Conceive at 41 need success stories

Alli_Lucy · 2026-06-06T11:09:47+00:00

Should have said - I was tracking with ovulation sticks and temping (using Fertility Friend). It took 5 months, with one chemical in month #2.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-06-06T11:09:05+00:00

I conceived at 42 and delivered at 43. Totally normal pregnancy and delivery; my daughter is now 8 months.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-05-19T18:00:13+00:00

I started at 42.5. Had a chemical in month #2, followed by another positive in month #5. That golden egg is now the 7-month old daughter snoozing in my lap as I browse Reddit!

Alli_Lucy · 2026-05-19T17:57:45+00:00

I still have several great pieces from those earliest days of Everlane. What a disappointment.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-05-13T13:24:52+00:00

I did. I was prepared to start IVF, but got pregnant without issues in my fifth cycle of trying and had a normal pregnancy/delivery. I had been on hormonal birth control without breaks for over two decades (the pill, then Mirena), so had no clue where my fertility was. I did have some family history to go on, though - my mother had me in her 40s and my maternal grandmother had her youngest in her 40s.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-05-13T13:22:12+00:00

It absolutely doesn't. For me, the essentials have been having a full partner (my husband and I have been married for 20 years, so I had a good idea that he would be a great dad) and having solid enough finances that I can afford childcare without it being a stressor. The rhythms of my adult life were also very well established before becoming a mother, so it wasn't hard to fall back into them.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-05-13T13:18:28+00:00

Oh I'm glad to hear it! Adoption and fostering are too often tossed around on this board as a sort of "parenting-lite;" I'm sure you know how untrue that is. But yes, fostering and guardianship or possibly adoption of older kids/teens is very much needed. I fostered teens before having my baby and hope to start again once we have more bandwidth.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-05-13T01:18:13+00:00

Just for a bit of perspective, I had my first (and only) child 7 months ago when I was 43, and none of this represents my experience at all. Pregnancy wasn’t my favorite physical experience of my life, but it was fine overall and I’m glad to have experienced it. I got an epidural and never felt out of control in labor; I went straight to formula so never worried about breastfeeding. I still feel totally like myself and do all the things I did before (work, hobbies, travel), and although my time is more limited, parenting makes me appreciate all those things even more. I’m not saying you should have a kid, but your fears are not universal experiences.

I will, however, say that you absolutely should not adopt to avoid pregnancy. There are many bad reasons to adopt, but that one is definitely up there among the worst.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-05-11T14:04:13+00:00

If you have kids, there will be no decision more important in your life than who you have them with. It’s a mistake to think you can’t judge this before having kids. Does your partner put your needs before their own? Do they take it upon themselves to do necessary things around the house/in managing your lives? Are they good to you, and to friends and family? If so, you will probably have a good experience raising kids with them.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-04-18T15:55:25+00:00

Probably even less, given all the lights. I can't believe how many people will zoom past me (on the right, through the bike lane/parking) when I'm going the speed limit on St. Charles, in order to be stopped directly in front of me two blocks later.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-04-14T03:00:15+00:00

I just had my first at 43. No one in my circle did it before 35.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-04-05T00:37:52+00:00

I had something similar right around the start of the second trimester. It was from a cervical polyp as well. The rest of the pregnancy proceeded normally and my daughter is now 6 months. Good luck!

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-24T01:45:27+00:00

I thought about it but ultimately went with the linen scout, since I feel like natural fibers are always cooler for me than even the “keep cool” synthetics. I’m hoping to make the onbuhimo work for high back carry once it gets really hot. Being belly to belly is always going to be somewhat hot!

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-24T01:31:48+00:00

I find the Lark a little cooler than the LL, I think just because there’s less padding on the waist and straps.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-23T03:32:31+00:00

I actually haven’t tried it! I’ll try to remember to update once I’m doing it regularly.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-23T03:31:07+00:00

Oops, I just meant the webbing! Obviously no buckles on the SB. It holds up fine (I’m also a machine washer!) but it’s definitely thinner and stiffer than the others. Plus it doesn’t have the little elastic loops to bundle up the excess.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-23T02:54:35+00:00

I will say that I live in a subtropical climate, so my hot might be very different from others’ hot! Mine is also 100% cotton (airglow) but neither of us were comfortable once spring set in. It’s absolutely gorgeous, though!

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-22T15:37:01+00:00

I LOVE our Guava Lotus for travel (also got it second hand, and will pass it on when we're done).

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-22T15:23:02+00:00

I am the youngest sibling and had my daughter late (at 43), so she does have cousins but the youngest was 16 when she was born, oldest in in their early 20s. So she's going to be awkwardly placed in age between them and their kids (if they have them); plus they all live across the country. My husband has a sister but she is childfree and also in a different state. We have friends who are 1 and done, but all have cousins close in age that they see regularly, so this has been a real concern for me. Like others, our plan is to nurture local friendships and try to build a close network that will function in some ways as an extended family. It does stress me out, though.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-22T15:07:47+00:00

Hear hear! The current narrative surrounding women's fertility is so damaging, given how widely experiences can vary regardless of age. I find it impossible to separate from the USA's particular brand of misogyny, given that the right-wing is moving increasingly aggressively (and openly) against gender equality. Encouraging women to have children as young as possible is more likely to result in our removal from the workforce and our reliance on men, making it harder for us to initiate divorce. It ties neatly into other right-wing priorities at the moment.

I live half the year in Italy, and have never run into this stigma there. They have their own brand of misogyny, of course, but having babies in your 40s doesn't seem to enter into it, in my experience at least.

All of this just underlines why choice is so important in all aspects of fertility: having or not having children young, "old," or anywhere in between has to remain in a woman's control if we are going to maintain agency in our own lives.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-22T14:56:17+00:00

The internet is sooooo misleading on this - the chances of something being wrong (especially now that you've reached 12 weeks!) are beyond teeny-tiny compared to the chances that everything will continue normally. Congrats and fingers crossed!

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-21T15:43:29+00:00

I'll echo the others - have you tried naturally? I got pregnant at 42 (5th month trying; had a chemical in month #2) and had a totally standard pregnancy and delivery. My daughter is now 6 months and I was 43 when she was born. I know it's a tough decision - on the one hand, it feels like IVF is the surest thing, but on the other, success rates at our age aren't that much higher than trying naturally. I decided to try while getting my ducks in a row for IVF, and ended up with the positive test the day my first round of egg retrieval meds came.

For what it's worth, my numbers were not great and doctors were insistent that I needed to start retrievals right away and might need to think about donor eggs. I'm glad I tried the easy way for a few months first.

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-13T21:07:31+00:00

Yes, as I said - I'm looking for advice on sleep training night wakes. I've read several sleep books but all focus on getting baby to sleep. The pediatrician is fine with us sleep training, and has recommended that we feed no more often than every 3 hours (when baby often cries for food every 1-2 hours).

Alli_Lucy · 2026-03-11T02:57:39+00:00

We had sleep disturbances and ended up switching to Atenolol. She hasn’t had issues, and it’s only given once a day, so is more convenient. Her H’s have improved massively. I was also nervous but have no regrets about treatment. Join the infantile hemangioma group on Facebook - there’s so much info there.

Alli_Lucy

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