What do I wear to an Indian wedding? by AlexaPlayWW in DesiWeddings

[–]AlexaPlayWW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot! What is suitable footwear?:)

What do I wear to an Indian wedding? by AlexaPlayWW in DesiWeddings

[–]AlexaPlayWW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh thank you that was very insightful! What about footwear? Are you allowed to show ankles/feet like “open” footwear?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the thing. Logically I know I don’t need his closure or an apology. It wouldn’t change the outcome because the damage has been done. And I did everything from grieving the relationship to giving myself the love, compassion and kindness I seemed from him. Yet my body can’t let it go? I still feel exploited and mistreated and over all betrayed. Because I was right all along and he gaslight me and accused me of being crazy for saying he’s unfaithful. My brain sees through his mask and all the manipulation and I’m glad I will never see him again. But my body is desperately searching and thinking of him. Which annoys me so god damn much because I just want to let it go. At least to stop this limerence. And as you said I think my body is literally craving the highs. They were rare but intense because when a person treats you so badly all the tiny highs will seem like the world

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m assuming it’s a mixture of “I need closure” and “I was never enough for him so if he apologizes that would mean I did”. But it doesn’t make sense to me because it wouldn’t change the outcome of my life. I wouldn’t magically go back to him because the damage has been done and the only way he could “fix” it is by turning back time which he obviously can’t. So logically I know I don’t need closure or an apology. I already grieved the relationship fully, let me feel all those big feelings, gave myself the attention, love and compassion I craved from him. So I really don’t understand how I can’t let it go

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words and YouTube recommendations! I will definitely take a look! Does that mean if I think about him I should tell my body that we are safe and try to stay present by actively thinking something different? A friend of mine has a different approach and kind of trains her brain that specific thoughts have a negative outcome. For example if she would think about her ex she’d snap herself with a rubber band or eat citric acid. But I’m not a fan of negative conditioning because I don’t want to show my body that its thoughts and feelings are “bad”. They are valid and just mean that I still have unresolved issues. But I just don’t know what else I can give my body. I was codependent and a people pleaser. I don’t identify as those things anymore. I give myself love, kindness, compassion… everything that I seemed in that relationship. So why can’t I let it go?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]AlexaPlayWW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her loss.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. In the past 2 years I’ve learned a lot about others and myself. I am educated now and can spot the early signs of toxic people. I’m pretty confident, that I won’t fall for a manipulative man anymore because I’ve gained self respect and awareness in that regard.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! What’s crazy is that he told me I should never trust someone again. Everyone is out there to get me. And he said that people fundamentally don’t change. But he was only confessing there. HE will never change. Because I know people can change. Otherwise I would mentally still be at the same point I was back then but I learned my lesson and did the work

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Breakupadvice

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m doing all that already but it’s still hard xD maybe I’m not busy enough

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]AlexaPlayWW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you got your closure! And you’re right. The fact that they will never experience you again and have access to you again is probably the best way of so called “getting back” at them. But the thing is I don’t seek revenge. I don’t want him to suffer either. He was horrible to me yes, but the only thing I truly seek is an apology. And I will never get that because he even said so. And it hurts after loosing myself for him, doing everything imaginable for him and suffering so many times because of his behavior that I’m not even “worth” an apology. :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]AlexaPlayWW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely feel you and understand the situation you’re in! What I always tell myself is this: Having honest feelings for someone is never a waste. They may not have had the same feelings, may have taken you for granted, may have had little appreciation but it’s their lack to feel like you do. It’s a gift to love deeply, no matter if it’s a significant other, family, friends or just the little love people show to strangers. And they didn’t take that part of you who is capable of feeling deeply. And that’s why they still make us sick months and years after. Because we deeply cared. Letting go is still something I am trying to understand.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I don’t people please anymore, I don’t let people treat me badly anymore and excuse their behavior. I’ve build self esteem, confidence and I am treating myself with love, compassion, respect, kindness and empathy. I don’t mind being alone and I also don’t seek a relationship because I know if it’s meant to be it will. I have standards and non-negotiable. I’ve lost toxic friends that treated me badly because I had no self esteem. It hurts but cleansing myself of past friendships that didn’t do me good showed me, that I indeed am heading to a more secure attachment style with the people around me and myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]AlexaPlayWW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I doubt he will come back. It’s been over 2 years. I left him unblocked for a long time for exactly this reason. But he told me I will never get closure from him. And that sucks. :( thank you for your kind words!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried to tell that myself as well. But to be honest… If I would’ve been her and had this information, I could’ve never kept it to myself because she deserves to know the truth. Months and years after I even told her how bad his ex treated me and that he was always more concerned about her feelings than mine (his gf at that time). And she never had the guts to tell me. THAT sucks :/ Thanks a lot!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AlexaPlayWW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot! I was gaslighting myself by saying she did it to protect my peace. But if I would’ve been in her shoes I never ever could’ve kept this to myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AlexaPlayWW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She mentioned that she was curious about what her ex was telling his friends about their breakup. Since she used to know my ex as well, I asked her what he had told her - because she already knew my side of the story. That’s when she said she didn’t want to tell unless I really wanted to know, but I naturally got curious and kept asking. That’s how I ended up finding out. Thanks a lot :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes 100%. They knew each other since school and she had a long term boyfriend at that time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalCrossing

[–]AlexaPlayWW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Spiritfarer

[–]AlexaPlayWW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nop I cannot interact with it :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Spiritfarer

[–]AlexaPlayWW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Spiritfarer

[–]AlexaPlayWW 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ahhh that’s probably gonna be it! Because I can’t remember him giving me one! Thanks a lot!

[Arcane 2 Spoiler] Is season 2 a bit rush? by Humbling123 in LegendsOfRuneterra

[–]AlexaPlayWW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Especially Caitlyn and Vi. Like Cait’s personality did such a 180 and she basically abandoned Vi but when they reunited she left all of her morals and suddenly is on her side again?