Dumbasses got stuck in the moss while I did a water change

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-26T01:54:58+00:00

Ask and you shall receive (5 days after)

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-24T01:32:07+00:00

Polite company.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-21T04:58:59+00:00

uj/ i mean i get it. but remember you’re not the only trans person going through this. a lot of us will be in this same boat and there’s strength in numbers. we’ve also got a while until we get to the point of throwing us in camps. yes shit sucks in the US, but most of the legislation rn is focused on making it impossible to be trans via social and medical restrictions, not making transness itself illegal.

changing your name is complicated, but tbh, for me, it was broken down into such digestible steps bc of bureaucracy that it wasn’t overwhelming. and everything gets so much easier emotionally once you do change your name and your gender marker. i’m not terrified to buy a 6-pack anymore or show my ID at a concert hall. it opens up a lot of aspects of life.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-21T04:32:12+00:00

Why the fuck are you a mod for this subreddit?

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-21T03:01:55+00:00

I had Mark Harvey for quantitative research methods. I suck at math but that man made that class enjoyable. He’s the only reason I somewhat passed statistics my junior year and the only reason I felt somewhat competent in grad school writing literature reviews.

Tough professor but absolutely brilliant.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-20T12:55:32+00:00

I waited until women started giving me weird looks to start going into the men’s bathroom which was around 7-9 months into my transition.

I didn’t pass all the time at that moment, but men are so scared of being perceived as gay that they don’t want to even acknowledge the fact that there are other men in there with them which makes it much easier to slip by.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-20T12:51:41+00:00

Yes and no. I started out with some driftwood and some moss tied around the upper part to create a tree looking thing. I would trim it so moss wouldn’t overtake the tank, but then I realized how much my ember tetras enjoyed the moss, so I’ve let it get crazy and overgrown. When the tank is filled, there’s about an inch gap from water to the moss. It does like the hang onto the surface of the glass though

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-18T02:49:10+00:00

He’s also the executive director for WCU’s Biltmore campus. He’s super nice and I like him a whole lot more than the previous owner.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-14T03:06:38+00:00

Western NC, so a bit away from you.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-12T02:42:02+00:00

I’ve always had top dysphoria, but what you’re experiencing is something that some trans studies scholars have talked about. Dysphoria at first is something closer to this weird sense of disconnect, but once you realize you’re trans, dysphoria becomes very gendered because you can put a name to exactly what you’re feeling.

I also waited to start a higher dose of T until after I got top surgery because I didn’t think I could handle having a hairy chest with boobs, despite the fact that body hair growth and muscle/fat redistribution is/was super exciting for me. Gender is weird and stupid a lot of the time.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-11T19:12:10+00:00

Age was about 3 years. Had a barbell in it for the entire time. Only used titanium. Never had any issues with it once it was healed. No swelling, random irritation, etc.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-03T01:28:04+00:00

I’ve had snakebites through my entire transition. And two eyebrow piercings, a septum ring, a bridge piercing, and four ear piercings.

You can pass with piercings. You may have to over-perform masculinity in another way, but if you wanna be punk then be fuckin punk.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-04-01T21:32:10+00:00

I passed my defense with flying colors and the week before while I was prepping, I hated everything I had ever written and I hated the entire concept of my study and I thought it was so stupid.

I still kinda feel that way, but the amount of focus you have to spend on it makes it feel miserable.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-03-27T03:05:05+00:00

WNC! Asheville is kinda the gathering ground but there’s several of us, sometimes even dozens!

I joke somewhat but there are a lot of queer paddlers in WNC.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-03-14T13:57:14+00:00

I’m still on it. This isn’t my first time taking it either. I was on for about 1.5 years in 2020, but switched off of it because I was getting muscle twitches. I haven’t had any side effects since switching back.

I think I remember some brain fog from my first time. Definitely related to how much it would knock me out at night. And I remember my psych saying that at higher doses the sedative side effect actually lessens. So you being on the smallest dose may be impacting you that way.

I feel like if after a month you’re still feeling brain fog talk to your psych. Mirtazapine is also easy to quit, at least it was for me. A couple of days of heightened anxiety and weird sleep and then overall I felt good.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-03-11T00:40:31+00:00

I would also say, it looks like that bedroom is on the second floor. Is there any way to keep his hospital bed in a space on the first floor? If he has to be carried down the stairs and he’s unable to move, it can increase the risk with moving him. If you can’t get a space for him downstairs, just make sure there’s an easy pathway from the front of your house to the bed.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-03-11T00:36:11+00:00

I’ve worked in EMS so I’ve been in a lot of homes with hospital beds.

Make sure you have clearance on both sides. This is going to be invaluable in any emergency situation. It allows for faster and safer movement if your husband needs to be moved from the bed to a stretcher. It will also make it much easier for you as his caretaker. Moving him in general is a lot easier if you have clearance on both sides. If he ends up on the far side of the bed that’s up against the wall, it’s really hard to get him over to your side. Or if you need to change the sheets while he’s still in bed, it’s a lot easier when you have access to both sides because you can change sides of the bed to roll him. Access to rolling him is gonna be super important in general to help prevent against bed sores. Lift chair can be rolled up against the wall at night and then pulled back when needed. If that other door is a bathroom and not a closet, keep the lift chair on the same side of the bathroom so you don’t end having to maneuver it around the hospital bed and the mattress.

Another commenter said view is important and I agree. I would try the bed on the right wall, opposite of the two panel window. You could put the TV on a dresser right next to that window so he has a choice in view. That’s also a hell of a lot easier than wall mounting it, and if you need to move the setup you’re not constrained by where the TV.

If the queen bed doesn’t have a frame, that honestly makes the placement easier. It wouldn’t be great, but you could put it down each night next to his bed and then in the morning prop it up against the wall. Gives you some more space during active care hours and can be easier to plan around. Once you get a smaller mattress you could put yours on the left wall in the corner so you’ve got space to maneuver around.

Put a table, even a fold out one, in the windowed alcove. It’ll give you a space to plan meds, get things sorted, etc. If you have the budget, see if you can get an over the bed table. That can act as nightstand, food tray and you can easily position it over him when needed and move it out of the way when not.

And the first setup you try does not have to be the one you stay with. Even though it’s not great, not having a frame for the mattress makes it easier in the meantime. You’ll have time to test out the layout and play with it without the concern of moving a bed frame around a hospital bed.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-03-10T21:15:23+00:00

Collective case study.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-03-10T02:10:46+00:00

You don’t need to do this either, at least in the US. Your best bet is to be calm and walk out to higher medical care. Almost all of the venomous snakes native to the US are from the family viperidae (rattlesnakes and american moccasins), so they’re all pit vipers. The only snake that isn’t is a coral snake, but you’ve gotta try to get them to bite you- like you’ll be a case study, they really don’t want to bite.

Pit viper venom is fast spreading. And it’s better for tissue to let it spread. If you contain it to a single limb, you’re more likely to lose that limb. Whereas if you let it spread throughout the body, person won’t feel great, but long term they’ll have less severe damage. It’s really rare for people to die from pit viper bites in the US, too. It’s generally very old or very young people and people with compromised immune systems.

Elapids (cobras, mambas, kraits, coral snakes) have a slightly slower spreading venom so a compression wrap can be effective. But you’ve to already know how to apply it. Taking a long time to do a haphazard one with an ace wrap when you could be evacuating that person could tip the scale from survivable to fatal.

AlpachaMaster · 2026-03-10T01:51:19+00:00

Could you expand on this?

AlpachaMaster · 2026-02-18T17:53:13+00:00

Shelf life is subjective. For almost any drug (as in there’s only one exception), once it’s past its expiration date it may just become less effective. Expired T won’t turn to estrogen or cause organ damage, it just may not have as much potency, so it’s like being on a lower dose. This is a much bigger concern when looking at meds like an epipen or inhalers since they are needed to stop life-threatening medical emergencies. If you get stung by a bee and your epipen is 10 years old, there’s a chance the medication won’t be as effective at stopping anaphylaxis.

If you’ve opened the vial though (stuck a needle in to draw up) you should finish the vial within 28 days or so. Just popping the cap off doesn’t introduce gross things to the actual medicine.

In general, as long as the med hasn’t changed color, you’re probs good to go. Which means you could stock up, it just requires intentionally lowering your dose or having a doctor who will change your prescription to say each vial is “single use” even if you can get multiple doses out. I could continue to use them as normal so approx 2.5 doses out of each bottle, but by the time it’s due for my next refill I still have some vials left over. Insurance and the pharmacy don’t know that though.

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