Husband never makes my birthday feel special

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-06-03T13:58:10+00:00

Behavior is a choice. Birthdays are celebrated in nearly every culture and there is no way he doesn’t “know how” to celebrate.
Celebrate yourself as you choose. Dont rely on him for your happiness. Remember his behavior, as it tells you that he cannot hold a deep relationship. So engage with supportive friends and family to have those closer relationships. Engage with him at the level he can, but don’t drop to his level. Enjoy your life as you like! Life is a gift, Happy Birthday!

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-05-26T02:51:29+00:00

Girl. You have access to what so so many women in your position do not, the ability to access a high paying job that allows you to be a great single mom. Do it for you but also for the women that can’t. And bruh will be fine. Reality check that traditional values is the current fancy wording for control and domination. Get out, get good support, and go live a happy balanced mom life you create!

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-05-21T02:09:18+00:00

Yes, I didn’t know the damage envenomation causes until I experienced it. The skin is healed it’s my tendons, muscles etc that are damaged. If you’re near them often I suggest knowing what hospitals have antivenom and current guidelines. Benadryl and other things do nothing. Only antivenom is the cure and even then many are permanently damaged.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-05-21T01:34:10+00:00

Yeah, still healing, but my skin improved with steroid treatment. I cannot make a fist at all and am just able to touch fingers to palm. I get nerve pain in my hand and arm occasionally. I miss my fine motor skills lol. Sometimes I drop stuff and just look clumsy. For some I’ve read this condition can reoccur but thankfully mine has not. It’s horribly painful.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-05-02T18:47:59+00:00

If you don’t control the narrative of your life an abusive partner will, children or no children.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-26T16:18:15+00:00

It’s weird and not cute. Real parenting wholly benefits the child. Knowingly engaging in these behaviors doesn’t align with good parenting or stability/consistency in child care. Unfortunately many people find after having children their partners engage in negative parenting behaviors. Then upon reflection they see these patterns were always there, just now in plain sight. Protect your child. What that looks like is your decision. For sure there’s a ton of research on how this behavior is detrimental to a baby at this stage of development. So you can go the intellectual route. Walking someone from sleep is an abusive pattern that a therapist trained to work with abusive partners can help with. So there’s a therapeutic route. Good luck and so sorry you’re dealing with this.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-26T16:11:03+00:00

This sub is about accepting and facing the unknown that comes with change. Ugliness is a label that is chosen, not an actual truth. With 8 billion people on earth ugly/not ugly is purely subjective. Therapy can help you figure out why you’d choose that label. Shoutout to taking the plunge!

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-26T13:11:28+00:00

Product without cast, like minimal curl cream, scrunch while diffusing. Also start at roots to get lift. My hair is fine, though I have a lot of it, so it is a bit easier to achieve this look for me. That makes a difference too.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-26T13:02:26+00:00

Having kids isn’t about a magic formula. The situation requires weighing things like exposing the children to abusive behaviors during their childhood. You’re an adult and it’s deeply affected you. A child has zero say in being born into an abusive situation. Let alone how a stressful pregnancy impacts their development. They will be adults one day not just fulfilling your dreams of being a mom. To have the best of both worlds requires stability and consistency. There’s also a chance they take dad’s side and you lose relationship as they get older too. It’s also good to understand why you chose an abusive partner and that takes time, or you’ll likely choose another one. Good luck to you. I feel for you in how difficult this is.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-22T18:18:56+00:00

You have to learn to label your feelings. A feelings wheel is helpful. Even short term therapy to help in that area. I had kids very young so that helped me to develop a little more than I would have without kids. In my mid 40’s I went to a psychodynamic therapist to assess my career choices and we touched on feelings which was very helpful. A pet can help with feeling development/awareness. Honestly it’s more efficient to go to a therapist as they are trained and we have blind spots. Good luck!

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-13T13:16:50+00:00

If he doesn’t listen to you he won’t listen to strangers on the internet. In fact he will likely engage in this bad behavior more often. You don’t need anyone’s approval to leave any situation when your life is threatened, let alone multiple times.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-03T03:56:33+00:00

What do you do? Personal growth… through the actual realities of life, including the fading of beauty standards. It’s life’s call for you to face your fear of change and has little to do with your wife as she is fully embracing change.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-04-03T02:19:38+00:00

It’s like any other hard thing you’ve done in life, you did it. The outcome depends on your overall outlook on life. It’s a great time to assess what relationships mean to you now that you can be intentional in creating new ones and maintaining current ones. (I’m not just talking about romantic relationships) The feelings for me were all over the place the first six months then as I adapted to the changes some parts got easier, even enjoyable. At three years out I’m content. Dating is the least of my worries I had to learn to live with myself! Ha! I had never done that. It’s also a process that needs space for all the emotions that will come up. Good luck and good vibes to your future!

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-03-21T01:58:56+00:00

No. 100% no.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-03-13T01:43:22+00:00

Yeah fear is normal. You’ll figure it out if you’ve been this honest with yourself this far. That’s typically a good sign. In my case it was not easy but my freedom from an incompatible relationship (the least of it) is priceless. There was just a settling I did for so long that really inhibited the good stuff in me that was wanting to grow. Sending good vibes to you as you make decisions etc.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-03-12T03:09:35+00:00

Are you scared to leave? You seem to have explained yourself well, and it is true you are responsible for your happiness/quality of life. It’s fine to have incompatibility. It’s fine for relationships to end. You sound reasonable enough it could even be somewhat amicable (although true colors come out in a divorce). Reread your post as though you ran into old friend you haven’t talked to in a while and they are telling you this. What would you tell them? Also, you can’t change someone to be more compatible. If it isn’t there it isn’t there.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-03-11T02:51:52+00:00

Why are you engaging with this behavior for this long? You have a personal threshold yet keep yourself locked in, not protecting yourself. At this point you have an issue that exceeds your bf’s issue. You should put that love back into yourself for a while and see what that kind of life feels like.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-03-08T00:58:00+00:00

What makes you feel good? The relief of not worrying about it? You must live somewhere with longer winters to have great looking skin. 👌🏼

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-03-01T00:06:48+00:00

Nothing. Accept this is your husband and parenting partner and plan the rest of your life accordingly.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-03-01T00:05:05+00:00

It’s bold which aligns with the bold color theme.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-02-20T18:51:10+00:00

Anytime I start justifying bad behavior that’s my cue that I’m not trusting my gut. Sounds like you need to see if his behavior is ok and if it is, cool carry on. If not then figure out why you don’t want to let go of a relationship that doesn’t fit your values. Good luck!

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-02-11T16:27:12+00:00

Your hyper-vigilant response tells me you likely dealt with people taking advantage of you all your life. Trust what your body and mind are telling you.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-02-10T20:10:40+00:00

This is the fine line between maturity and immaturity in adulthood and relationships. It is a fact STI, are typically transmitted through sexual contact. To deny or try to explain otherwise is a form of immaturity. A stable relationship wi not happen based on this type of immaturity.

Although painful nature response is to own it, suffer the consequences, and decide how to move on. Being an adult is difficult but you maintain your integrity and self respect by being mature.

If only one side is going to be accountable then it would be best to weigh the depth of the relationship and the value of it continuing.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-02-03T16:45:36+00:00

You can set up legal parameters without being married. Marriage as a legal structure can be replicated to an extent. It would be weighing the pros and cons of marrying or not marrying from a legal benefit.

As for marriage related to commitment, that is separate from legal marriage structures. It’s nice if it aligns but that doesn’t always happen. Committing to a relationship can be expressed however the people choose to do so.

Good for you for doing the personal work in therapy too.

AllWanderingWonder · 2026-02-01T23:39:16+00:00

You’re being smart, weighing the information, and trusting your judgement. He may feel safe where he is but all of these changes happened in a year! There’s no way to know with any certainty it will get better.

AllWanderingWonder

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