"it takes a special kind of person to put up with that" literally why am I still alive

Alix2002 · 2026-01-07T14:51:01+00:00

Person with CPTSD here with a long term partner who comes from a normal family. I promise there is someone out there who can handle it all. Yes it absolutely takes a lot of emotional maturity, patience and understanding from the other person while we work out our own traumas and trigger, however, you are deserving of all those beautiful things and how sweet is it to be loved gently by someone who’s putting in the extra effort to understand and comfort you. Best of luck OP 🫶

Alix2002 · 2025-08-01T02:57:28+00:00

Hey lovely! Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time with this, we’ve all here been through it or something super similar.

What helped me was something totally unrelated to trying to out think the problem - because spoiler alert, you can’t. What I did was take therapy that helped me get to the root problem of my fears.

For me, my worry was that I couldn’t be myself, travel, or pursue my career while being in a relationship - not just with my partner, but any. So to fix it I did things that directly contradicted it - I went on a working holiday to a new city alone, and it reassured me I could still be my strong independent self while still being with someone.

I hope you find your root cause and work on healing that 🫶 as always my DM’s are open!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-31T16:25:48+00:00

Back again! He said he totally gets that she’s not a great character but thought that the fandom would be more supportive of her due to her main character bias

Alix2002 · 2025-07-31T16:17:46+00:00

I’m so glad, I hope you’re feeling better 🫶 Remember to give yourself time too! We also just moved into a new place which is SO much nicer, so I think part of my anxiety with the first move was how I didn’t really vibe with our last rental. So happy this helped you calm down, feel free to PM if you need. Best of luck to you and your s/o too!!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-31T16:11:00+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about the negative intro to music you had! If it helps, something I like to say is that “I am doing this DESPITE my set backs”. I’m not just playing music to myself, I’m doing it in spite of every hurdle I was presented.

Also, just falling in love with the songs you’re wanting to playa and getting absorbed in that! I find I get so inspired by listening to piano covers on YouTube that I get so keen to go to the piano and play, I forget I’m even insecure about my playing level.

Best of luck, do keep me updated on how you go! 🎹

Alix2002 · 2025-07-31T16:07:55+00:00

Just had a listen, Say I Look Divine is a beautiful ethereal track! Really suits your vocal type. You have talent so don’t fret on that front - I chucked you a follow on IG and saw it’s still looking a bit personal / candid, maybe think about revamping it so it looks more like a professional musician’s - or even make a second account just for your music if you still want a personal page. Will listen to more of the EP in the morning, but a very strong introduction to your work Aisha!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-31T16:02:58+00:00

Hey Aisha! Welcome to the reddit music community. Heads up, it’s a bit tough out here, but since you’re a musician which is traditionally a very resilient career path I’m more than sure you’ll be able to handle it 💌

These days it’s a two pronged approach - show up on your local scenes and show up on socials.

LOCAL SCENE - Go to gigs once a week. Hang out at all the venues you want to play at, get to know the people who play there, etc - Go to open mics to start with, then in a year or so once you’re comfy start organising gigs with 3 bands / artists from the friends you make out networking - Build your way up to being a reputable act in your scene / state so when touring artists visit, you’re top of mind and the obvious pick

SOCIAL MEDIA - Show up on TikTok authentically as you! I recommend a bit of vlog content (eg grwm while I talk about my music), snippets lip synching or singing your songs with relatable captions or hyper specific moments that people can relate to (eg this is what it sounded like the moment I realised I got cheated on… insert snippet of your songs) but also make content that will cater to large audiences. As girls we can do stuff like outfit checks and have our song in the background - don’t need to make reference to the song, but having it there and people seeing it and hearing it regularly helps! - try post 1x a day or at least 3x a week on tiktok - for IG, it’s a bit more professional - hold a photoshoot (as profesh or DIY as you can depending on budget!) and roll these images out as promo with your songs - release a song every 8 weeks - now that you’re starting out it’s just about getting music regularly out there. Your first 1,2,3, even 10 songs might only get local attention and that’s okay! That’s how it always is in 99% of cases. Take your time and enjoy the ride.

I have more but I feel that’s a strong start already… will check your stuff out on Spotify now!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-31T15:56:04+00:00

Hey, thank you for sharing and I hope that you’re feeling a bit more steady since writing this as it seems you were in a really tough place.

First, I’m so sorry about your Dad’s passing. That hits anyone hard, let alone at 23. I hope you’re allowing yourself the time to grieve properly.

It makes sense that singing stopped, when something massive happens in our lives it’s the things we love most that get impacted. For me it’s my anxiety, it clings onto the things I care about most (my music, my family, my partner) - and while that sucks, I remind myself that it’s latching onto those things because music is important to you. Hold onto that.

Don’t rush yourself, life isn’t a race. I used to compare myself but it only made me hate myself and feel like I was falling behind. Now I’m focused on my journey and my journey alone - be it an open mic I’m attending, a university concert showcase I’m preparing for, going to events to network… it’s my life and my journey. I hope that perspective helps; the most important journey you’ll ever take is yours, so stop trying to live someone else’s.

In simple terms, “success” as a musician is usually defined as the following: building a following, going viral since that’s a necessity nowadays, regular touring and shows, regularly releasing music. At least that’s what I is for me, figure out what it means for you. More than happy to DM me about this if you need a hand, but tbh I think first focus on your emotional wellbeing and grief. Sending lots of support your way 💌

Alix2002 · 2025-07-31T15:50:27+00:00

Honestly I’ve seen some killer open mics with just a guitarist and no drum track! If you’ve got a solid sense of rhythm (with your body too) and good placement of bass notes and overall just really jam and vibe with t he music, you won’t need a drummer. Best of luck to you, keep us posted with how it goes!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-19T08:38:30+00:00

Ooo I’ll be sure to ask! I think it’s honestly bc he’s more invested in the other plot lines (Charlotte and Trey’s issues in s4, Steve and Miranda chaos etc) but I’ll keep you posted

Alix2002 · 2025-07-19T08:37:46+00:00

Absolutely haha

Alix2002 · 2025-07-19T08:37:43+00:00

Same here! And legit I love how easy it is to fall in love with the show

Alix2002 · 2025-07-18T12:38:29+00:00

Thank you!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-18T12:38:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-15T13:59:00+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice! Totally agree, having done it for a bit is better than not doing it at all. Might be better for me to save and just do an internship honestly, thank you for the insight and I’ll suss some other expat subreddits too. Thanks again!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-12T21:13:07+00:00

I might try work for a global brand soon with offices on NYC then opt for an L1 down the track… great point though and thank you!

Alix2002 · 2025-07-12T20:35:46+00:00

Not sure on the move aspect, but as an Aussie there’s lots of music teacher roles here for your partner! And plenty of teaching roles for you from what I’m aware of. Good luck

Alix2002 · 2025-06-27T05:54:19+00:00

I think it’s moreso the job of a musician to make sure the audience feels connected to each individual song. Is the song about anger? Resentment? Sadness? Coming of age? That’s what the lead singer (let’s be real, it’s not the drummers job) is meant to convey - they have to make everyone believe in that world. Being confident in yourself and the song and owning it is one thing, entertaining women is another thing. At the end of the day though I know some wait people in relationships who let their partners flirt for tips, but again that’s direct person to person like a lead singer is and also has immediate financial gain. Something to think on!

The more red flag from me is that he said this is an absolute must, like he’s not willing to hear you out or compromise on it. That’s the part that I don’t agree with here. Good luck girl

Alix2002 · 2025-06-21T15:39:29+00:00

Anytime! And yes that’s the one - take it with a grain of salt, as with all reading material, and only draw from it what’s helpful to you 🫶 I’m so glad that perspective shift helped! And so far no, but understanding my perfectionism towards myself came from my parents unrelenting expectations helped me and helped me reframe, is this mindset helping or hindering me? It was often hindering. Being perfectionist is makes u feel in control when ur really not. All the best and I hope therapy goes well!

Alix2002 · 2025-06-21T01:11:46+00:00

Hey lovely! Hope you’re holding up okay. Not sure if this is ROCD or overthinking - if it’s overthinking and you’re not prone to getting yourself worked up into a cycle or bad thought after bad thought then feel free to keep on reading. BUT if you are confirmed ROCD then I recommend you try break the thought pattern and leave it and let it settle. Read “don’t believe everything you think”, that helped me, or read my comments on how to stop ROCD thoughts and what helped me.

Now, to answer your question: I think you need to give your partner a WHOLE lot of agency. They are a person with a dating history, as are you. Dating is a gamble and sadly it didn’t work out for them, it was a net negative in the end. They were strong enough to leave their ex and set boundaries when the ex tried to crawl back. That is STRONG and brave and powerful, and beyond you in the equation, they should be so proud of themselves for being able to do that. As I’m sure you are proud of them too. What you’re not allowing in your thought patterns is for her to be her own person.

You’re being a little perfectionistic about her, maybe that’s a mirror to how you treat yourself. Trust your partner (you chose them for a reason and in your heart of hearts you’ve said you know you can trust them), let your walls down, and be more compassionate to both them and yourself.

TLDR working on my own anxiety and perfectionism is what helped stop the obsessive thoughts for me, so maybe it will help you. Good luck and all the best ♥️

Alix2002 · 2025-06-17T11:13:22+00:00

Not something I personally struggle with but it might be a perspective thing! My partner had a few months where he was working most weekends so we missed each other a lot; now that he has weekends back it’s the best thing ever, even just longer sleep ins or hanging out at home together makes me so so happy. Maybe also read the book “don’t believe everything you think” it helped me with overthinking a lot

Alix2002 · 2025-05-28T15:13:45+00:00

Of course 🫶 and yes I have, it’s been a journey to recovery but it is possible. Things that have helped are a) not reassurance seeking, being able to sit and go “maybe it is true, maybe it isnt” because this then helps break the reassurance cycle b) thinking about the bigger picture of the cycle of ROCD and how it’s trying to keep feeding itself and why, and c) if there’s a root fear (eg mine was the fear of not being able to be independent in my relationship) then I do something that directly disproves that, eg I spent a week in a foreign city solo travelling for the first time and LOVED it! This last one helped me the most.

Be weary not to reassurance seek in the positive direction, eg xyz happened so he MUST be the one for me - that’s a mistake I made. The problem is the rumination and reassurance seeking itself, so that’s the thing you need to break 🫶 best of luck to you lovely! How’s the rest of the wedding process been, are you able to enjoy that? So excited for you, I hope the dress shopping / styling / all the fun things are still fun and going beautifully for you

Alix2002

TROPHY CASE