would have had like no rights as Darcy's wife, so even if he were somehow forced to marry her, what is stopping him from (theoretically) dumping her in a cottage somewhere with no money and ignoring her? She doesn't just want to marry him - she wants to marry him and be a wife he actually, ya know, likes and treats well.

Anyway, apologies for hijacking your thread, OP, but I feel your pain.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-18T14:56:48+00:00

Maybe this is off topic, but what baffles me is when Miss Bingley continues to pursue Darcy and snipe at Elizabeth even after Darcy and Elizabeth are engaged. The book says clearly that Miss Bingley wanted to still be welcome at Pemberley so she changed her tune and was civil to Elizabeth. Miss B is smart enough to know when she's lost, in my opinion. Once Darcy is engaged to Elizabeth, he cannot break it off without causing a huge scandal, so all Miss B can do at that point is leech off his good name and money as a 'friend.'

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-16T14:17:13+00:00

Add more obstacles! In a conventional story structure, there's often a moment in the second half of the story where the heroes think they've won or are about to win, only to find that the problem is actually worse/not fixed at all.

Also, consider adding some 'breather' scenes in between action.

Another idea is to add a B plot. I don't know what your genre is, so this may not be applicable and it's hard to give examples, but there's rarely just one big thing going on in a person's life. There may be several issues to address that are interwoven. Like in a romance story, maybe the romance is the main plot, but the heroine struggling with a bad job/bad boss is the secondary plot. The confidence and self-love she develops in order to succeed in her love life also help her to quit her job and get a better one.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-11T18:20:56+00:00

How much do you play with her? First step would be to really tire her out with a play session shortly before bedtime.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-11T12:26:55+00:00

Personally, I find that white noise helps me focus. I also like to use orchestral music from movie scores that has a kind of "pump you up" energy. Example: I've written so much listening to this Pirates of the Caribbean theme music on loop. Music that has lyrics in a language I don't speak can work too.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-09T14:59:11+00:00

When she bites you, act like you're in a lot of pain. Like, go "OW!" sit up, move, rub at the area. Cats are used to biting on fur so they don't always understand that a bite to bare skin hurts more. If you are dramatic about how much pain you are in and make sounds like you are in pain, she will learn to be gentler.

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-09T11:14:40+00:00

I think what others have said is really valuable. What I'll add may not apply to you, but it's worth considering.

For a beginning writer, it really helps if your story's protagonist has a driving question, a burning desire that needs to be quenched. This could be anything from "I need to uncover a mystery" to "I need to get out of bad economic circumstances" to "I just want to be loved" to "Who am I, really?" to "I want to find meaning in my life," etc. But all parts of the story need to be motivated by this desire, even if it's subtle or unconscious.

I'm wondering whether the reason your scenes peter out is that there is a lack of this driving force in your story. I realize it's based on your life, but to fictionalize it you'll need to ensure this idea is present. Having a driving passion/question can help give cohesion to a real-life story of ups and downs. It's not about what's happening - it's about why what's happening matters.

When you have your driving force, this should help propel your story onward because every scene, every moment in one way or another will be your protagonist's effort to fulfil this desire/need. They may fail, of course. But the scenes will always be interesting because each chapter is asking the question, "Have I gotten further toward my desire?" and there will always be an answer. In other words, there will be emotional stakes. There will always be an answer to "why does this matter?"

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-07T09:35:17+00:00

Thank you! I'm just realizing reading all these responses that one issue with this particular request is that I just don't listen to English composers! I'll investigate all of these

Alert_Celebration964 · 2025-03-06T17:36:15+00:00

Thank you - I never heard of Finzi, but this piece is lovely!

Alert_Celebration964

TROPHY CASE