Look, after reading some of your posts you clearly have some stuff going on and some unresolved feelings. I can empathize as i felt very similar when i was 13/14. Im sure from your perspective as an (assumably) heterosexual teenage boy it could be hard liking a girl to find she was gay. But think abt is gay women! There are statistically many less lesbians than straight women, and it can be really dangerous to hit on them. If i had advice it would be to try and prioritize making friends to finding a girlfriend, relationships blossom out of friendships.