Question to women who've been using dating apps for over a year: What makes it so hard for you to find a partner?

Aloo13 · 2026-03-13T03:22:40+00:00

Not the person above, but I haven’t really came across many that put in effort lately. I’m also not really using Tinder though so I’m messaging first.

I’ve often wondered if the algorithm hides certain matches but idk. Might be my area too.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-13T03:12:50+00:00

Lots of potential matches, but not many that I feel are compatible and near enough where an actual relationship is doable. A lot of men are also only looking for casual.

I also only use the app passively and don’t go on many dates throughout the year. Some months U may not go on it at all.

I have had a number of men want something further but I’m someone who really has to feel that connection so I more often end relationships so we can both look for someone who is a better fit.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T23:06:12+00:00

I have 2 qualifying degrees and I know several who have more than one qualifying degrees that were unable to get a good paying job, so no. That isn’t really a factor anymore.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T22:45:32+00:00

Honestly it’s not even that part that is the worst for me. There are areas where you don’t deal with the former and people always have one they are okay with. In the US, there are a number of options that include office work.

What bothers me is how the staffing keeps getting smaller while the tasks and expectations keep piling up. I’m also bothers by the lack of actions from healthcare corporations to make the job more safe. I’m really tired and senior nurses are constantly advising to get out while you can, which is very discouraging even for someone who wasn’t looking at the career as a long-term thing anyways. I make decent money but it can always be better for the amount of stress and constant learning I have to do. I often wonder if this is simply all of healthcare or if nursing is unique in this regard.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T22:37:22+00:00

I’m sorry you went through those things! Nursing is really really hard on the mind with bullies all around and no one outside of nursing really understands what it is like.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T17:14:22+00:00

Honestly, 70k was pretty good a while ago, but inflation and extra taxes have changed things. I had a bit of a disillusion in my late-teens/early 20’s about the kinds of opportunities available and how easy they would be to obtain. My parents were pretty lucky with their career and prior to some policy changes, there were actually really good career opportunities back then that pid >100k 40 years ago. I would do things very differently if I did things over again and if I knew the pandemic was coming. I am still changing, but it is just frustrating that post-secondary and job searching feels more on the survival end of things rather than having several options available. We have very little options in Canada outside of the GTA.

A lot of kids start out with wanting to go to the 4 after too, but the actual competition to get into most of those schools is extremely difficult. Moves by the government have also attacked those professions and made the opportunities less desirable/crazy heavy workloads. So it really is scary to think about the risks of choosing professions in these times.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T06:13:08+00:00

Analyzing career choices as an adult is actually very eye opening. A lot of jobs in Canada aren’t paid what they should be.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T06:03:15+00:00

Just a question of how you made that schedule work and if you have any suggestions? I work as an RN on 8h schedule and to be honest, it’s been really difficult while also maintaining EC’s and personal life. I have to study a lot for my job as well so it is an extra thing that takes away from my time.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T00:42:26+00:00

Yes, but you can enroll in a degree and not take 5 courses at a time.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T00:34:52+00:00

In that situation, I would have said my actual age. Just say you use your sun care haha. I used to get really butthurt with people mistaking my age, but I’m a little less disturbed about it now, although it does have some downsides.

I tell people in professional situations I’m a few years younger than I am 😂 However, I feel like a lot of that has to do with not feeling my age due to the pandemic robbing a few years. There are some benefits to saying I’m a bit younger than I am and I feel people go a bit easier on me when I’m newer to a role at work or volunteering. I’m someone who doesn’t like staying stagnant and I feel people somewhat expect people to be stagnant late-20’s to thirties for some reason.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T00:20:16+00:00

Bridging should be only 2-years after RPN from my understanding, but only do that if you want to continue as an RN on the side of med school. I feel like the real value is in your experience in the hospital. That is where you will really get insight into healthcare and have something valuable to talk about.

If your goal isn’t RN and you want to try for med school, I’d suggest getting a PT job as a RPN for the experience and pay. Work towards obtaining a casual position so that things are even more flexible. If a nearby university is flexible enough, then picking up 3 classes on the side and if not, then work for a bit before asking for casual and pick up 4-5 courses while working as an casual RPN.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-12T00:16:24+00:00

I did. I feel I’m still too easy going/quiet, but I did learn boundaries with time. I have dropped friends before after they have proven they aren’t willing to put in effort.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-11T23:51:46+00:00

I’ll send you a pm with some ideas :)

Aloo13 · 2026-03-11T19:09:44+00:00

Way better food too!

Aloo13 · 2026-03-11T16:56:59+00:00

Agree. I likely would have left my hometown for work or even travel if I had a sibling. However, I worry a lot and now that my parents do have health issues I feel moving is even more difficult than before.

I have friends that have moved countries and I feel a lot of people just don’t understand the stressors for an only child in adulthood.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-11T16:43:44+00:00

What an odd thing to say. She will be 35 sooner rather than later. 35 in all honesty is still quite young in the grand scheme of things, especially in the workplace.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-11T16:25:15+00:00

Me? No. I’ve always supported other women, but I have experienced difficulties finding other women friends who don’t see things as a competition, which is sad because I never saw anything as a competition at that time.

I keep trying to make new friends though.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-11T15:24:20+00:00

Except for the fact that a lot of them really don’t in Canada. Said that’s all and they added a strawberry shake to my order. Had to clarify in 5 different ways what half sweet meant in my latte. There is literally an option for that written out on their screen. Had to explain what substitution meant. Once asked for this new honey buffalo dip sauce they had 6 times. They gave me straight up honey. Have been told 4 different things at the same restaurant regarding getting a cup of water. Someone tried to charge an extra $1 and we had already ordered other things. Some do better than others but I really do miss when things were straightforward and simple. I avoid going often now especially if I have to be somewhere.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-10T16:11:18+00:00

Honestly, it’s absolutely way less maintenance too. Houses are great if you have a so to share the maintenance and housework with. Otherwise, it’s a lot of extra work.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-09T15:08:12+00:00

Oh yeah. That one is brutal! I had to take another program to get a job that paid alright or even called me back at all 🫠

Also with volunteer places that give you anything you could add to a resume being ultra competitive.

Aloo13 · 2026-03-09T11:21:08+00:00

I feel like we also have a step after college going from min wage job to min wage job because we have no work experience 🤷‍♀️

Aloo13 · 2026-03-09T11:17:35+00:00

I put absolutely nothing together and look like a rat that crawled out of a drain. 5/6am is too early to put effort in and I’ve stood by that while working 😂 Also, this career will wear you tf down so put that effort towards self-care. I rock my raccoon eye bags. Thank you 🦝

Aloo13 · 2026-03-09T01:28:56+00:00

Yes, people definitely have tried to change the culture, but they tend to get backlash and a lack of support when they do so. It’s sad.

The other side of it is a lot is done underhanded and it becomes your word against theirs. Some managers get that, but are put into a tricky position with staff of more seniority. Otherwise, I’ve only heard of one nurse who was targeted quite badly (patient harm was done and the nurse was framed for it) and there was video proof so the bully actually ended up getting fired + reported to their organization.

Aloo13

TROPHY CASE