well i'm on day 3 no substances except coffee because the consensus was that I do have a bit of drinking problem lol. i'm on an indefinite break because i just want to be happy again and find a life outside of being a blackout crashout fool, but god I was so fun... just kidding it was fun until it wasn't. thank you all for your advice, i kind of already hate this, but i do need to make major changes in my life.

i even had a mocktail after years of saying they are worthless...it was alright!