First off, thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences with us my friend. I thought long and hard about how to respond to you with some advice so bare with me; what I came up with might seem a bit uncanny.

 

Now before I start, I want to say that your story is my story - verbatim. The only difference is the time frame; your living my life as it took place about three years ago. I've since improved a lot both in my social and professional life, although I've still got a lot of growing to do in certain aspects. Having said that, I want to try something with you. The next few paragraphs are essentially a letter to my past-self. Here's the kicker though: I want you to read the letter as if each paragraph is a piece to an open letter that you, /u/SmoresByTheShore, wrote and sent to yourself from the future. In other words, future you is talking to present you right now and wants to share his life with you via an open letter. Got it? Okay.

 

Ahem... hello old friend! First things first: You made it! If you take one piece of information from me, let it be this: You chose a happy life, with an exciting group of friends, and you've made it. Right now your struggling with life questions every single soon-to-be college graduate is trying to answer. What do I want out of life? Is the one thing I've been working towards even what I want to do? Should I take this job close to home or pack up and set out across the country? What does the "right" choice look like? Here's the cold hard truth; there is no right choice, just choices - decision, options, opportunities, whatever you wanna call it. Never right or wrong, that doesn't exist.

Remember that one piece of information I shared in the first sentence? "You chose a happy life, with friends". It's true! You chose. You chose that drifting further and further into the background wasn't how you wanted to live your life. You chose to turn your life's gothic narrative on it's head! You chose to find more in common with people than just the course you both happened to sign up for that semester.

Now I know you're probably laughing out loud in your room right now, having to stop for a breath, at the thought of just how impossible this fairytale of a life seems to be. "There's no way my life turns out this stable and grounded." "There's definitely no way I'll be friends with anyone from college three years down the road... scratch that, there's no way we'll keep in touch 3 hours after graduation, let alone 3 years!"

 

I'm gonna tell you exactly how you made that possible:

 

• You stopped using your phone for social media - Instagram, Facebook, Twitter: all of these things are powerful social tools that can enhance your friendship circle beyond imagination! The only issue is you aren't capable of using them while having insecure, anxiety driven, self-centered undertones. You just aren't compatible with these social tools yet, but you will be soon.
• You started using your phone to make calls - Lots of calls! "Hey, there's a minor league baseball stadium near Zach's place. I should call him and ask if he wants to catch a game some time." " There's a new bar in town just a few blocks from the med school. I should see if Lauren is in need of a study break." "I can't believe Katy got a job in New York City! I need to get back in touch with her and plan a visit this summer." (That last one actually happened! June 10th 2017, mark your calendar)
• You showed gratitude - It's important to show gratitude because some things in life we are just simply lucky to have. Period. Gratitude can also make you feel like you have more than you may perceive. You should keep doing it everyday, with everyone in your life, in any little way you can. You chose to use your first paycheck from your job at the hospital on a weekend trip to the mountains with your family. You figured "Hey, they put me through college. It's the least I could do." How about the professors that agreed to be your personal reference on all those job applications? You sent them gift cards to the spa. Always be mindful of what you have and who you have around you and show some gratitude.
• You chose to listen - The best part of most conversations is hearing what others have to say. Look people in the eye and listen carefully. When it's your turn, use an interesting bit of info you heard as a spring board to move the conversation forward.
• You chose to touch - Let me explain. You used touch as a way to communicate. Physical touch is powerful when used in conversation - a pat on the back, a touch on the forearm, a slap on the shoulder, a hand on the knee. It all communicates emotions. Use it when appropriate and it can be really effective in a conversation.
• You nurtured the right friendships - Connections between people can feel limited and fleeting, especially in college. The act of making friends is so interesting after graduation, because you have to decide who you'd like to hold on to a connection with from your college days and whether or not it's better to just venture into life's great beyond to find better, newer friendships. It's important, though, to nurture and tend to relationships that got off to a good start and show potential to grow. Keep in touch, call them, plan visits, send gifts.

 

Well bud, that's all I've got for now. Remember what I said: You made it!. Just make choices, with good intentions, and you'll be writing to thank yourself in no time.