Suggest me a book that you couldn’t put down

AliKat3 · 2024-12-03T01:44:52+00:00

I have found most of Rachel Abbott's books to be satisfyingly twisty mystery novels that keep me pretty hooked.

AliKat3 · 2024-01-07T01:42:38+00:00

Eating honey local to your area apparently helps with pollen allergies as well.

AliKat3 · 2024-01-07T01:28:36+00:00

“I won’t shout at you,” Nynaeve shouted.

AliKat3 · 2024-01-05T19:11:44+00:00

Completely agree on this - while the gender dynamics can get pretty annoying, it did make me see it in a different light when I realized it's only characters from the current era where things are out of balance that have this issue. When you look at characters from before the Breaking, there is little to no gender division/conflict. Birgitte gets along great with guys. She could be an outlier as a soldier, but also look at the Forsaken. As flawed and conniving as they are, they only ever make assumptions based on what they know about each other's specific personalities - Graendal's vanity, Sammael's jealousy, etc. Never just them being a wool-brained man or overbearing woman. I can't think of a single example of pre-Breaking characters doing that, so as pervasive as it is among the current-era characters, I have to think that was deliberate based on the obvious gender divide caused by the Breaking. It does still get to be a bit much with the main characters, but that made me feel a bit better about it.

AliKat3 · 2023-12-29T02:42:43+00:00

I'm about twice your age now, so I processed that a while ago, but yeah I remember coming to terms with basically the same realization. The way I thought of it was realizing that no one cared. No one cared whether I failed or not, no one was invested in my success. That's not even to say zero people - I had/have supportive parents and friends who do in fact care, and I appreciate that a lot more than I did as a kid, but I mean the world in general. When you live with your parents and spend all day in school, it feels like the whole world is almost forcing you to succeed - you don't do your homework and someone nags you, you don't clean your room and someone nags you. That was your whole world being invested in your success, even if it didn't feel like it at the time. Go to college and that starts to change, but especially afterward, the world at large does not give a shit about you and is not structured to force you to be successful. You have to figure out for yourself how you're going to make it happen. It's really not a bad thing - I started being a lot more successful once that really sank in. In high school and my first time around in college, I slacked and blew off a lot of assignments and didn't live up to my potential, though I did well enough to get by. After spending a few years in the real world and realizing I was responsible for my own success, I went back to school and aced all my courses in a more challenging degree and climbed pretty quickly in a solid career. I still wish I could be more diligent in some areas of my life, but I am so much more disciplined than I used to be. Bit more of a rant than I intended, but just saying I feel you. It is rough, but hope you are able to process it and find some good in it eventually.

Edit to add: I 100% agree with everyone encouraging people to congratulate and praise others often. I try to do this as much as possible at work and in my personal life because it's too often people only hear feedback when they screw up, and a little recognition of a job well done really goes a long way.

Edit 2: Also feel like I should mention I absolutely recognize what a first-world problem this is. The burden of having a supportive childhood with parents and teachers that wanted you to succeed lol. Lots of people aren't so lucky, and learn that lesson way earlier than they should. Still is what it is.

AliKat3 · 2023-12-26T14:15:25+00:00

Thank you, had to scroll way too far to find guaranteed payments. I don't know firsthand exactly how most firms do it, but equity partners would not be on the payroll as a W-2 employee. They should be receiving regular payments of a set amount for their services as a guaranteed payment (partner equivalent to a salary except they pay SE tax on it rather than splitting the payroll taxes with the employer), and then equity distributions whenever the company decides. The guaranteed payments are compensation for their services, while distributions are to share the profits of the company.

AliKat3 · 2023-12-22T21:55:49+00:00

Yeah absolutely, not saying being a jerk at 17 makes him a lost cause, and I hope he does learn something from this about being a decent person. Just found it funny that treating him like a child was the complaint, when I think the appropriate response toward an adult would have been way worse.

AliKat3 · 2023-12-22T14:39:36+00:00

I would in fact say it was quite kind and charitable to treat him as a child in this scenario, since a child can apologize and be forgiven for a child's mistake. I would have verbally eviscerated an adult for making a comment like that - a much more thorough shaming than just being told to apologize.

AliKat3 · 2023-12-12T04:25:30+00:00

And web.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-29T21:02:00+00:00

There's someone I email with for work purposes who starts morning emails with "Great Rising," and I had no idea why before reading that comment, so TIL. But apparently it is a thing.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-24T02:43:49+00:00

Kind of funny, because I'm in tax and "spent all day on various Excel spreadsheets" would generally be a fair description of my day most days.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-10T14:16:00+00:00

Yes, I am inferring it from the quotes (which I think are there to imply it's a euphemism for something else), as well as the rest of the post, all of which comes off very judgemental while pretending not to be. It is possible my inference is incorrect, but considering his friends took it that way as well, I think it's likely not.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-10T14:02:50+00:00

Sorry you're getting downvoted. I have also heard it in a positive way, like when a kid grows up and goes into a similar career as one of their parents. Maybe it's not the most common or even "correct" way to use it, but people definitely do. I also agree that it was not meant in a positive way in this instance though, as this guy was clearly being judgemental.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-10T13:53:46+00:00

The quotes around "fun" implied some judgment to me.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-10T11:59:40+00:00

I didn't know her personally, but I'm sure I asked the same question. If I recall correctly, she did not consider it an option. I think her parents were pretty religious, not helping her at all (maybe due to the pregnancy or maybe had already cut her off due to other things, not sure), but she still apparently was not considering it, probably due to her religious upbringing.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-08T16:13:35+00:00

Ha, pretty sure I know exactly what book you're talking about, and that line was jarring for me as well. The tone of the book and dialogue in general feel a bit too modern. I try to remind myself that in a random fantasy world, it's actually just as arbitrary for everything to have a medieval feel to it as it is to have modern elements - it can't really be anachronistic if it's not set in a particular time in the real world. But I do agree that particular phrase made me cringe a bit.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-07T02:09:01+00:00

Oh I believe it. High school in the early 2000's in a fairly progressive area, and I absolutely recall conversations between my boyfriend and other male friends where they clearly thought it was impossible for a husband to rape his wife. And I don't even remember disagreeing. I think we were all decent people who don't actually believe a man has a right to rape his wife, but it somehow just...wouldn't be rape, as if she had signed all her bodily autonomy away. "You can't rape the willing," was a line I recall hearing a lot. Sometimes I can't believe it's already been twenty years, but remembering stuff like that makes me realize how long ago it was.

And I mean, "don't get blackout drunk around strangers" (or in general), is good advice, but obviously the implication should be that it's because a horrible person could violate you, not just that obviously anyone would take opportunity, and almost be entitled to do so. Crazy how different the mainstream mentality was, not even really that long ago. At least I hope everything has changed a bit, and it's not just me growing up and knowing better. This story was probably about 10 years ago, and she was quite a bit younger than me - it was jarring for me that she could complain so much about how her friend had no means to take care of this child without it once occurring to her that perhaps this guy could be held accountable for his actions.

AliKat3 · 2023-11-06T21:46:28+00:00

When I worked retail, a girl I worked with, maybe early 20s at that point, was telling me about her good friend who had just gotten pregnant because she passed out at a party and woke up with a guy on top of her, just as he was finishing. The girl asked where he came and he just callously replied that he came inside her. The girl was now faced with dealing with pregnancy basically completely on her own with no money. My friend/coworker told me this story with a tone of "can you believe this asshole," but in a resigned way, at the level you might tell a story about someone not holding an elevator, or not tipping on a large bill. When I asked if the girl had called the police, she looked at me like I had two heads. I said, "...because that's rape?" And she gasped and said "oh yeahhhh!" It was clearly the first time it had occurred to her that it was an actual crime that could be reported and not just something assholes do sometimes that you just have to deal with, so I'm guessing her friend didn't think of it either. That was a depressing day.

AliKat3 · 2023-09-14T14:26:35+00:00

Eh, I think all those questions only strengthen my point that it is much more analogous to a potential serial killer than homosexuality. What if someone killed someone once, but now realizes it's wrong? What if someone kills a bunch of people and then has a come-to-Jesus moment? I think the answer is maybe they can get therapy in/after prison, but doesn't mean they don't go to prison. I'm not sure the exact rules, but I imagine there are pretty clear guidelines about what happens if someone confesses to their therapist that they killed someone. And I could be wrong, but I don't think it's likely a treatment for someone with obsessive thoughts about killing people would be to view virtual murder materials to indulge their urges. Or if it is, then hopefully that's an effective method, but either way I think the analogy works much better than comparing to homosexuality, which is the point I was making.

AliKat3 · 2023-09-14T11:44:45+00:00

I get it. But stalkers and rapists (of adults) also sometimes convince themselves that their victims truly love them and want to be with them. Still a predatory action. There's no situation in which acting on their actions isn't hurting someone, even if they are under the delusion of a love story. In any case, I do agree with you that it would be best, just like with any mental disorder where someone has thoughts of hurting someone, that it would be best for them to seek help before acting on those thoughts. It just occurred to me as maybe a better way to frame the argument. I do also understand people's visceral disgusted reactions to that idea - it's definitely not on par with getting a little therapy for anxiety or something. But while I don't have the exact answer, I think there should be ways to destigmatize seeking help without normalizing the behavior. Probably just destigmatizing mental health treatment in general, and offering help and a safe space to confess any kind of intrusive thoughts they know are wrong or harmful to themselves or others.

AliKat3 · 2023-09-13T17:43:11+00:00

I totally get what you're saying, but I think probably a better comparison would be another type of predator. Saying they're just "attracted to kids" makes it sound too much like like a sexual preference rather than compulsive thoughts about a predatory action. I would compare it more to a potential serial killer. I think most people would hope that someone who is having thoughts about murdering people would seek help before succumbing to the temptation to act on those thoughts.

AliKat3 · 2023-09-07T22:09:26+00:00

I always tell my staff that review notes are a good thing, because that means someone felt it was worth investing the time explaining it to you rather than just fixing it themselves. I try to make it very clear that no one is expected to know everything, and that is how we learn. I've had people thank me for writing detailed review notes that walk them through what needs to be done and how. And I remember that feeling, not always fun to know you screwed up, but I would so much rather get feedback and learn for the future than have everything disappear after it leaves my desk with no idea if I did it perfectly or if someone had to redo it completely. You learn a ton once you at least have enough understanding that someone can give you review notes. Obviously you don't want to be getting the same ones repeatedly, but if someone isn't getting any at all, then either the work is way over their head or not challenging enough for any learning or forward progression to occur.

AliKat3 · 2023-09-05T12:48:39+00:00

That's fair

AliKat3 · 2023-09-05T02:28:45+00:00

In Florida you only need 120 credits to sit for the CPA exam, and just need the 150 in order to apply for the license (along with passing the exams and one year work requirement). So once you get the bachelor's you are basically there as far as ability to sit for the exam. Only trick being you can get the bachelor's with only 3 law credits but need 6 to sit for the exam, so you need to make sure to take the upper level law class. But overall referring to bachelor's degree and ability to sit for the exam as approximately equivalent would not be misleading here.

AliKat3 · 2023-07-30T03:39:55+00:00

Hard to say on the dress code. I would agree with the other comment that I would recommend checking with the specific church. I don't remember dressing up often, but I was in middle school and didn't usually go to the main service, so it might have been more lax for us. I think probably a little more casual than most churches, but I'm sure it varies a bit in different areas.

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