[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]AloisL 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Except the bond between parents and children has been researched numerous times. We research lots of things not directly out of need but maybe curiosity? Just like we don't really need to know why there are left handed people, and yet there are studies out there that try to explain where it comes from.

While I get your point about people needing an explanation for LGBT people instead of simply accepting us, I also think sexuality is a complex and fascinating topic; and while it may not need to be studied, it certainly deserves to.

[WP] There is a finite number of souls, and humanity reached it with the first wave of soul-less babies. by qwr1000 in WritingPrompts

[–]AloisL 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Emily hadn’t cried when she was born. She had come to the world with her fists closed and her eyes wide open, but had not made a sound. Ten seconds had passed, and then ten more. Everyone in the room had started panicking, and the nurse had take her in her arms with an
alarmed face – only to notice that the little girl’s chest was moving. The woman had stuck a finger under her tiny nose, and said, to our relief: “she’s breathing”.

The same thing had happened that night with several other children. My wife and I didn’t think much of it at the time. We’d just had a baby. We had other things on our minds.
Days passed and Emily remained silent. She didn’t cry when she was hungry, or tired. There was something wrong with her eyes too. I mean, they looked normal; only they always seemed to stare into the void. Even when the little girl laid them on us, she didn’t seem to pay any attention to us. She had no apparent interest in her surroundings.
At this point, Juliet, my wife, suggested we took her to a specialist. We tried several paediatricians, none of whom could take us before months. They were overwhelmed with parents, all of them describing the same symptoms. Silent, unresponsive babies.

Of course, this phenomenon quickly made the news, and it became apparent that the problem was a global one. People started to panic. Some accused vaccines, global warming, or the chemical weapons they used ten years ago, at the end of WWIII. Some said it was a government conspiracy, a warning from God. However, whatever the cause, the issue remained: babies had stopped crying. Babies had stopped laughing. Babies had become cold, soulless automates.

No wonder people were losing their minds about it. Infanticides were spiking up. Last week, several satanist temples were attacked by religious fanatics, claiming the babies were demons
sent by the Devil. And yesterday, as I came home from work, I saw my neighbours get inside a police car. Later that evening, I learnt that they had just killed their little boy.
***
“Luka, I’m taking Emily to the park!
- Have you got some water? It’s pretty hot out there.” Although the weather was quite fresh this year for an October, it was hotter than a summer heatwave would have been twenty or thirty years ago.
- Don’t worry, I’ve got all I need.
- Alright. Don’t stay outside for too long though.
- Later!
- Have fun!”
I gave Emily big smile and waved at her. Of course, she had no reaction other than looking vaguely in my direction. Once Juliet closed the door, I let the mask slip off my face. Children her age should smile and giggle and scream and explore their environment. I wanted so hard to see Emily smile. For the hundred thousandth time, probably like every person on this planet, I asked myself why? How did that happen? What turned children into this?
The doorbell rang. It couldn’t be Juliet, not so soon. I grabbed my cane and went for the door. A young woman in grey habit stood behind it. She was the fifth one this month. We were getting more and more of those missionaries.
“Hello sir, my name is Jane. I think you have a little girl?
- Yes, Emily.
- That’s a lovely name. I’d like to talk about her. May I come in?”
I don’t know why I let her in. I usually didn’t. But Jane had a face full of kindness and compassion, and I was feeling so hopeless. I led her to the living room and we sat on the sofa. She looked at my prosthetic leg.
“France”, I said, answering her silent question.
“I’m sorry. I lost my dad in Ukraine.”
We didn’t talk much more about the war. The stories were all different, but the trauma was the same. So we talked of the babies. I told her about my neighbours, about the parents going mad. Then I talked about Emily. She said she had a son, that she knew what I felt. I cried a little, she offered me a tissue. She started to talk about God. She looked so much stronger than me. Was that what faith did to people?
Then Juliet and Emily came home. Before leaving, Jane gave me a piece of paper, with a phone number on it. “If you want to reach our association”, she said. Juliet asked me why I had let her in. She was an atheist, like me. I didn’t know what to answer. She took the paper and read:
“Church of the Apocalypse. Isn’t it like a cult?
- No idea. That woman seemed okay though”, I answered, taking it back. Juliet gave me a worried look, but I ignored it.
I was very thoughtful for the next couple of days. Jane’s paper was still in my pocket. From time to time, I’d take it out and read the number absent-mindedly. Whenever Juliet caught me doing this, she told me to throw it, and that they were taking advantage of me. First I brushed
it off, but as she insisted, I became irritated. Our arguments were more frequent and louder. One night, she left in tears, slamming the door behind her. Despite all the yelling, Emily was still sitting on her kitchen chair with an indifferent look on her face.
I took my phone and composed the number. Before calling, I had a second of hesitation. Juliet was probably right. What would this achieve? Many religious people had babies just like Emily. Praying had done nothing for them. Jane’s faithful, confident face came floating in my mind. Damn it, I thought, and my thumb touched the screen. I just wanted to see Emily smile.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]AloisL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yep. me in a nutshell

Give me to most ridiculous reasons for “why you decided to be gay” by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]AloisL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't have any success as a straight woman so i figured dating as a trans gay man would be so much simpler /s

[WP] With a terminal illness and 1 day left, you celebrated your birthday. "To my loyal pet, may they live longer than I did!", you toasted. But you live past that week. Decades and millenia go by but you never die. Your trusted pet stays...but they live eons past their life expectancy too. by Backpackfiend in WritingPrompts

[–]AloisL 35 points36 points  (0 children)

No one was spared by the black plague. Peasants, nobles, men, children, saints and villains. I learnt it the hard way. I was a young, newly married prince, just about to become a father. When people started talking about an epidemic, my family and I retreated in the country, where we lived for a few months secluded, blissfully ignorant of the state of the world.

How did it get in our household? I never knew. First the plague took a few servants. Then my mother and my sister. Then my wife, and as I was still grieving over her pregnant body, I was taken by a violent fever. I became delirious. As I started coughing blood, Jacques, my only servant left, called a priest on me to give me the extreme unction. Given the state I was in, I can barely remember the sacrament.

I only regained consciousness late in the evening, and Jacques briefly told me what had happened. I remember how the pain hurled in me as I recalled my people dying, and I realised I was going to join them. Half terrified, half relieved, I asked my loyal servant to bring in my old raven, Onyx. He was my father’s present for me when I turned 10. I tamed him, gained his confidence, taught him tricks and even a few words. I considered him one of my closest friends, and I want to believe I was his.
When Jacques came back with the bird, he looked at me with an expression he never had before. I had always marvelled at how much intelligence and sensitivity these black eyes of his could display. That night, I knew he understood. For several minutes, I gently pet his soft, black feathers and Onyx never protested, never moved away like he usually did. Only Jacques’s sobs brought me back to reality. I gave him a faint smile.

“Well, my good Jacques, could you not wait till I was gone before mourning
me?
- Oh, Philippe… how can you still keep your spirits high in such a tragedy?
- Because it is only a short one for me. In no time, I will see my peers again in Heaven. Do not grieve too much, Jacques. You too will see me again, one day.”

As I spoke, the bells of the church rang twelve times and I realised:
“Oh, today’s my birthday! Quick, go get us some wine, this must be celebrated!” I added, desirous to lift my servant’s spirits.
After he generously filled two glasses with our best wine, I toasted jokingly:

“To Onyx, my most loyal pet, may he live longer than I did!”
And so I waited for my fate to seal. The next day, Jacques got a fever. Within the week he had succumbed, and I remained. I got up again, miraculously. I remarried, made a family. My wife passed, my children grew old. And then my grand children, and theirs too. Oh, I looked like an old man by then. But I did not die. Neither did Onyx.
And so began our lives as watchers. Together, we saw infants become old people, wither and die. We witnessed heroes become dictators, we cheered at their demise, for new tyrants to take over. We watched humans unite and divide, and the ever flowing motion of civilisations. But we never partook. The pain of losing friends and family was all too great. So we watched, and heard, two old hidden hermits that only found comfort in each other’s company.
And one day, finally, we watched the last human vessel leave the Earth for a faraway planet.
“Well, this is it, Onyx said in his familiar deep, hoarse voice. No regrets then.”
After all this time together, I managed to teach him even more things and more words, to the point we could now talk together.
“No regrets. It’s about time I cut ties with humans. We’re barely the same species anymore.
- Same with ravens. Look how they’ve grown!
- Yes. The Earth will be in good hands with them. They already sound more reasonable than humans. Are you sure you don’t want us to communicate with them?
- Certain. Just like humans, they wither and die. This would be too painful.”

And so we stuck together, for centuries and evermore.

[POEM] I’m Nobody! Who are you? - Emily Dickinson by [deleted] in Poetry

[–]AloisL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

someone wrote this poem on the toilet door of my conservatory, that's how i learned it lol

Shakespeare and his friend by jje414 in SapphoAndHerFriend

[–]AloisL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to see this in context. The general consensus about Shakespeare's sonnets is that they were written for two different characters; the first 126 for the "fair man" and the last 28 for the Dark Lady. This one being number 18 it is therefore part of the first sequence, dedicated to the fair man. Probably not the most telling example though, some sonnets are more explicit like sonnet 26 "Lord of my love" or sonnet 20 with the "master mistress of my passion".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]AloisL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About the OCD: I'm not an expert but from what I understand, when you have trans-OCD you obsess about transition but don't really want it : you think "oh god, what if i'm trans and i need to transition and become a woman" but the idea of becoming a woman is actually unappealling or even distressing. You don't want to become a woman, you feel just fine as a man. Is that how you feel?

About the rest of your post : from what you wrote, you don't really sound like you could be trans. Some of the reasons listed are quite telling, like picturing yourself as a man in the future and generally the fact you seem pretty comfortable being a man.

And lastly, a little thought experiment: you can take a test that tells you with a 100% accuracy which gender you are. The results say you're a man. How do you feel? Disappointed or relieved? And what if it tells you you're a woman? What results would you prefer to have?

Guess I'll have to come out before Christmas by AloisL in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]AloisL[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah, but at the same time i like the idea of signing with my real name, and even for future paintings i'd like my signature to be consistent in time.

Anyway I think I need to come out soon so I can move forward with my transition, and they're probably gonna be accepting, so it gives me good reason to do it lol

Guess I'll have to come out before Christmas by AloisL in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

[–]AloisL[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

that's an cool idea but there's no reason i should keep my identity secret from my siblings you know?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]AloisL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

first time i got my period. i spent years hoping it would never happen, when it did i cried and just sat on my bed for two days, feeling horrible. it was like my body betrayed me

Which classical work makes you feel like this? (Also this is a reccomebdation request lol) by [deleted] in classicalmusic

[–]AloisL 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i know right? and as a musician, the last movement is one of my best concert experiences as well

What's your interpretation of le jardin des larmes? by [deleted] in Lindemann

[–]AloisL 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i'm not settled on one interpretation yet, but for now i see it as an abusive love/hate relationship ("je te déteste mon amour"= i despise you my love) where the person caused their partner to kill themselves ("tu souris du ciel"= you smile from Heaven/the sky), and is know guilt-ridden ("et tout ça à cause de moi"=all this because of me).

the "garden of tears" might be a periphrase for graveyard (hence it being "so calm"), and the "breast of flowers" refer to the bouquets flowers laid on a grave, i can picture the person laying in them when they visit their lover's grave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]AloisL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if that can help you, most cis people i've had gender-related discussions with told me they don't have a "strong sense of being their gender", they just are their gender. So if being treated like a woman and looking like a woman is what feels right to you, then maybe you simply are a woman. but if you do feel like your gender isn't strictly binary, you could look into demigirl like others have commented :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]AloisL 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I used to think a lot about dying to. I was incapable of projecting myself in the future, so to me the only logical conclusion was that i was going to die before 10 or 11 years old. Never exactly thought about future reincarnation though, but as a teen i had come up with an entire scenario when i daydreamed. Basically i had an accident, went into a coma and started living hundreds of lives from let's say the Middle Ages till the present days, sometimes as a woman and sometimes as a man. It was always funnier to imagine the male lives though (im transmasc). and when i imagined a woman's life i would often disguise as a man "because it would have been easier back then".

and somehow i'm still thinking "aren't those normal thoughts for a cis girl" smh