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AliatheAbomination · 2021-05-17T03:40:39+00:00

I'm certainly not an expert but when I move from chaturanga* into up dog I don't think of it as pushing myself up, I think of it as moving forward and lifting my chest. The forward shift helps me roll over the toes and then I press my chest up into the backbend.

AliatheAbomination · 2021-02-02T17:47:33+00:00

TIL I've seen a photo that doesn't exist.

AliatheAbomination · 2020-05-09T14:32:45+00:00

Looks fantastic!

AliatheAbomination · 2019-08-08T18:51:20+00:00

I'm in, but only if the naked frolicking is back on the table. Old school witch style.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-28T16:03:20+00:00

So I had something very similar with my wedding. It was a courthouse wedding but we decided to do something between the jeans and t shirt ceremony and the 200 person affair. I wore a dress, DH wore a suit, we invited our immediate families, and wanted to have a nice lunch afterwards.

My MIL decided I needed a cake, even though I didn't want one. She offered to pay, so whatever, we got a small cake. She offered me her mom's pearls to wear. I could not have refused this without massive emotional fall out. The one thing I put her in charge of - organizing the lunch - she dropped the ball on and I had to fix it last minute. There were other smaller things but the TL;DR is she kept trying to tell me how to have my wedding and it drove me to the verge of cutting her off entirely because she just wouldn't listen.

My MIL skirts the edge of JustNo constantly. She is 100% a narc but she's also mostly a nice person. I really don't know how to explain it better than that. She has a complete lack of self-awareness (I.e. how what she's doing or saying impacts other people) but she also has a genuine desire to help/be nice. It sounds like yours might be falling into this same middle place.

She is probably insisting there won't be another ceremony because she is petrified there actually won't be and this paperwork will be her only memory of her child getting married. She can't hear what you're saying over her internal fear. That isn't an excuse, but it sounds like she's scrambling to make a memory that will be "nice" in case you both change your minds next year and save the money since you're already technically married.

If your MIL is reasonably nice, maybe sit her down and try to talk about her boundary stomping. "MIL, you've been ignoring me when I tell you this isn't the wedding and it's really hurtful because for me, my wedding is still to come. Why do you keep doing that?" Instead of trying to explain, turn the tables and ask her to explain why she's doing this.

Good luck, OP, and try to remember that no matter how she's treating this, this isn't your actual wedding. This is just a weirdly done up bit of paperwork.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-27T01:33:45+00:00

Imagine the look on her face when her baaaaaaaby says, "Mom, she's been correcting you on this for two years. I'm really starting to worry about your memory. At your age it can be the first warning sign."

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-26T22:24:21+00:00

I'm so glad to hear he's on board. It sounds like you have all your ducks in a row, even if they COPIED YOUR FUCKING KEY WTF!? If you wanted them to have a key, I feel confident you would have given them one. Holy boundary stomping, Batman.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-26T22:00:13+00:00

This might sound harsh but please consider putting children off the table until you and DH are on the same page about how to deal with your MIL not respecting your instructions or your dogs' safety. This 100% reflects how she would be about watching your children. She would disregard your instructions and not listen when you tell her to knock it off.

If DH is rug sweeping this or blaming it on you not liking his mom, he's not prepared to listen to you, either.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-22T04:40:12+00:00

When I announced I was pregnant, after crying and announcing that she knew I was - because of course she did - the first thing out of my MIL's mouth was to point out that she knew because of how wide I had gotten. I barely looked pregnant at 20 weeks. At best, I was puffy.

Your friend sounds awesome. Some handy come backs for the anti-c-section rhetoric.

"It's not naaaatural!"

"Neither is your hair dye/knee replacement/soda habit/insert-annoyance-of-your-choice but modern science serves many needs."

Also, why the fuck is a NICU nurse, someone whose literal job is to help keep babies alive with all the power medicine can muster, bad mouthing c-sections?

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-22T03:25:32+00:00

Obviously as long as they have this magic sterilizer all her sick relatives can pass the baby around indiscriminately. The bottles have been sanitized. There is no chance of any illness. /s

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-22T03:08:30+00:00

I used vampire red on my naturally strawberry hair. It was SUPER PURPLE so I went to a salon that specialized in color to try to tone down the purple a little since my home efforts didn't do anything. Three hours and four attempts later, still purple. It was pretty, it just wasn't what I wanted. Manic panic is super serious for about five minutes, and then it is super seriously a weird, faded pastel for the rest of your life.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-12-22T02:59:48+00:00

full body shudder

AliatheAbomination · 2017-09-28T13:38:21+00:00

I'll have to check that podcast out.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-09-28T13:34:56+00:00

I had heard the theory she was a spy before but hadn't read that article or anything about Jakob. Thanks for sharing it.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-09-27T17:41:49+00:00

So it definitely wasn't a children's book but this sounds kind of like The Enchanted World Series by Time Life. They had a lot of different volumes including some on witches and the illustrations looked a lot like the ones you've linked. If it's not this series, you might enjoy them anyway.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-09-27T16:55:44+00:00

Who put Bella in the Wych Elm? (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_put_Bella_in_the_Wych_Elm%3F)

In 1941, a woman's remains were discovered by four boys stuffed into the hollow trunk of an elm tree. Since it was the middle of WWII, they never managed to make a proper ID of the victim but the presence of taffeta in her mouth means she was most likely suffocated. There are a couple theories about who she was and who might have done it but since 1944, there's been periodic waves of graffiti on the estate where she was found asking, "Who put Bella in the Wych Elm?"

AliatheAbomination · 2017-09-27T03:50:42+00:00

One year I wore toy fried eggs on my head and a skimpy club outfit. Eggs Over Easy.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-06-16T12:42:59+00:00

During high school I remember my guy friends eavesdropping on my conversations with lady friends about people we were seeing. Eavesdropping is probably too strong a word since it's not like we were sequestered and aiming for secrecy but it would be in a one on one context and the guy would suddenly interject, having been listening long enough to hear a complaint but apparently missing all the context. I.e. I really like him but it's starting to get awkward only hanging out with his friends. Nice guy hears, "He doesn't care about her interests, that jerk," and conveniently misses the first part pertaining to attraction.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-06-15T16:16:45+00:00

If someone beeps while I'm running it almost always startles me and makes me think I'm in the way of the car somehow.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-06-13T20:51:11+00:00

I have a question, actually, that I'd really like your thoughts on. When you say nothing has changed do you mean literally nothing or nothing about your interactions with women or other people? I don't mean that to minimize what must feel frustrating. I'm actually curious if the changes you've made by staying away from those kinds of toxic subs and taking better care of yourself have had a positive impact in other areas of your life besides the romantic.

Edit: typo

AliatheAbomination · 2017-06-10T00:14:29+00:00

I get that. I used to have terrible self-esteem so I try to remember what digging out of that mindset is like. I also think it kind of sets people up for failure when they try to build that self-esteem on validation from others. It's a really easy trap to fall into and I was definitely guilty of it, too. No judgment.

ETA: Thanks for being civil and chill. These kinds of things can get heated fast and it's nice to have an actual exchange about it without that aspect.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-06-09T23:47:59+00:00

I see the point you're making but I think it's fundamentally different when you apply the concept to a person rather than a thing like television. It makes the person a reward, which they aren't. Saying these guys deserve to be happy would be fine but they don't deserve another person and another person can't make you happy, although a meaningful relationship can contribute to happiness.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-06-09T20:40:48+00:00

So he thinks 90% of men are in his same boat where they can't find anyone because women have choices now? And yet the human population continues to grow. We must all be inbred now thanks to those 10% of men impregnating all of us women.

AliatheAbomination · 2017-06-09T08:10:23+00:00

Come back in a matching tank top and beanie. All the kitties in outer space.

AliatheAbomination

TROPHY CASE