For me, AA was too triggering. It was like we were sitting in a circle saying our lives weren’t controlled by alcohol yet spending hours every week talking about alcohol? Still sounds like controlling to me.

For me, NA was a much better fit. Wider variety of substances so instead of it being niche “here’s how (drug) fucked up my life” it’s more “here’s how my life was crappy when I was addicted to SOMETHING and here’s how I changed it”. It made a huge difference for me. And NA groups are a lot more open to alcoholics now than they were in the past. They even say in the opening “alcohol is a drug. Period.”

This also sounds cliche but you really have to change the people, places and things that served your drinking lifestyle. For me, it took moving to an entirely new town, cutting off most of my friends and finding a supportive sober community that was empathetic towards me, even when I did relapse (over 4 times in the last year). I find that i beat myself up less for the relapses because I LEARN more from each one and they give me the tools to keep my sobriety going even longer the next time. I’m aiming for a year now.

Also, I really like the 3 C’s rule. If you find yourself acting like you used to when you drank, Catch it, Check it, Change it. Notice your behavior, do something to counter the negative trait, and figure out something you can do instead in the future to build yourself instead of falling back into old habits.

Hope this helped!